17. Dixie
DIXIE
I don't know why I finally agreed to go back to the dorm with Player.
During the rainy journey, I kept lecturing myself.
But despite how he treats me like I have the plague, I'm drawn to him.
So much so that I don't even think about taking his hat off and giving it back to him when we arrive.
We're both soaked, standing in the middle of the common room. The entire floor seems deserted.
Lightning streaks across the sky outside, illuminating Player's face as he stands close to mine. His gaze lingers on my mouth, and I feel my lips part in invitation.
Thunder rumbles and I jump in surprise.
"Don't tell me you're afraid of thunderstorms, Alabama?"
I don't know if he's trying to hurt me, but his voice isn't sharp or mocking. The power is still out, and obviously, it's not about to get fixed anytime soon.
"This really is a crappy night," I sigh.
Player snickers quietly. "And I haven't even done anything to you yet."
My throat goes dry. What's he thinking now?
I've learned the hard way that Player can be inventive when it comes to torturing me.
Without warning, he leans toward me. I should move away from him, run as far as possible, but I can't. Simply because my body completely contradicts my mind, I still feel this unspeakable desire eating away at me as effectively as acid.
Player stops just shy of my lips before declaring, "OK, I'll do it."
My heart skips a beat before racing again. Player is about to surrender, he's finally going to kiss me and...
Suddenly, the lights come back on in the room and I'm facing a stone-faced Player. On my end, it's pure chaos, my hands are clammy, my panties are on fire, and I must be as red as an overcooked lobster.
The flash of understanding that crosses his face doesn't escape me, he's read me like an open book.
"Oh, Alabama..."
His condescending tone grates on my nerves and I jump back before taking a few steps across the room while removing my wet clothes.
My exasperating roommate undresses silently, but he doesn't approach me. He just stares at me in silence while I try to sort through my thoughts. Except no matter how hard I try, I can't control myself—nothing makes sense or follows logic since Player wormed his way into my head.
I finally stop moving, my gaze fixed on this man who turns my mind and body inside out. "What do you want from me, Player?"
He stares at me in silence, his gaze locked with mine. I feel all my self-control abandoning me. I no longer want to play games or hide what I'm feeling. I'm tired, and I continue, "Do you want me to tell you that I want you? Is that it? That I admit I've lost?"
It suddenly seems like the best way to put an end to this game he started between us. I approach him, and he lowers his head to maintain eye contact with me. My hand rises without me even thinking about it, and my index finger presses against his chest."Yes, I want you."
I swallow with difficulty, my face and body burning. All the frustration that's been building since I met Player expresses itself in this moment. The flood is too powerful to be stopped, and I don't even try to hold anything back.
"What do you want?" Player asks, his voice husky.
As I look at him, a series of images flashes through my mind. In each scenario, Player is ravaging me, like a scene from the dark side of the internet. I bite my lower lip, unable to admit out loud what my body is already expressing.
"Dixie," Player growls, as if reading my thoughts.
The fact that he uses my first name in such a vulnerable moment seems to change everything, because the words escape my lips before I can hold them back:
"I want you to fuck me, in every way you can imagine. There, you won. That's what you wanted to hear from the beginning, right?"
He doesn't answer. A wild gleam shines in his eyes while I feel like I'm approaching spontaneous combustion.
I take a step back, utterly defeated. "You have your victory, you can leave now."
I lower my head so I don't have to look at him.
He's won the game, just as he predicted.
Checkmate. I'm knocked out, floored by a man with explosive sex appeal and arrogance that's through the roof.
I never would have imagined falling for a guy like him, yet the evidence is undeniable: my body burns when Player is around, and even when he's not. ..
"Dixie, look at me."
His voice is warm when he addresses me, it slides over my skin leaving a trail of shivers behind. I'm angry at myself for feeling this guilty desire. I should reject this guy because he represents everything I hate in a man. He's insufferable, full of himself, his arrogance is unmatched.
Player moves toward me, and I close my eyes to resist the temptation to devour him with my gaze. I feel his breath on my cheek when he leans in:
"I'm not as cruel as you think."
Without even thinking, my eyelids open, and his brown eyes immediately capture mine.
"I'm going to fuck you so hard your body will remember me for days."
My breath catches in my throat, and I barely hold back a moan.
But who is the girl making this noise, really? I don't even recognize myself anymore. Every word Player utters affects me as much as if he'd touched me, to the point where it becomes unbearable.
I need to pull myself together!
When I respond, my voice betrays my bitterness. "You're talking like you're doing me a favor, but I don't need your pity, Player. We played, I lost. End of story. There was never any question of actually going through with it."
A growl close to a roar escapes Player's throat a brief moment before he lunges at me. His body impacts mine with such violence that I stagger and would fall if it weren’t for his powerful arms, which now surround me.
He claws my asscheek with one hand, while with the other, he grasps my neck, immobilizing me against him.
My chest crushes against his torso and I feel the hardness in his pants.
"We're going to fuck, Dixie, now."
"It sounds like a promise when you say it like that."
My voice lacks conviction, and at this moment, I wish I were different.
Yes, I wish I were a more mature woman who doesn't let herself be pushed around, one of those who makes Player hard, capable of shutting him down even in the most intimate situations, but I can't change reality.
