Player

29. Dixie

DIXIE

I put the finishing touches on the cake batter before sliding it into the oven. I can't wait for Bradley to try the new recipes I've learned.

"Your brother is really handsome," Saphya gushes. The girls are with us while Pia and I work in the kitchen.

"It's the uniform effect," Keri comments.

"He was in civilian clothes," Pia points out.

I wipe my hands before turning around. Keri shrugs. "Doesn't matter. Once you know he's military, your brain fills in the rest..."

"Do you know if he's single?" Saphya asks me.

I shrug. "I have no idea. He doesn't talk to me about his private life."

My friend eyes me suspiciously, and Saphya says, "I don't believe you. You two seem very close."

"And yet, I promise I don't have any info on his love life. He's very secretive and..."

Sonam's sudden entrance interrupts me. "Dixie! Come quick!"

His panicked expression convinces me to follow without question, but Saphya isn't as easily persuaded and peppers us with questions as she follows. "What's happening? Where are we going?"

I glance over my shoulder and see that all three of my friends are following us.

"It's Player and Bradley!" Sonam answers.

My heart skips a beat as a bad feeling washes over me. We reach the main entrance of our dorm and I see students gathered around a commotion. Sonam pushes his way through the crowd and I follow him, but I freeze when I see the scene unfolding before my eyes.

Bradley stands in a fighting stance, forearms raised to protect his face. Facing him, Player looks ready to lunge. His lower lip is split, with a trickle of blood running down his chin.

"Bradley! Player!"

My shout is lost in the excitement of the students who have gathered here. My brother lands a blow that hits Player in the ribs, and he retaliates, making my brother stagger backward.

I push my way out of the crowd to get between them.

"What are you doing! Stop it!"

Player's gaze passes over me, but he's in such a state of rage that he doesn't pay attention to me, so I turn to my brother. "Bradley, please!"

But he's no better than Player. He spits on the ground before addressing me through gritted teeth, "Move, Dixie."

I've never seen him like this. Anger seems to have possessed him. He's nothing like the Bradley I know—the one who's kind, sensitive, and thoughtful. The man standing before me is not the same person.

He steps around me to face Player again, and it doesn't take more than that for them to resume their fight. Without thinking, I step between them and grab my brother's arm to hold him back. He pushes me away violently, and Player's fist connects with my cheekbone .

I stumble as a cry escapes me, then collapse onto the lawn. The pain isn't as sharp as the humiliation I feel in that moment.

Player reacts first, approaching me. "Dixie!"

But Bradley pushes him away. "I think you've done enough damage."

It's Pia and Saphya who help me up. My brother and Player glare at each other.

"You're both idiots!" I shout.

Then I turn on my heel and walk away, supported by my two friends and Keri. On our way, we run into Thomas, our dorm monitor and resident advisor. He stops me when he sees my face marked by the blow and streaked with tears. I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"What happened?" he asks me.

I shake my head, unable to answer him, too shocked by the behavior of these two men who mean so much to me.

"We're on the second floor," Saphya informs him, with more presence of mind than me. " You can stop by anytime for us to explain everything, but right now, my friend needs to rest."

I can see that the RA isn't happy about letting me go, but his attention shifts to the group behind me, and he finally says, "I'll come by later. Take care of yourself and stop by the health center to have someone look at your cheek."

I bite my lower lip and nod, even though I have no intention of seeing the nurse. When I get back to the apartment, I collapse on the couch, my body shaking with sobs.

Keri brings me an ice pack; seeing that I don't react, Pia takes it and applies it to my face. I grimace and hiccup from the pain.

"You're going to have a nasty bruise," Saphya comments.

"It's a contusion," Keri explains in her typical clinical tone.

"I have good foundation," Pia reassures me. "I can cover that up in no time. "

I appreciate the efforts they're making to console me, but I'm in shock from what just happened. And not just because of the blow I took... I feel so humiliated!

My brother and my... my what, exactly? The only word that comes to mind regarding Player is asshole neighbor. And, at this moment, that perfectly sums up everything he represents to me.

"They really went at it," Pia whispers while brushing a strand of hair from my forehead. Our eyes meet and tears roll down my cheeks. My friend puts an arm around my shoulders to pull me closer to her.

"Men! Always having pissing contests!" Saphya exclaims. She starts pacing around the room under Keri's watchful gaze.

"I don't understand what got into them," she adds. "They don't even know each other!"

