Chapter 35
THIRTY-FIVE
Much like last time, I feel fucking sick to my stomach the morning of our choir performance.
Harley wakes me with kisses and soft touches, stroking my face and neck possessively, and I enjoy it for about three seconds before I remember what I have to do in a few hours and then I’m shaking again.
Avery cooks me French toast and I choke down a single piece, my stomach revolting the entire time.
She hides the coffee from me.
I’ve never been so fucking angry at her, not even when she was trying to destroy me before we became family. When I snap that at her, she just nods and smiles in this infuriatingly kind way that sets my teeth on edge.
When I snarl at Harley to piss off and let me shower by myself, she laughs at his kicked puppy expression. “She’s not going to be our Lips today until she gets this over with, Arbour. Just leave her to wallow Morrison-style.”
When I get out of the shower, stomping and throwing myself around, I find the whole family out in our room waiting for me, staring with various levels of sympathy and glee.
Ash can’t contain his fucking glee.
“I’ve been waiting months to hear this, Mounty, Morrison’s being fucking shifty about it. He never records songs without letting me listen to them; I’ve been feeling put out,” he says as he tucks me under his arm. I can’t do much more than nod and grimace.
We walk down to the chapel, and I sulk the whole way.
They all ignore me, which is usually what I want but just this once I’d like Avery to save me from this fucking assignment.
I don’t feel ready to sing yet. I don’t feel ready to listen to myself do it, but I’ve promised Blaise and… fuck. I love him.
I fucking love that asshole.
I sigh and pull myself together. We leave the others on their claimed bench in the front row. Avery squeezes my hand as we walk past, and I attempt some sort of smile at her. I can’t look at the other two, afraid they’ll try to kiss me and I’ll puke on them.
Blaise sweet talks Miss Umber and gets us the first slot so I only have to wait five minutes while they set the piano up. Then we’re being introduced and the squealing of the freshman girls at the front has a little of my usual fire returning.
Blaise roars with laughter.
“There you are, Star. I was afraid I’d lost you,” he teases and laces his fingers through mine.
“I fucking hate this, you’re lucky I love you,” I mumble, and his hand jerks in mine. I frown and glance up at his shocked face. He swallows roughly but I’m too busy freaking out to realize it’s the first time I’ve told the idiot I love him.
We walk out on the stage and Blaise grins easily, waving and bowing like the natural performer he is. I stomp out like I want to commit mass murder on every fucker in the damn room. Well, everyone but my family.
I sit on the piano bench, away from the crowd so I can hide behind Blaise’s broad form. He smiles and bumps my shoulder as he rolls his own back, loosening up before his fingers rest on the keys.
“Ready?” he murmurs, and I give him the slightest nod. I swear I’m going to puke.
His fingers start to dance over the keys in a somber, lilting dance, and my heart finally slows down until it’s following the beat of the music.
My mind turns off, my eyes drifting closed, and I let myself fall into the song.
I hit every note and my voice doesn’t falter.
I’m so glad Blaise’s chest is shielding my face from the audience because the second his voice joins mine in the first chorus, tears prick at the back of my eyes. We sound fucking perfect together.
I sneak a peek at him and find him staring down at me, ignoring his music sheets and playing the song by heart. He’s practiced for this moment for hundreds of hours all semester.
We’ve knocked it out of the fucking park.
I feel more powerful than I’ve ever felt before. Better than standing across from the Jackal drawing lines in the sand.
I’ve reclaimed my voice for myself, and I’ll never let anyone take it again.
We’re going to war and for the first time, I feel confident that we’re going to fucking win.
As Blaise finishes the notes, there’s a stunned silence like the whole room is holding its breath, then the applause is deafening. I can hear Avery screaming again, exactly like she did last time, but I can’t look over. I’m still trying to pull myself together.
Blaise grins out at the chapel and gives a little wave, before turning back to me and wiping my cheeks with one of his big, colorful hands even though they’re dry.
The microphone is still on so he can’t speak without the whole room hearing, so he quirks his eyebrows at me until I nod, I’m okay. I’m not broken. I’m just so fucking relieved to be healing finally.
He stands, making sure he’s still blocking me from the crowd, and then tucks me into his side to walk us both off of the stage. Miss Umber catches his arm at the bottom of the stairs to gush, but I don’t want to look at her while I’m still so raw.
Ash pries me out of Blaise’s arms and wedges me between him and Avery. I take a shuddering breath and Avery slips her hand into mine.
“That was fucking incredible, Mounty. I have goosebumps,” she whispers, and I nod. I swallow and smile at her, my eyes still a little watery.
Snickering comes from behind us and the look Harley serves the freshmen there would shrivel the balls of any gangster in the Bay.
I try to find my voice so they don’t think I’m going fucking crazy. “I’m fine. It’s just—”
“I know,” Avery cuts me off, running a soothing hand down my arm. “You’re slowly being put back together.”
This girl. Where the fuck would I be now without her?
Blaise takes his seat next to Ash and we sit through the rest of the performances, none as breathtaking as ours had been. My hands stop shaking, and by the last song, I can hum along under my breath.
