CHAPTER 10
PLAYBOY
I almost drop the bags from Dolly’s Place as I open the door of Bunz Out, but save them at the last moment.
It’s the same meal Lara and Vanessa chose the other night when I slid into their booth like I belonged there.
Honey helped me out and had a soft smile on her face the entire time she took my order.
Saying it was for Vanessa and Lara was more than enough for me to get the inside scoop.
And I swear Stan loaded up on the fries just for us.
I’m more than happy to take all the help I can get. If people pity me for my stupid decisions and want to help me clean up my mess, I’m not going to turn it down.
I hear music coming softly from the kitchen and one of the new employees stands behind the counter with a secret smile on her face when I hold up the bags from Dolly’s. I motion for her to be quiet and point toward the kitchen and get an enthusiastic nod in response.
Bunz Out will be closing in a few minutes, and the cases are mostly empty with the last of the baked goods being packed up. The sitting area is empty and looks like it’s already been wiped down.
When I’m shooed toward the kitchen, I don’t wait to be told twice. I might be slow about some things, and blind about others, but I know an opportunity when I see one.
When it comes to Lara, opportunities are few and far between. I’m not going to let one pass me by.
The moment I swing open the door to the kitchen, I stop completely. I don’t even dare move because the last thing I want to do is pop the bubble I’m being allowed to witness. “Buy Dirt” by Jonathan Davis and Luke Bryan is playing while Vanessa and Lara dance around and sing together.
It’s a scene that has me yearning to step deeper into the bakery kitchen and join them. The lyrics are all about making a life, building it into something strong, and putting in the work. A smile stretches across my face as they sing the chorus together, very off-key.
“Brownies were a good idea,” Vanessa giggles while doing some sort of shimmy dance that moves from her toes all the way to the tips of her fingers which she flings up in the air above her head.
“You know it,” Lara agrees, her words filled with amusement. “We’ll make the batter down here and then go put it in the oven upstairs so everything can be locked up.”
Vanessa sings along to a few more lines as the song comes to an end. She gets louder the more she gets into it. It’s fucking adorable.
The longer I watch Lara, the harder it is for me to understand how I could have believed all the shit Lola was whispering in my ear. She’s not manipulative. She’s not calculating. She’s not cold. She’s not spiteful and heartless.
She looks at Vanessa with eyes full of love and that feeling is reflected right back to her. Knowing the history between them, the kind of devotion Lara feels makes sense. It’s more than a mother’s love and responsibility.
It feels like I’m looking at the world clearly for the first time in far too long. Now every memory I have of the words Lola whispered to me makes me sick.
The pain comes when I remember how I took those whispered lies and turned them into weapons. All I did was hurt Lara while making myself look like a fool.
Vanessa was right to say Lola plays people like a marionette. My strings have been cut, and it makes me feel unmoored, pathetic, and useless.
I’m all messed up over how easily I believed Lola’s lies. I made it so damn easy for her to fool me.
Because I didn’t want to see the truth.
Because it was easier to not ask Lola the questions I should have asked from the start.
I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.
My fingers clench tighter around the bag handles. I’m frustrated with myself and I’m pissed that I can’t take it out on anyone.
This would be so much easier if I could just hit someone to work out the problem. One punch and done.
But no. I had to go and be an asshole, and now I have to make it right. The last thing that would help the situation is violence.
It’s a fucking shame.
Unable to stand it anymore, I step into the kitchen fully and let the door swing closed behind me. “It looks like you ladies are having a good time,” I drawl.
Lara screams while Vanessa jumps and spins around toward me. The moment Lara spins as well, she throws the egg in her hand, the one she was about to crack, right at my head. It lands with a vicious sound which surprises me more than hurts me.
The yolk and whites slide down the side of my face, bits of the shell going with it, as Lara’s mouth falls open. I’m not sure if she’s more surprised at seeing me in her kitchen or at the fact that she just threw an egg at my face.
“Do you know how much eggs cost right now? And you made me waste one on your face,” Lara gripes just as Vanessa dissolves into a mess of laughter.
The laughter is completely warranted. I’m not even sure what to do right now. I stand like a statue as gravity does what it does with the remnants of the egg.
Before I can make a move, Lara’s composure breaks and her laughter joins in with her daughter’s. As the sound wraps around me, I don’t mind being covered in egg very much at all. She can throw an entire dozen at me. As long as they keep laughing.
