Chapter 26 #2
“Tosh,” I say dismissively. But it feels good to help Dana for once.
She’s done so much for me. All those times when I was at the end of my tether, she was always a phone call away, providing ungrudging support and help.
Friendship never weighs favours but if it did, the scales would be heavily against me.
“It’s true. I think you underestimate how many fans you have.”
“If I told you about my day at work, you wouldn’t say that.”
“Why? What happened?” Dana’s eyebrows quirk up.
I summarise my eventful week, careful not to divulge any company secrets but sketching out the opposition I experienced. She’s quiet when I finish. Then she says, “Effie’s not the only one who has grown.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been changing too, slowly but surely. You’ve begun to believe in yourself. I date it from the day Anders proposed.” She’s watching my reaction closely.
“Did you slip some vodka into that drink when I wasn’t looking?”
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t downplay it. Mike did a number on you. When you got that job at Cerium, you thought you were so incredibly lucky, didn’t you?”
I’m not sure what she’s getting at because it was luck. “I’d only been a virtual assistant. I didn’t have half the experience they were looking for. I got it because I went in as a temp who was available immediately and could hold the fort until they could recruit someone better.”
“Right. But they never found anyone better, did they? And three years ago, actually no, even a year ago, could you see yourself running the company?”
That’s easy. “No. And I’m not really running the company. I’m caretaking it.”
“But you are running it. And doing it decisively, making critical decisions. Big ones. I think knowing how much someone you admire believes in you and trusts you, has helped you believe in yourself.”
Dana means well, but she has no concept of the difference between what I do and what Anders does.
I can keep a good company running smoothly but I can’t provide the strategic vision that will turn it into a great company.
Her support is well-meaning but blinkered.
It’s also bittersweet. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure how much he admires me anymore. ”
“Why? What’s happened?”
“I think he’s back with his ex.” Feeling my eyes prickle, I blink furiously. I will not cry. It’s just the enormity of everything. The increasing risk I’ll lose my job when The Obsidian Sigil flops, and the growing realisation I’ve already lost my heart.
“What ex? He’s in the US looking after his dad, surely? Has some high school sweetheart re-surfaced?”
I tell her about Imogen. But instead of sympathy, she says, “Back up a minute. You said he said his mother called her.”
“Yes, but she came. Who goes swanning off to the other side of the world to help their ex’s parents unless they want to un-ex them?”
“Hold on.” Dana raises a finger and leans forward, bringing her head closer to mine. “So far, you’ve told me what his mum did, what his ex did, but not what he did. What did he say when you asked him about it?” She punctuates each point with a wave of her finger.
I fidget with the stem of my wineglass. “I haven’t asked him about it.
Honestly, he’s going through so much, I haven’t wanted to force the issue.
We hardly have any time and when we do, we have so much work stuff to cover.
” I don’t tell her how terrified I am of the conversation we need to have but I suspect she knows.
She reaches out a hand. “You have to speak to him,” she urges.
“And I wouldn’t be so certain about all of it.
You thought he was a workaholic who would never put his family first, then he jets off to America at what seems to be a crucial time in his company because his dad is sick.
Now you think he’ll put his ex ahead of you.
But that’s your self-esteem talking, not him. Speak to him.”
I dip my head. “I’ll do it tonight.” Right after I tell him I’ve fired Piotr.
Max and Effie are in bed and Dana has gone home, probably to have loud, adventurous sex with Fiona, when Anders calls.
“Guess what?” he says. But he doesn’t give me time to speak before he continues. “My dad woke up in hospital this morning.”
Excitement is bubbling through his voice. His words are rushed, his happiness beaming from every line on his face. His dimple is imprinted deep, his smile so broad I can count every one of his top set of teeth.
It is the end of a long, tiring day. Perhaps my brain isn’t working fast enough. Did I miss something? Did Mr Anderson II come home? Has he gone back into the hospital? For the life of me, I can’t see why this would make him happy. “I thought he was already in hospital.”
“No, you’re not getting it. This morning my father woke up and knew he was in hospital.”
Oh! His dad’s confusion is gone. Now I understand why Anders is so happy.
“Yeah. How great is that? It’s like a switch flipped in his brain. Last night when we left him, he was raving that if only we’d give him a bat he could take these fuckers on. This morning he told me off for swearing when I called one of his cows a mean old bastard.” Anders gives an ironic chuckle.
“That sounds like really good news.” I can’t help smiling myself.
“It is. There’s no way I could leave if he was still crazy as a loon. But now, if I can get someone… God, the relief! It’s like this massive burden’s been lifted. Mom and I were laughing in the car back from the hospital, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard her laugh.”
I find myself smiling back at him. “I’m really happy for you both.”
Anders sits forward, leaning closer to the screen. “Any way, I’ve been talking about myself for so long. What about you? Sorry I missed your call. What's going on?”
And he looks so radiant I can’t bear to spoil it. I can let him have this. I can let him have one day of joy before I destroy it. I’ll tell him when he calls tomorrow, I promise myself. It doesn’t matter if I wait twenty-four hours. It’s not going to make the blindest bit of difference.
“So,” I say instead, “Effie made a friend today.”
He clasps his hands together, raises them to his mouth and lets out a wolf howl.
“Stop that. Somebody will think you’re being murdered.” My head looks around as if I’m there in the room with him.
“There’s nobody here,” he says, leaning back. “Mom’s so happy she’s gone to tell the neighbours.”
Interesting. He doesn’t mention Imogen.
“You know,” he continues. “Everyone finds their own tribe eventually. It’s just some tribes are harder to find.”
“True.” I acknowledge his words with a dip of my head.
“Speaking of tribes,” he says. “You know, I haven’t told you how grateful I am for you looking after Cerium. It’s been a weight off my mind knowing you’re running things. I knew Piotr and the others would step up to help, but it’s great knowing my baby is safe in your hands.”
For a second, I can’t speak. I force the smile to remain on my face. I feel terrible. I’m only lying by omission. But it’s a lie all the same.
I hear the clatter of a screen door in the background. Anders’s head whips around. When he turns back to me, there’s a wry smile on his lips.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’ve got to go. I promised Mom I’d take her to her knit-and-natter group before I do the evening milking.”
Saved by Mom. I’m so relieved.
“It’s a great day,” he says, and disconnects.
Little does he know.