Chapter 29
Happy Families
We fall apart, completely spent. Anders flops back breathing heavily, then he pulls me under his arm. I lie beside him until I too have recovered my breath. I did do most of the work, after all.
“I love you,” I say. I figure I ought to catch up. But there’s no acknowledgement, not even a murmur. He’s fast asleep. I know I should wake him, send him out into the night back to his place but I can’t do it. He’s exhausted. And I want him here, in bed with me.
Instead, I reach over to the bedside table and pick up my phone. I set my alarm to vibrate only and slip the phone under my pillow. I’ll wake him early. He can be gone before Effie gets up. Then I turn over and pull the duvet around us, creating a cocoon.
I’m still tired when my alarm wakes us the next morning, so I can only guess how Anders feels.
While I wrap myself in a dressing gown, he tiptoes about locating his clothes.
He drags the laundry bag back to its home and I open my bedroom door cautiously to check the coast is clear.
Together we sneak along the hallway past Effie’s room.
By the front door, we stop. Anders kisses me hard enough to make my toes curl. My dressing gown parts as his mouth travels down my neck and along my collarbone. His hands cup my breasts.
“Morning.” A little voice penetrates my fug of lust. Then, suffused with delight, “Anders! You’re back!”
We freeze, both of us incapable of movement. We are caught, literally red-handed. I’m thinking if we don’t move, don’t draw attention to ourselves, she may not notice.
But Effie stops. Her gaze fixes on us as she takes in the sight, Anders’s palms mid-massage of my tits. With every appearance of nonchalance, he slides his hands down and I pull my gown shut. Her head tilts.
“Is Anders a daddy who lives with us now?” Effie asks. “Because you said…”
“I know what I said.” I cut Effie off before she can replay our previous discussion in front of Anders. I’m not sure I’m up to reasoning with her at this moment. So I say, “Maybe. But not yet.”
Anders raises his eyebrows at me, but I ignore the question in his eyes.
“Would that be a problem?” I ask, watching my daughter closely.
Effie considers my query, her serious face intent. “Would he bring Smaug’ette?”
“Of course,” says Anders, never slow to exploit an opportunity.
“Okay then.”
It seems it’s that simple, if you’re a nearly-five-year-old. Not if you are older.
I need to prepare her. “He may not like it.” Anders scoffs but I go on. “I may not like it. And you may not like it. So, we’re going to go very slowly.”
She just stands there, but I know she’s processing what I am saying.
“We’re going to start with Anders coming over for dinner and sometimes he may stay the night,” I explain. “It’s a long way back to his place and it will be late.”
“Like when Max comes over?”
“Exactly.”
“But where will he sleep?” she asks. “He’s too big to fit in my bed. I s’pose he could sleep on a cushion on my floor.”
“I’ve got a big bed. I don’t mind letting him share it,” I say with magnanimity. “He would be more comfortable there than on a cushion.”
Anders chokes back a laugh. “That’s very kind of you. Thank you.” He even almost manages a straight face. Luckily Effie isn’t great with non-verbal cues.
I’m about to push Anders out of the door before this conversation gets completely out of hand, when Effie’s little voice comes again. “So when is he coming?” She’s a natural at hammering down detail.
“For dinner?” I want to be sure she isn’t expecting Anders to turn up with all his worldly goods, including his dragon.
“I can do tomorrow?” he offers helpfully. He could have gone for tonight but he’s giving her time to get used to the idea of it. My heart warms a tiny bit more.
“And Smaug’ette?”
“She doesn’t travel well. She can only come when everything is fixed and we have a home for her. You wouldn’t want her to catch a cold.” Great. Anders has just made Effie his greatest lobbyist.
Effie shakes her head. “She’d die.”
I have no idea if she’s being dramatic or factual but I’m less than keen to share living space with the lizard or more accurately, her food. I’m happy to postpone Smauglette’s relocation as long as I can. So, I nod along.
“Sweetie, Anders has to go now. Is that okay?” I check if Effie has any more issues she needs covered before opening the door.
When she gives a short nod, Anders exits.
He hesitates before walking off, obviously wanting to kiss me but I shake my head.
We’ve been lucky Effie’s taking it well so far; I don’t want to push it.
He doesn’t have to wait long for his kiss.
As soon as I get to work, I head into his office without knocking.
I find him in the middle of the floor, upside down, in a headstand.
His fingers are laced together holding his head, his biceps bulging.