“I didn’t know I was going to be pelted by an egg,” I try to argue. “I was just bringing you ladies dinner.”
That has Vanessa perking up. Her eyes go down to the bags in my hands and light up.
“You brought us dinner?” Lara sounds shocked.
I hate that she’s so surprised. She deserves to be taken care of. Especially knowing just how much she gives to her daughter and everyone else who comes in contact with her.
Because I wasn’t lying when I said I watched her. Just because I only saw what I wanted to see to fit the story, doesn’t mean that I’m not looking at those moments differently now.
Instead of calculation, I see care.
Instead of arrogance, I see determination.
Instead of elitism, I see strategized self-protection.
Fuck, I was a fool.
“I did,” I confirm while holding up the bags and giving a little shake. Not too much or else who knows what the egg slime will do.
Lara grabs a wad of paper towels and walks toward me, every step hesitant like she’s not sure what I’m going to do when she reaches me. I want to hook my arm around her waist and pull her closer to me.
I watch her face as she reaches up and gently wipes away the cracked egg. Some has dripped down onto my shirt, but I’m not worried about it. Still, she wipes it away.
“Sorry about the projectile sliming,” she murmurs as she cleans the last of the mess.
“I should have looked in your hand before startling you. Next time, I will, especially because you could have a knife in your hands,” my tone is part teasing and part completely serious.
“I don’t think I would have thrown a knife at you,” she says it thoughtfully, as if she’s really thinking about whether she would have or not.
“I’m not going to take the chance,” I pout a little, hoping she’ll take pity on me.
When she smiles, even if it’s smaller than before I interrupted their karaoke concert, I tuck the sight of it away. I made her smile.
It doesn’t feel like a very big win, but I know it’s a start.
“What did you get for dinner?” Vanessa asks the question as she steps closer and peers down into the bags like she’s suddenly developed x-ray vision.
“I got everyone’s regular orders,” I tell her. “Honey helped me.”
Lara looks like she’s trying to come up with any excuse to turn down the food in my hands. I can’t let it happen. Who knows when I’ll get another golden chance like this one.
“I was going to drop off your dinner and take mine home, but now I’ve been assaulted by unfertilized poultry,” I try to keep my voice innocent with an edge of grievance.
Lara isn’t buying it and she shoots me a look. Then she looks between me, with hope written on my face, and Vanessa, who is practically bouncing on her toes.
I don’t ask to stay and eat with them, but I don’t have to. The unspoken words are hanging in the space between us and we both know it.
“Fine,” Lara finally relents while rolling her eyes, “you can stay and eat.” She mumbles under her breath, “You’re both incorrigible.”
“Mama,” Vanessa exclaims and wraps her arms around Lara’s waist, “you’re the best.”
“The best,” I chime in, the perfect echo.
Lara purses her lips and makes a humming sound before motioning toward the door to access the stairwell to the apartment upstairs.
“I’ll finish up the batter and make sure everything is locked up down here.
Vanessa,” she looks toward her daughter in a way that holds weight, “how about you take Playboy upstairs so he can wash his face. I’ll be up in just a few minutes. ”
“You got it,” Vanessa chirps.
She grabs my arm with surprising force for her age and pulls me along behind her. It’s not like she really has to pull me along; I’m not going to miss this opportunity by dragging my feet. Hell no.
The moment we step inside their apartment above the bakery, something settles in my chest. Everywhere I look there are little touches which could only be left by the ladies who have made this space into a home.
It’s not huge, but it doesn’t need to be since it’s big enough for this little family. There are pictures on the walls and drawings on the fridge. The blanket draped over the edge of the couch, which is a little big for the space but comfortable looking, looks like it would be cozy.
When the fuck have I ever thought of anything as cozy?
I think these ladies have already gotten under my skin.
Vanessa keeps moving me through the open space and toward the kitchen. When she taps the counter, I can’t help but chuckle as I put the bags down.
With a sheepish look, I let her know, “I couldn’t bring the milkshakes because I was on my bike. These fit in my saddlebags, but a milkshake?”
“That would be a disaster,” Vanessa says knowingly.
“Probably,” I agree.
She points to a cabinet and lets me know, “Glasses are in there. We have juice, soda, and water. You can grab what you like. I’m having strawberry lemonade.”