29. Kris
29
KRIS
I’ve been sitting in the same spot for the last hour, watching Kameron dance with all the bridesmaids and Ruby.
My brother sits beside me, his eyes only for his wife with a small tilt to his lips as he looks across the dance floor at her. I pick up my beer, take a drink before sitting it back on the table between us and clear my throat.
“I’m proud of you, Kaleb.”
His head slowly turns to look at me, and the moment turns emotional for a minute.
We normally don’t talk to each other like this, but I know he knows that I am proud of him, that I love him, and I’d do anything for him. And Ruby, too.
“Thanks, brother.” He sighs, reaching between us to tip his bottle against mine.
“You deserve happiness.” I look over to Kameron, she catches me staring and offers a soft smile.
“So do you, you know?”
I raise a brow, peeling my eyes off Kam to look at him.
“You can have this too, you know?”
“This isn’t for me.” I shake my head. “You know that. Nothing good comes of it, but I hope like hell it does for you,” I tell him honestly.
When we were little, I tried so hard to shoulder most of that shit. He didn’t deserve to feel as much as I did, and he was a little younger so things were different for him.
“Kris,” he turns to face me, leaning onto the table, “you aren’t like Mom or Dad. What they had was fucked up, everyone knows it. Hell, even they know it. You have got to let go of shit that happened years ago and quit letting it fuck with your life. A life that you could build with someone you love.” He pauses, looking toward the dance floor. “Someone like Kameron.”
His words might as well be a bag of bricks coming straight at my face. I lean back in my chair, my eyes widen, but I try like hell to pretend like they don’t affect me.
Things between me and Kameron feel good this week. Too fucking good. Which is why tomorrow is going to fucking suck ass when we go our separate ways. I’ll only have minimal contact with her until the Christmas Bazaar, and then I won’t have to be tempted by her anymore.
Therefore, the what-ifs that run through my head sometimes of me and her won’t happen either.
“Dance with me, husband.” Ruby appears next to the table, smiling down at my little brother, and taking his hand.
“I’d love to, wife, ” he drawls out the word, making her smile brighten her entire face.
I watch the two of them walk off to where she was just dancing with all the girls. Kameron isn’t out there, so I’m assuming she’s went to the bathroom and will be back in a few minutes.
The seat my brother was just in is suddenly occupied by my mother, and I grunt.
“Mom,” I sigh.
“Son,” she mimics my same attitude, and I fight to not roll my eyes. “We need to talk.”
“Kinda busy here.” I take another pull of my beer.
“Ah, yes. Looking for Kameron on the dancefloor, the same thing you’ve been doing for the last hour.” She scoots her chairs to the side of the table so that we’re side by side now. “We need to talk, and this seems to be the only time I can get you alone.”
I smirk. The plan is working then.
Or, well, it was until she found her opening that is.
“I want things to be better between us, son. I want you to get to know Brian, and I want to see you regularly, talk on the phone, get updates about your life.”
I stay silent, my eyes trained on the dance floor as I wait for Kameron to re-appear.
“I know you are upset with me about things that happened in the past, but Kris, you really need to let that go.”
My head snaps toward her so fast, she nearly jumps back. “I need to let things go? Really, Mom? You practically abandoned us just like Dad did. The day he left, you might as well have packed a bag, too.”
Her hand goes to her chest. “Kris, that’s not fair. I was depressed, my life seemed like it was ending. I was heartbroken, ” she begs me to understand, but I just can’t.
“Mom,” I laugh, sarcastically, “you had two children at home who loved you more than he ever fucking could have. And you left to work multiple jobs and you were never around. I’m the one who fed Kaleb every night. I’m the one who got him ready for school. I’m the one who made sure he did his homework. I’m the one that did it all.” I lean forward so she has no choice but to stare me in my eyes when I say this last part. “And I made a promise to myself all those years ago, that I would NEVER get married if it meant I’d end up miserable like you.”
Her eyes soften, and her face falls. “Oh, Kristopher. No.” She shakes her head. “You can’t live your life alone just because of what happened with me and your dad.”
I lean back in my chair and run a hand down my face, trying to reel some of my emotions back in. The last thing I want to do today is cause a scene at Kaleb and Ruby’s wedding.
“Mom, it’s done. Stop trying to make things work. It won’t.” I stand from my seat, pushing it back with enough force that a few heads turn to look at me.
When I look down at my mother once more, I’m surprised to see her not embarrassed by my outburst, but broken.
That almost pulls at something in me, but I tamp it down and head in search of Kameron.
All the events for the night are done, other than seeing the two of them off, but I can’t stay here anymore.
I’m turning the corner to where the bathrooms are, and Kameron runs right into my chest.
“Sorry,” she yelps, her gorgeous emerald eyes come to mine and a smile appears. “Oh.” She leans forward then pauses. “What’s wrong?”
My chest feels fuzzy that she knows something is wrong just by looking at me. I’ve become a mask over the years, but never with her. She reads right through it every fucking time.
“You ready?” I ask, and her eyes widen. “I’ve watched you in this fucking dress all night long. I’m ready to get you back to the mountain and in bed.” I lean forward, brushing my lips across her cheek before moving to her ears to whisper, “With nothing but those heels on.”
When I pull back, she studies me for a minute but nods her head. “Let’s go say bye to Ruby and your brother.”
I follow Kameron through the crowd. Some are still dancing the night away as the DJ plays all the popular party songs that get everyone moving. Ruby and Kaleb are near the bar, so we head in their direction.
“Hey, you two.” Ruby smiles and greets us. “It’s been the best day of my life.” She looks over to Kaleb and smiles. “Thank you for being here, Kris. It means a lot to me.”
“No worries.” I let go of Kameron’s hand and give Ruby a hug, before moving to my brother. “I love you, enjoy your honeymoon. Call me when you get back.”
He wants to ask me what’s wrong, I can see it, but instead he leaves it alone and hugs me back, promising to call.
“It was so nice to meet you, Kam. Stay in touch, please,” Ruby tells Kameron as they hug and say their goodbyes.
Once my fingers are tangled with Kameron’s again, some of the anxiety I was feeling earlier settles. With her by my side, it doesn’t even ramp up when we pass my mother’s table.
And that fuzzy feeling is back when she doesn’t acknowledge them either.