His t-shirt, a clean one – he’s obviously been home – has slid down, exposing his taut stomach.
I’m so tempted to lightly brush my fingers along his waistband, just to see how he reacts.
But he anticipates me. With rock-steady control, he lowers first one leg, then the other, and flips upright.
I pout, then smile. That was impressive.
“I’ve an idea,” he says, enthusiasm lighting up his eyes. But I’m long familiar with his ideas and I’m less keen.
“Go on,” I say cautiously, careful not to be too encouraging.
“If Effie knows about us and seems okay with it, I don’t think we need to hide our relationship.”
“I guess.” It’s only fair, I suppose. “Who did you want to tell? Your family?”
He nods. “And people here.” He’s watching me. He must know it affects me more than him. No-one is going to whisper about him sleeping his way to the top.
I consider his request. The secrecy protects me, and I kind of like the extra spice.
But there is a crossover between my life here at work and outside of it.
There are people from Cerium I count as friends.
Sooner or later, they will find out and the longer I keep it from them, the more upset they will be.
And I like the idea that Anders could just slide an arm around my shoulders, could touch me casually the way people in long-term relationships do.
He could place his hand on the small of my back or drop it to my thigh.
He could lean in for a peck or a stroke of my hair.
Those quick reminders that you are someone special, those fleeting moments of comfort.
“Yes,” I say.
His grin breaks out, bigger than I’ve ever seen.
“But not until after lunch,” I caveat. There are certain people I need to tell personally first.
“Deal,” he says.
When lunchtime rolls around, I make my way to the break room, hoping to tell all my work friends in one swoop.
Ginny is there, accompanied by Rob. My heart takes a little dip because I know there's no hope for him. Ginny’s affections lie elsewhere.
It seems obvious now that she and Steve are right for each other.
I don’t see why I didn't realise it before I agreed to that awkward coffee date.
But I guess Ginny herself didn't understand it until recently, or she wouldn't have wasted all that time with Piotr.
Sometimes life is just one long learning lesson.
I notice Rob’s lunch is a fizzy drink and a chocolate bar again.
He eats more like a teenager than a grown man, and it's not good for him.
Maybe we should look at providing free food.
Then our overly invested workforce might get at least one healthy, nutritious meal a day.
I bet Rob goes home to takeout. And I doubt he's the only one.
I take a seat with them, greeting each in turn. Rob studies his unopened Snickers. “How’s my little friend?” he asks.
“Rubbing along. You?”
His eyes move to the doorway. “Same. Good that Anders is back.”
Nur and Chloe walk into the breakroom. Rob snatches up his chocolate. He rises. “Better be off,” he says. “Now that the boss is back, there’s no slacking.”
“Are you saying you slacked when I was in charge?” I tease, arching one eyebrow.
“Absolutely not.” His answer is deadpan but sincere. “Did you think I was?” He frowns.
I relent. “No. I was attempting to be humorous but failed.”
He picks up his coffee and leaves as Nur and Chloe take their seats. I ignore them and concentrate on Ginny. “Does Rob know you're with Steve?” I ask because he seemed a little dejected just now.
Ginny nods.
“You told him?”
She shakes her head and wrinkles her nose. “Steve did. They’re mates.”
That’s good. Steve would have handled it well. Now, to make my own confession. I wait until everyone's settled down, opened their lunch boxes, and digging into their food before I say, “I've got some news to share.”
They all look at me expectantly.
“Piotr’s suing us?” Nur asks.
“He’s sending you to Malaysia?” That’s Ginny.
“You’re pregnant?” Chloe says.
Might as well rip the plaster off. “Anders and I are dating”.
Ginny’s mouth falls open. “No!”
But Nur looks at Chloe, and Chloe looks at Nur. Then the younger woman holds out her hand.
“Told you,” she says. “You owe me a basbousa cake.” Nur nudges her hand away.
“Seriously?” Ginny says, her voice up an octave. “Did you learn nothing from me and Piotr?”
“Anders is not Piotr,” I point out.
“No, but what are you going to do if it all goes to shit? There’s no-one to have your back like Anders did for me when Piotr dumped me.”
I'm not sure if there's anything I can say to reassure her. But I try. “This isn't something I've done lightly. He asked me a long time ago, but I didn’t say yes for ages. We didn’t just leap into bed.” Okay. We sort of did but they don’t need to know that.
“Of course you didn’t.” Nur leans across and squeezes my hand. “But why didn’t you tell us before? We’re your friends.”