Chapter 23
Back at the Farm
I halt the car at the garage exit and turn to face Anders. “I will look after Cerium until you get back. I won’t let anything happen to your company.”
His hand reaches across and squeezes mine; a wordless acknowledgement. Pulling out onto the street, I glance at the navigation. “You’ve got an hour to tell me everything I need to know.”
I head south until we reach the Thames, where I turn west and follow the river before peeling off to skirt around Buckingham Palace. Sloping left, we pass Harrods. But Anders ignores the sights. He’s trying to brief me as best he can, given my attention is split between him and the city traffic.
My head is spinning with details by the time I pull up in front of departures for Terminal Five at Heathrow.
Anders has minutes before his check-in closes and he misses his flight.
There’s no time for anything but the briefest goodbye.
One kiss packed with the tumult of his emotions.
Then he grabs his rucksack containing his laptop and his gym bag of clothes and he’s gone.
I lean back against the car for a minute just to recalibrate. I feel like I’ve run a marathon, and it’s not even midday. But there’s no time to linger or the Nazis who control airport parking will fine me megabucks. Time to go to work and do some actual work.
I get back to the office just before lunch to find an email from Anders waiting for me, summarising and prioritising everything he told me in the car.
He’s obviously utilised the airport Wi-Fi.
But there’s also a small paragraph at the end telling me he finally got through to his sister.
His father is in intensive care and they are waiting to see what happens.
He closes the email with the words; I love you.
I sit electrified. What? Who does that? Who writes those three little words when they’re about to get on a plane and be incommunicado for ten hours!
Then sense returns. Anders is in an emotional maelstrom.
That sign-off can’t be trusted. The best thing is to ignore it.
If he repeats his declaration, then I will address it but until then, I should forget it.
Dwelling on it will only lead to me blowing it out of proportion.
The sensible thing to do would be to let it go.
But wow! He hasn’t said the words before, not even when he proposed.
And there are so many questions. Are you sure?
When did you know? How do you know? Why do you love me?
I can’t ask any of them and he can’t answer.
I tip my head back in frustration. It’s probably best if I’m not alone.
I’ll spiral. I grab my lunch and head to the break room.
“Do we have to call you ma’am now?” Chloe asks, all innocence.
“What on earth are you talking about?” I worry that Chloe might be hanging out with her local glue sniffers. Or worse.
“Haven’t you read your email?” Ginny licks the yoghurt off her spoon and then waggles it at me as if I’ve been very naughty.
I realise I was so knocked for six by Anders’s declaration, I didn’t read anything else. That man has an amazing ability to tip me off-kilter.
“Anders sent a round robin to the entire company,” she continues. “He’s had a family emergency. In his absence, you’re in charge. You should have seen Piotr’s face when he read that. He was spitting.”
Oh dear. It seems my first crisis will be one pissed off Head of Publishing who obviously feels reporting to me is beneath him. I shall have to schedule a meeting with all the heads of departments as soon as possible, but I need to make sure I’m across all the details first.
Anders has obviously taken my promise in the car literally, but wouldn’t it have been better to appoint one of the department heads?
If not Piotr, then Ahmed. Except in my heart, I know the answer.
I will run the company exactly as Anders would.
Piotr and Ahmed would both attempt to run it their way.
Neither Marnie from Art nor Ramesh from Technology would want the hassle.
And how long will Anders be gone? A couple of weeks, a month at the outside.
Of course, it’s only a few weeks until launch day, which we still haven’t announced.
“Grrr.” The groan leaves me involuntarily. Anders was right. This couldn’t have come at a worse time.
Nur reaches across the table to put her hand on my forearm. “I cannot think of anyone better to run this business. Everyone else sees only their fiefdom. You work across all the specialisms.”
“Yeah, but always with Anders as top cover. I’ve never sought leadership, nor wanted it.”
“Personally, I think it’s a stroke of genius on Anders’s part,” Ginny waves her spoon some more.
“Imagine how much trouble he’d have had rooting Piotr out of his chair when he got back.