I'm just Dixie Montgomery, a small-town girl discovering college life, about to cross a line I've never dared cross with any man.
"Stop thinking," Player orders me as if he were following my thoughts.
"I can't help it," I breathe. "It's stronger than me."
"I know what you need."
His gaze leaves mine to settle on my mouth.
There's no gentleness when he takes my lips for the first time.
He tastes them as if he were starving, and I feel something break inside me.
A barrier I'd carefully built between men and myself is shattering.
I know there will be no going back once this fire has consumed me, but I have no intention of interfering with the course of events.
Player's tongue slips into my mouth, obliterating my last thoughts.
He holds me against him as if he thinks I might pull away at any second, but I have no such intention.
I grip his neck, scratching it without mercy, provoking a growl from Player that reverberates all the way down to my belly and then to my sex, which throbs.
Player makes me back up until I'm pinned against the nearest wall, trapping me with his powerful body.
His hand leaves my ass to slip under the wet fabric of my dress, and I moan into his mouth when he cups my breast. The taut peak rolls between his fingers, sending tingles of pleasure throughout my body.
I arch my back, pressing my pelvis against his, searching for the erection I felt moments ago.
Without thinking, I slide my hand between us and press against his cock through his pants.
Player stops kissing me and rests his forehead against mine. "Fuck, Dixie, you're driving me crazy. "
Our gazes are locked together. I believe if Player's body weren't pressing against mine, I wouldn't have the strength to stand.
My blood feels like it's boiling, I'm hot and cold at the same time, shivering and trembling.
I've dreaded this moment so many times in the past, but nothing prepared me for this wave of incandescent desire burning me from within.
Player's fingers abandon my breast to travel down my stomach, and I hold back a moan when he pushes my dress up my legs. My thighs part on their own, opening the way to my pussy. I don't know where my dignity has gone, but I doubt I'll ever find it again. Not after falling for Player.
He doesn't add another word, but he stares at me intensely.
I'm unable to hold his ardent gaze, and my eyelids close the instant Player's fingers take possession of my body.
Yes, that's what he's doing: claiming the prize of his victory.
And I'm letting him, completely defeated. But he stops almost immediately:
"Open your eyes, Dixie."
My body obeys him, and instantly his eyes lock with mine.
Only then do his fingers resume their advance, and I bite my lip to keep from making a sound.
Player has the confidence of someone who knows what he's doing, and he enters me with a deep thrust. My mouth forms an O as I discover the unprecedented sensations he's creating in my belly.
The pleasure is so powerful that I even forget my desire to caress Player, but he doesn't seem to notice. He continues to touch me where no one ever has, and I love it. Really.
The sensations overwhelm me, flood my body, it's an enormous tornado sweeping through my being, and I let myself be carried away. In this turmoil, I'm only able to cling to Player's body.
His hand wraps around my throat before moving up to my mouth. His thumb presses against my lips without any gentleness, and I surprise myself by licking the pad of his finger. Player's breath catches in his throat, his gaze grows even darker, and I realize that I'm affecting him too.
A spark of joy ignites in my chest. I please him more than he's willing to admit.
His fingers speed up, building a wave of unprecedented power within me. My legs tremble, and I feel like I'm about to lose my footing when he stops.
Player doesn't take his eyes off me as he withdraws his hand from my sex. I stifle the grunt of frustration threatening to escape my throat.
Without warning, he detaches himself from me. He takes a few steps back while staring at me, then, with a nod of his chin, he points to the living room couch. "Lie down and show me how you like to pleasure yourself."
I blink several times, furrow my brow, and finally shake my head slowly.
"Dixie," he growls, "do what I tell you."
I stammer when I answer, "I... I can't."
"Don't make me undress you and lay you down myself."
"You don't understand."
My voice is too weak, and besides being angry at myself for capitulating to Player, I'm disappointed in myself for appearing so fragile.
Player observes me through his eyelashes, as if trying to determine whether I'm telling the truth. His voice is cutting as he growls, "Explain."
I take a deep breath before confessing:
"I've never given myself pleasure."
A long silence passes between us during which he continues to stare at me. I don't know what he's thinking; perhaps he believes I'm lying? Unfortunately, it's the absolute truth .
"Then show me how other guys have done it."
Automatically, I cross my arms over my chest while pressing my lips together. The advantage of this conversation is that my desire is starting to ebb a little; the disadvantage is that my shame is skyrocketing.
The best defense being offense, I blurt out, "Why? Do you need an instruction manual?"
I punctuate my remark with a small mocking laugh, even though I'm far from feeling that confident.
"So the great Player isn't as skilled as he claims to be," I say ironically.
A savage gleam passes over his face, and I understand that he's going to snap any moment now.
"Stop provoking me, Alabama."
We're back to my nickname.
"You lost," he adds, "so you do what I ask."
"But I can't! That's the thing."
He frowns, skeptical. "You mean you don't want to."
Suddenly, I decide to drop the bomb I've been holding in for so long, certain that it will put an end to the madness that's playing out in our apartment's living room. Because I know what Player's reaction will be, and even though I dread it, I can no longer stay silent:
"I've never slept with a man, so I couldn't do what you're asking even if I wanted to."