The grin Ash gives me when he hears me is worth all the fucking tears I’ve ever spilled.
The chapel empties out and we wait until the crowd disperses. I look like I’ve spent a week in bed moping like some pathetic heartbroken teen, and I don’t want photos of that shit on the gossip site for the Jackal to see.
He’d probably enjoy them too much.
“Right. Dinner? I think we should order in, I feel like sushi,” Avery says, and everyone agrees, though I just want coffee and ice cream after my stressful day.
We stand and start toward the door only to be stopped by an unfamiliar voice.
“Blaise,” a woman’s voice calls out, and I frown when he freezes, then jerks his head around to follow the sound.
It’s his mother.
Harley curses viciously under his breath and moves in front of me while Avery and Ash both stare over at her like they’re hoping she’ll drop dead.
I try to stay calm.
“What are you doing here?” Blaise croaks, and my heart breaks a little at the haunted tone in his voice.
Casey Morrison steps forward and wrings her hands nervously, clutching at the—holy fuck—baby strapped to her chest. “I wanted to see you. Your agent called me about your contract; I know how hard you worked for it and I can’t believe you’d throw that away for… for a girl.”
Oh.
Hell.
No.
I step around Harley and cross my arms, pegging this weak and fucking gutless excuse for a mother with a look that rivals the Beaumonts’ in ice. She winces and gives me a watery smile.
“I didn’t mean it like… no, I did, but that was before I heard the song. It was beautiful. You both sound so lovely together.”
I try to ease my glare up a little but it’s impossible to shift. Blaise shakes his head at her, but his eyes are glued to his little brother.
“So you’ve seen I’m fine and now you’re going to, what, leave? Scurry back to Dad? Fuck, I can’t call him that anymore, can I? Go back to your husband, Mrs. Morrison. I’m fine, my girlfriend is none of your concern, and my choices are no longer yours to help shape.”
Casey takes another step forward and looks around at the other parents here, at the teachers all watching their little reunion with badly veiled interest. Being the wife of a billionaire in this level of society must be like living under a microscope.
“I am still your mom and now I’ve left your father. He… he’s left me with nothing and our prenup has protected his right to do that, but I can’t live without you in my life. I thought… I thought I could, but I was wrong.”
Ash snorts and steps up to Blaise, angling his chest until he’s covering his best friend from the prying eyes, the same way Blaise had just done for me.
He looks at her like she’s nothing, and says in a low voice, “If you had ever given a fuck about your son, you would’ve stood up for him against that miserable, egotistical excuse of a man years ago. Choke on your apology. Come on, Morrison. We have a family dinner to get to.”
Then he stalks off. Avery shares a look with me and then follows. Harley tugs at my hand and I nod, shooing him away after his cousins until I’m left standing there with a broken mother and faltering son.
Blaise sighs. “Give me your number. I’ll call you later and we can… figure something out.”
Casey smiles, and I try not to stare at how much she looks like Blaise when she does. It must be all the fucking sadness in her eyes, but I’m not letting her off the hook. Not at all.
Blaise takes the baby from her while she fumbles around for her phone. He smiles down at his little brother, and my heart clenches in my chest at the look of wonder.
Lord help me.
“Isn’t he cute?” he mumbles at me while he pulls faces, and I clear my throat.
“He looks like you, so yeah he’s cute.”
Blaise grins and tries to hand me the baby.
No.
No, thank you. I do not hold small humans. Not ever.
Blaise cackles at the terrified expression on my face, snapping a photo on his phone because apparently, he can just ninja the baby around in his arms like a freaking wizard without dropping it. I feel a little lightheaded and kinda wish I’d left with everyone else.
“Calm down, I’m good with kids. I’m surprised you’re not,” he says, and I roll my eyes at him.
“I have enough on my plate keeping you lot alive, I don’t have time to… hold those things.”
Avery will not stop laughing over the photo.
“I’m framing it and hanging it above your bed, so you remember even during coitus that you shouldn’t ever get pregnant.”
I side-eye her but nod, because I should never, ever have a baby.
Ash scoffs at her. “I was told very sternly by her doctor that those decisions are hers alone, Avery.”
Avery hands him a glass of bourbon and says, sickly sweet, “I have far more say in it than you ever will. Besides, how would that even work? Would you guys draw names out of a hat to see who gets to pass their DNA on?”
Fuck this.
I join Harley on the couch to hide from their snarking and he folds me into his chest easily. Blaise is distracted, tapping away on his phone to his mom, and I chew my lip as I watch him.
“We’ll be on suicide watch by the end of the week,” Harley whispers.
I wince, but I think he’s right. “He can sleep here tonight. I’ll see if I can talk him into keeping his expectations low.”
“Good fucking luck.”
After dinner has finished, and Harley and Ash have gone back to their room, I cuddle into Blaise’s chest and sigh. He rubs his cheek against my hair and whispers, “I promise I’ll be okay, Star. I’m not going to let her drag me under again.”
I wish I could believe him.