I think about the phone conversation I had with my brother a few days ago. I told him I was seeing someone. He must have made the connection. Then again, there aren't a thousand football players among my neighbors.

"OK, Player can be an ass when he wants to be," Saphya continues, "but to beat up your brother! That's completely idiotic, seriously!"

I catch Keri's eye and I realize she knows. I swallow before confessing, "Player and I have been sleeping together for weeks now."

Saphya freezes. She blinks several times, her jaw hanging open.

"Is it really that shocking?" I say with a grimace.

My friend composes herself. "No! Not at all! I just wasn't expecting it, that's all."

"I had a feeling," Pia whispers.

I turn my head toward her, stunned. She gives me a quick glance before lowering her head, her cheeks turning pink. " There's chemistry between you two. I saw it while you were posing for me, for my art project."

A silence falls over the room.

"What about you?" Saphya suddenly asks Keri. "Did you know?"

Keri gives me a glance before answering:

"I suspected it pretty quickly, then I got proof when?—"

I cut her off, "Please, don't say anymore. I really don't want to know that you caught us in the act."

"And yet..." For the first time since the semester started, she gives me a knowing smile.

And suddenly, I realize our pseudo-relationship wasn't a secret to anyone in this apartment. Well, except for Saphya who obviously is still struggling to wrap her head around the idea.

"So is it serious between you two?" she asks me.

I shake my head before wincing when the pain flares up in my cheekbone. "No, it wasn't."

But my heart twists when I say these words, causing a sting even sharper than that of my swollen flesh. It wasn't supposed to be more than sex between Player and me, but now that everything has gone off the rails, I realize I've been lying to myself.

I managed to blind myself until now, but it's no longer possible. Grief and disappointment mingle inside me, and the tears start flowing again.

How could the situation have spun so out of control?

A good hour later, Bradley reappears in the dorm. Keri left a few minutes ago, and I'm with Pia and Saphya.

My cake burned and a scorched smell fills our place. I think it's probably better this way, I'm not in the mood to eat sweets, and my brother doesn't deserve it. Neither does Player, for that matter!

Bradley stands ramrod straight near the stairwell door, but he avoids meeting my gaze.

"I have to get my things and leave campus, by order of the dean," he informs me.

Pia interjects, "Saphya and I will leave you two alone."

She gives a pointed look at our friend, who doesn't seem to want to leave. Pia finally takes Saphya's arm to lead her toward the exit.

"See you soon, Bradley," Saphya says in farewell.

My brother remains stone-faced as the stairwell door closes behind them with a bang.

"That guy isn't worth it," he finally declares. When I don't respond, he seeks out my gaze before exclaiming, "He's a huge jerk!"

"At least he doesn't pretend to be someone he's not."

Bradley stays silent, but I can tell I've hit a nerve.

"You think I didn't know?" I press. He stares at me, incredulous, and a little... disappointed? My heart tightens. "I never imagined I'd have to justify my romantic choices to you one day, Bradley."

"And I didn't know my little sister was a slut."

His words hit me more violently than Player's fist earlier. They strike me to the core of my heart.

"What did you expect from him?" he spits.

I straighten up to face him. "From him, I expected nothing, but from you on the other hand..."

A flash of doubt passes through his eyes.

"You're my brother, but that doesn't give you the right to choose who I sleep with," I hammer out.

I'm surprised I'm able to stand by my choices in front of my brother.

Despite the judgment he passes on me, on Player, and on what we were doing together, I can't bring myself to regret it.

The guilt has given way to something else and has for some time now.

What exactly? I couldn't say, but the result is clear, I'm ready to own what I did with Player.

Bradley adds nothing more. He heads to my room and goes inside. When he comes out loaded with his gear, I can't help but feel a flash of anger. "You're just going to leave like that?"

He freezes and turns his head toward me. "I'm sorry, Dixie Dix. I didn't want things to happen this way."

"You should have thought about that before you got into a fight with him."

Suddenly, I get the impression he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I feel compassion for him, but I can't let the harsh words he said to me slide. He went too far.

"He was disrespecting you," he adds.

"And that gave you permission to hit him? Is that what they teach you in the military?" He takes the blow stoically, but I continue, "Is that the education Mom and Dad gave you?"

This time, he fully turns to me, and his gaze is filled with pain when he answers, "We can see where their education has led us."

With that strange remark, he leaves the dorm, and I’m left… confused.