If he’d realised what was going on before the boss sent his email, the twat would’ve moved his shit into Anders’s office and be bossing you about before you could say ‘Piotr is a sleazy wanker’.
Now the whole company has seen it, he’s hamstrung. Neat job, Anders.”
Was it a play? Anders was still shell-shocked when I left him. But after, when he was sitting at the gate waiting, maybe his instincts had cut in. It didn’t matter. People would believe whatever they wanted, whatever reinforced their own idea of him.
As soon as I get back to my desk, I open the round-robin email and read it for myself, so I know exactly what it says. There's not much more than Ginny’s summary.
Opening my calendar, I send an invitation to all the department heads for a meeting last thing today.
In all the hullabaloo earlier, I didn't cancel Effie's sleepover with Dana and Max and now I'm grateful because it means I can stay late.
I reread Anders's email, spending far more time on the bulk of it and ignoring those final three words.
Before the meeting starts, I decamp to Anders's office.
I thought about it long and hard and I'm convinced this is the right move.
If I stay at my desk, then it emphasises a lack of authority especially if I have to get up and move into Anders's office every time I need a confidential chat with someone.
Although it feels strange sitting behind his desk, it's not long until I get used to it.
We all have the same chairs and office furniture, and that helps.
A message comes from Ramesh, the head of technology.
Because of a prior medical appointment, he won't be able to attend, but he is sending a representative instead.
Two minutes before the due time, Marnie and Ahmed arrive closely followed by Piotr, Scarlett, and finally Nur.
Even though I know my friend will want to get back home to her boys, I included her because it's her job to keep the company finances alive and solvent.
And it helps to know I will be able to count on her support.
The last person to arrive is Rob, the substitute for Ramesh.
I bite my lip. That makes three sources of danger.
I don't know if Scarlett has said anything to Piotr, but Rob here in this meeting can sink my credibility.
He knows I'm in a sexual relationship with Anders.
Scarlett only suspects. If he chooses to make the meeting aware of it, everyone will believe Anders is thinking with his dick.
I don't waste time. As soon as all of them are settled, I say, “You've seen the email. I want to assure you that I will be communicating daily with Anders and that any substantial changes will be run past him.”
There are nods from finance, production, art, and technology. Piotr remains impassive.
“I would ask you,” I continue, “not to contact Anders directly but to route your enquiries through me. I only ask this as consideration for Anders. It is far better for him if he is not pestered with a myriad of questions all day long but instead deals with everything in one hit.”
There are nods and murmurs of affirmation from everyone except publishing again.
“There are two things I think we need to address immediately. The first is contact with external organisations. I do not think it would help anyone or this company for external partners or competitors to think anything is amiss. I will rearrange any appointments that Anders has by himself with external stakeholders. But if Anders was due to accompany you, please don’t cancel meetings but instead quietly remove his name from the list of attendees.
” I look directly at Scarlett as I say it and I’m relieved when she agrees.
There are more nods from the others.
“Secondly, clearly, I am not Anders. Nor can I act as a full substitute for him. We all know he could be very hands-on. I am a caretaker. Therefore, I am relying on all of you to manage your departments. Bring me the big things; deal with the small issues yourselves.”
“Do you know how long Anders will be gone?” Ahmed asks.
“I don't have that information at the moment, but I think we can safely assume it won't be less than a week. But it may be up to a month.” There's a gasp at my statement. I decide it can't hurt to give them a little detail. “Anders’s father is very sick and his family needs him.”
Rob looks studiously at the floor as he says, “We in engineering want you to know we will do whatever we can to help.”
I try to keep my breathing even, so my relief doesn't show. If I didn't know it would make Rob distinctly uncomfortable, I would be tempted to hug him.
“America is behind us in time, so I will speak with Anders last thing at night. I would like to schedule a ten-minute stand up every morning to brief you all. It can be virtual; you don't need to attend in person unless you wish to.”
“That’s a good idea,” Ahmed says.
“Are there any other questions?” I check around the room. Everyone looks reasonably content. At least Piotr hasn’t declared war. I take that as a win.