Chapter 21 #2
“Yes.” I’m physically screaming in his face, but limited sound is coming out.
“She’s with the paramedics.” He indicates one of the ambulances lined up in the mix.
I turn, primed to run, but he grasps my arm, holding me steady.
“East. She’s fine. Unconscious, but breathing. No reason she won’t make a full recovery.”
“She’s alive?”
“Yes.”
“She’s not dead?”
He frowns. “Well, yeah. That’s usually what that means.”
That’s all it takes.
My knees give way, the weight of the entire experience draining my last dregs of energy. I collapse to the sidewalk and everything goes black.
Time once again passes in a way that’s difficult to define.
I come to, aware of movement around me. A different mask covers my mouth and nose, this time delivering oxygen.
Sitting up, I see Brodie talking to Springer. As if he can sense me moving, he’s next to me in an instant, his face blanched with worry.
I try to speak, once again pulling myself free of a mask. “I’m okay.”
Springer plants a gentle hand on Brodie’s shoulder. Like it’s a tacit reminder that what’s going on between us is a secret. Brodie inches away.
Springer moves in. “Hey. You had us all a little scared there. How are you feeling?”
“What happened?”
“You passed out. That was a big fire.” He squeezes my arm like he’s checking I’m still in one piece. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Sure?”
I stand. Dazed and a little confused. “Sure.”
“Okay.” He’s still watching me like he’s not entirely convinced. “It’s good to have you back, East.”
The return drive to the fire hall is quiet. Everyone is exhausted. Mentally. Physically. Choke reverses onto the quad and we launch into resetting the rig.
I’ve been asked a million times if I’m okay and each time I say I’m fine.
I haven’t had the chance to speak with Mullet yet, but I’m sure he’s told someone by now that I removed my mask. I broke protocol. Unless he’s choosing to do the same, he’ll have shared what happened.
Stripping off my gear, I concentrate on the here and now, ignoring the tremble that persists in my hands.
I can’t change what I did. And to be honest, even if I could, I don’t know that I’d do anything differently.
My past ruled today. Maybe that’s what needed to happen for me to actually begin to heal.
A thud in the apparatus bays makes me jump. I look through the locker room doorway to see Brodie helping re-stow the tools, his expression saying he’s also a tangle of emotion. My hands tremble harder, craving his contact so badly.
I’m striding over before I can stop myself, but just when I’m within touching distance, the cap marches in.
“East. We need to talk.”
I freeze. Oh, boy. “Yes, Cap.”
“How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Mullet spoke to me.”
I swallow. “Oh.”
“What’s breathing apparatus rule number one?” He eyeballs me.
I fight the urge to shrink. “We can’t save lives if we can’t breathe.”
“So why the hell did you take yours off?”
I’m acutely aware Brodie remains close by. Maybe if I snog his face off, the cap will be distracted enough to forget his current line of questioning.
“East. Answer me.”
I stand tall. There’s only one way to respond. “I made a mistake. I was caught in the moment. The little girl was scared. It was only brief, but I know what I did was wrong. It will never happen again.”
His eyes narrow. “I should write this up.”
“Cap.”
He scratches at his jaw like he’s caught between wanting to chew me out and relief that I’m okay.
“I heard from the hospital. The girl and her mom are being kept in for observation overnight, but all signs say they’ll make a full recovery.
” He sighs. “And one of the paramedics wanted to pass on a message. It’s from the kid.
She said thank you to the lady firefighter. ”
A bright flash of white balloons in my chest and a sob falls from my mouth. Unfettered. Almost animalistic. Tension I had no idea I was carrying, finally being released.
Brodie’s next to me in seconds, his concern pinned on me.
“I’m fine. Just relieved.” I have to step back, hugging the wall. It’s either that or launch myself at him. The need to feel his arms around me is so acute it makes me ache.
Cap fixes his attention on Brodie, brow still lined with concern. “How was that for you? Get some good material for your article?”
“It was all the things. The crew is incredible.” He looks directly at me before dragging his gaze back to the cap. “Any news on the cause of the fire?”
“Electrical. Investigative team isolated the start point to a closet. A faulty power bar overloaded. Good job the building’s alarms were working or it could have been a lot worse.”
Brodie nods, desperately raking at his hair.
I practically whimper with the need for it to be my hand touching him.
Clenching my fists, I use the bite of my nails to take action before one of us does something stupid. “I think Brodie’s heading out, Cap. Said he wants to get writing.”
I feel Brodie’s eyes on me again but I keep my focus on the cap, willing Brodie to pick up on my cues. He needs to leave. I need to finish my shift. And then we can see each other. And touch each other. And taste each other. And never let each other go.
The cap falters, like he knows there’s way more to what’s playing out in front of him but is once again caught between loyalties.
Brodie steps away. “Savannah’s right. I’ve gotten a ton of material to work with today.
Thank you for making sure I got out there to see everyone doing what they do best. The experience was invaluable.
” He darts a final look in my direction before picking up his bag and heading out through the open bay door.
I remain clinging to the wall so I don’t run after him. “Is there anything else, Cap? I should probably rehab in case we get another callout.”
He nods, hesitating for a moment. “No. That’s all for now. But don’t ever fuck around with your mask again, Savannah. Other than that foolish lapse in judgment, you did good today. It was a big fire and a little girl has her mom thanks to you.” His nose twitches. “Well done.”
More heat blooms in my chest.
I wait for him to leave and then glare at the clock on the wall.
Since joining Eight I’ve never once willed my shift to be over, but right now, I’ve never wanted something more.
Just four hours. Four hours and I’m free. Four hours and I can see Brodie.