CHAPTER 8 #2
Honey delivers our food, ranch and all, with a smile on her face.
Because she’s the best waitress, she goes ahead and puts my slice of cake in a to-go box and taps it lightly after putting it on the table.
Vanessa licks her lips as she stares at her burger and Lara can’t keep a straight face.
I let myself peek at the way her face lights up from the corner of my eye.
The entire time we’re eating, Vanessa is more than willing to chat with me. She tells me all about Ariel, and I can’t help but look surprised to find out a goldfish from the fair over the summer is still alive.
Lara kicks the side of my leg just as my lips part to ask a follow up question and my I shove some fries in my mouth instead. I’m not sure what the kick means, but I’m not stupid enough to ignore it completely.
When Vanessa mentions drawing irises, just like my flower note suggested, I tear up a little bit. I won’t be admitting it any time soon, but it did something to me.
“I’d like to see them sometime,” I try to keep my voice steady, but it’s rough around the edges.
“If you’re allowed, you’re welcome at the shop anytime.
I always have drawing supplies and Riti is a great artist as well.
” When I look at Lara, she nods slightly which doesn’t surprise me because Riti has been taunting me with treats from Bunz Out for a while now.
I offer, “You can come in, check out our art and draw. Speaking of drawing,” I turn my attention to Lara completely and she stills, “have you given any thought to my offer?”
I’ve kept the question inside this long and it was starting to gnaw at me. I’m terrified to know her answer, but I also need to know. It’s incredibly frustrating.
With the meal winding down, the window to ask is closing.
Even though she’s clearly still pissed at me for crashing dinner, she takes pity on me. “I don’t know,” she sounds like she’s been debating what to do about my offer since it arrived.
My heart starts pounding in my chest and I have to stop myself from begging her to say yes. I’d never hear the end of it, but it’s really fucking tempting.
“I don’t think I want you to touch me,” I open my mouth and then snap it closed when she adds, “even in a professional capacity.”
I have to swallow hard. That fucking hurts. But it’s not like I don’t understand. I do. Trust is required when it comes to getting a tattoo. I’ve squandered whatever trust Lara might have had in me.
“I get it,” I keep my voice level, hiding my disappointment.
I run my fingers through my hair as my mind whirls, trying to latch onto something. Some suggestion. Some idea.
I’ve got nothing.
The mood around the table is completely different now. As much as I want to get up and run away, I force myself to stay and endure it. I started it, and I’m damn well going to finish it.
“The offer stands,” my voice is serious. “If you’re interested, you can come in any time and take a look at the space and my work. You might be inspired or find something you like in my book.”
I hate the way the words start to rush out of me, but I can’t help it. I’m desperate to get on her good side. I’m not even sure why it matters so much, but it does.
She doesn’t say yes.
She doesn’t say no either.
The feeling of being in purgatory is unsettling. But there’s nothing I can do about it right now. I can’t force her to say yes to my offer.
Even if I wish I could.
The end of the meal is awkward, and the moment Lara reaches for her purse, I’m already pulling my wallet out. I lay more than enough on the table for our meals and a good tip for Honey without looking at Lara.
I can feel her glare; why look at the woman?
“I’m paying for our food,” she insists while motioning between herself and Vanessa.
“I shoved into your booth,” I point out innocently, “that means I pay.”
She rolls her eyes, but she lets the argument end there. Thankfully. I’d rather not haul her out of the diner by throwing her over my shoulder. I’ll do it, if it comes down to it, but I know it’ll set me back.
How much, I’m not sure, but I’m not willing to find out. Not yet at least.
When I slide out of the booth, Lara is quick to stand up and get Vanessa moving. The woman practically power walks through the door.
It’s a damn good thing that I’m quick because I manage to keep up. I even hide my smile when people call out to her, and she barely conceals her frustration.
I’m curious about what frustrates her more—people holding her up when she’s trying to make her escape, or the fact that every person calling out is a person who saw us together.
That kind of news won’t stay quiet for long. I bet it’s already in at least one family’s group chat.
“It was nice eating with you, Playboy,” Vanessa says as I hold the door open on our way out.
I can’t quite stop the wince this time from hearing Vanessa say my road name. As we step outside, the sky is painted with colors created to remind us why daytime must turn to nighttime. It’s still warm, but the weather will be turning soon.
Change is in the air. I take a deep breath and reach for a little courage.
“My name is Jettson,” my words are a gentle rasp. “I’d like it if you would use it instead of my road name.” I swallow hard and keep my eyes on Vanessa before looking up at Lara.
The way Lara presses her lips together tells me she won’t be making the change anytime soon. That’s okay; I’ll chip away at her resolve.
When we get to where Lara’s parked, Vanessa is quick to open the door. She looks back at me and waves. “Bye, Jettson.”
My hand presses against my chest, right where my heart is, without me even realizing it. I don’t know what this feeling is, but I know it’s worth earning again and again.
Lara looks at me for a long time. I think she might say something, but then she simply shakes her head. “Thanks for dinner,” she throws the words out and I know they’re more for the sake of manners and basic respect than sincerity.
At this point, I’ll take it. I’m kind of desperate and not at all ashamed about it.
I stand in the parking lot of Dolly’s Place until her taillights are gone. Only then do I walk to my bike and head back to the clubhouse. I’m just about to pull through the gate when I realize I left my cake on the table at Dolly’s and stop in the middle of the entrance.
Do I go back?
Bolt looks confused when he steps out of the booth and calls out, “You good, Playboy?”
Damn it.
“Just fucking forgot my cake,” I call out to him.
That does not clear up his confusion. I don’t explain and just head the rest of the way through the gate. I’ll stop by tomorrow. Maybe I can pick up a whole one if I call ahead then. Then I can horde it and eat it all.
I’m chuckling to myself as I walk into the clubhouse. A few brothers are at the bar including Whiskey and Diesel. Before I can reach them, a blonde, who is on my shit list with no hope of being removed, steps into my path.
My face is a stoic mask as I stare Lola down.
“You’re finally back,” Lola’s face is both bright and sultry as she acts like nothing happened.
It’s ridiculous. And fucking insulting.
I cross my arms, unmoving. When she reaches toward me, I snap, “Don’t touch me.”
Her hand freezes in midair and she stops breathing for a long moment. I watch in real time as she pulls her composure back together. How had I never seen it before?
Now that I’m aware of where the seams are, they’re all I can see.
Wild how that happens.
And fuck me; I’m a damn idiot.
I almost smile at the realization.
When I look around, I meet the knowing glances of more than a few brothers. Others are just curious and eagerly anticipating some sort of show.
I’m not really in the mood to give them one, but I’m not swallowing her lies any longer either.
Unwilling to indulge her, I cut in before she gets her full mental footing back, “I’ve been very clear. I don’t want you. I never wanted you and I never touched you.”
Her mouth falls open but no sound comes out.
“You don’t need to act like I’m returning home from war every time you see me,” my voice is hard. “I’m done putting on whatever play you think is happening here. This is the last time I warn you about approaching me.”
I walk away and don’t look back. She knows what is at stake.
I’m just not sure she cares; I’m not sure she ever did.