15. Dixie
DIXIE
I can't detect any trace of mockery on Player's face, if I can even understand him at all. And that's far from certain! This man is an enigma. He's capable of taking care of me one minute, only to humiliate me the next.
A discouraged sigh escapes my lips. My attention shifts to the interior of his room, which I'd never seen until now. He hasn't put up any decorations. Apart from his belongings scattered here and there, there's nothing personal here. It's almost as if he's not really planning to stay.
I frown at the thought that Player might leave OMU.
"My patience has its limits, Alabama," he warns me.
He stands there, nearly naked, and my gaze travels across his muscular chest to get lost on his abs. I swallow hard when a wave of heat courses through my stomach.
"I had an accident," I blurt out suddenly.
Now it's Player's turn to be surprised. Confusion is written all over his handsome face.
Uh... Since when do I find him attractive?
I guess his insufferable temperament doesn't prevent my body from reacting to his assets. Guilt mingles with the desire that's gradually taking possession of my body since I entered this room.
"What kind of accident?" he insists.
His question pulls me from my thoughts. Instinctively, I move toward the window, leaving Player behind me. I'm aware he has a clear view of my butt, but I don't care.
Or maybe I want him to check me out?
I shake my head to straighten out my thoughts, even though I know it's pointless. It's very late, and fatigue is making me go off the rails.
My memories come flooding back, probably triggered by the nightmare I had, and I don't fight them. Besides, I'm not sure I could control them even if I tried.
"It was a few years ago," I begin.
I hear the sound of Player moving behind me. When I glance over my shoulder, I realize he's stretched out on his bed, one arm folded behind his head. His bicep bulges, and I notice he could just as well be posing for an advertisement.
I turn my attention back to the outside, but the campus is shrouded in darkness. Most students are asleep at this late hour, and I should be resting too because I have a paper I need to work on tomorrow.
My organizational considerations cease when I sit down on the bed across from Player's. His gaze never leaves me, and for once, he doesn't rush me.
"I was part of my high school's cheerleading team." His condescending smirk doesn't escape me, and I give him a threatening look. "If you want me to talk, you'd better not make a single disparaging remark."
"I didn't say anything!"
"But you thought it!"
He removes his arm from under his head to sit up on his bed. When he leans forward, the space between us diminishes. A strange light ignites in his pupils. "Oh yes, Alabama, tell me what I'm thinking, I'm interested."
I don't know if I'm imagining the tension that settles between us, but I'm completely unable to string two coherent thoughts together. I just shake my head.
"So you were a cheerleader," he continues. "And then?"
"We were good, one of those teams that has full try-outs, gymnastic routines, everything.
We were getting ready for the state championship, but really it was just going to be a steppingstone for the national title, and we had every chance of winning it.
As an athlete, you know what it feels like when you're close to the goal, when you've worked so hard that your body knows what to do without you having to think. "
Player nods imperceptibly.
"I knew the routine by heart. I could have done it in my sleep..."
My throat tightens. I wish I had the power to go back in time and change everything. If only I could warn the Dixie of the past. But it's impossible. All I have left is the present.
"But something went wrong, and when I performed the cradle..."
Words escape me because I'm overwhelmed by the sensations, that pain my body refuses to forget, the horror I felt the moment I realized I was going to crash to the ground, the screams around me—everything is etched in my memory.
My fingers unconsciously rub the scar that runs across my forearm, and my attention shifts to this thin, light line that materializes the end of a dream in my flesh.
My vision blurs when tears fill my eyes. I don't want to cry, especially not in front of Player. I know I haven't finished my story, but I can't go on. I'm overwhelmed by all the emotions I can't contain.
To my greatest surprise, I suddenly feel Player's presence next to me. He puts an arm around my shoulders, and I let myself lean against his warm, powerful body. If only he weren't so insufferable.
I turn my head toward him and his gaze captures mine—deep, unfathomable, mysterious. The sadness ebbs a little as I wonder what it would be like to kiss Player.
His lips are so close, it would take almost nothing to end my questioning and taste him.
"Stop that, Alabama."
My gaze leaves his mouth to find his eyes.
"I didn't do anything."
"You're thinking about it."
"Now you're the one reading my thoughts?" I say ironically.
Player shakes his head. "Your thoughts, no. But your body speaks volumes."
"You don't say," I reply, sensing the bulge in his shorts more than feeling it again.
He narrows his eyelids while observing me. "Your breathing has accelerated since I sat down next to you, your lips parted while you were staring at mine, and your nipples..."
He doesn't add anything, but I know they're hard, betraying my desire.
"You're on the verge of giving in, Alabama," he observes.
I think about what he just said. Am I about to admit that I'm falling for him? No! I'm just a little confused, that's all!
"You're confusing desire with distress," I retort. "I'm shaken up by what happened to me."
Player studies me for a moment with a skeptical look.
"Couldn't we consider a truce?" I suggest.
I'm the first one surprised by the words that just left my lips, but it's too late to take them back.
Suddenly, Player moves away from me, breaking the tension that’s built between us, then he stands up and walks to his door. He opens it before turning back to me. His face is hard and his voice cutting as he says, "Consoling sniveling little girls isn't something I enjoy doing."
My desire instantly vanishes, replaced by anger and humiliation. I stand up and clench my fists while he continues, "There will never be a truce between us, Alabama, and if you ever get close to me, it will be an admission of your defeat."
"Come on, girl! Lighten up a bit!"
I glance sideways at Saphya. She's the one who convinced me to go out tonight, yet again.
Pia isn't with us because she had to work on her art project.
I don't understand why she's so stressed about a subject that should only bring her joy, but when a passion becomes an obligation, pleasure takes a hit.
"Hey! Are you with me, Dixie?"
I turn my attention back to my new friend.
"Are you sure this party is even allowed?" I ask her.
She managed to drag me to the other side of campus, to the Delta Tau Omega fraternity house. The frat is known for its wild parties, and I'm expecting the worst.
Saphya shrugs. "It's not at our place, so if there are problems, they won't be ours."
I make a skeptical mumble that she doesn't pay any attention to.
Saphya grabs my arm and we cross the path leading to the porch of the large building.
There are a few fraternities and sororities at OMU that are very well-known and whose creation dates back to about the same time as the campus itself.
"It's a tradition for the Delta Tau," my friend informs me. "We have to attend the first party of the year!"
"Far be it from me to question your sense of duty, but..."
Saphya stops abruptly and turns to me, placing her index finger on my lips. "Dixie, less thinking and more action!"
I frown, and when her hand drops, I mutter, "Are you trying to be Maverick now?"
Saphya gives me a stern look. "Do you really think he’d sit there playing wingman all night? Or would he get in there and engage?"
I shake my head to indicate I don't know.
"Well, I'm certain he'd enjoy a moment with his friends."
"But do you actually know these Delta Tau guys?"
My roommate waves her hand as if to indicate that's just a minor detail. Our considerations are interrupted by the arrival of a group of already lit students singing at the top of their lungs, and Saphya takes the opportunity to follow them.
I follow her, without much motivation. The short night I had hasn't allowed me to recover, I didn’t get anywhere near as much of my paper written as I wanted, and I'm only dreaming of the moment when I can dive into my bed.
Oh crap!
It's one of Keri's nights to ‘have fun’, which means she'll definitely bring someone back, and therefore, I'm not likely to get any sleep. This prospect discourages me in advance.
I think longingly of Player's empty bed, if only he would let me use it. But he's so stubborn that there's no chance he'll let me. It's with a resigned sigh that I enter the three story clapboard house, where the party is in full swing.