Chapter 20
Asher
People swarm around me, but I’m fixated on getting the fuck back to everyone. Back to her.
“Asher!” A reporter shoves her mic in my face before I’m about to break free. “Is it true what they're saying, that you and Ivy are finally an item?”
Out of all the fucking things she could ask, she asks that.
I shove past her without answering, swimming through the fans until a line breaks out. Atlas is grinning near the city car, with Punk tucked beneath his arm. I already know he's going to say some shit. I haven't exactly hidden the fact that Ivy is all up on my shit lately.
“Ash!” Camille calls out, but I ignore her, walking straight past.
I don't spare Camille a glance as I stride toward Ivy, who's standing near the SUV with her arms crossed, fur-trimmed hood framing her face. Her eyes track my approach, dark and unreadable.
I reach her and my arm slides around her shoulders, pulling her into my side with enough force that she stumbles against me.
“What are you—”
“Getting in the car.” My voice comes out rougher than I intend.
I guide her toward the open door, hyperaware of the reporter's camera swiveling in our direction. Good. Let them fucking watch.
Ivy's body tenses beneath my arm, but she doesn't pull away. The scent of her shampoo—something citrus and sharp—cuts through the cold mountain air.
“Asher.” Camille's voice hits a pitch that makes my jaw clench. “We need to talk about—”
“Not now.”
I help Ivy into the SUV, my hand dropping to the small of her back as she climbs in. The touch burns through layers of fabric, through skin, straight to something I refuse to name.
Turning to Camille, I lower my voice so only she and I can hear. “If you know what's good for you, you'd get in the other car and shut the fuck up about it.”
She doesn't argue, fixing her face and turning on her heels to the other car.
Luce and Jord climb in through the other side as Atlas slips in beside Punk.
He grins. “Well, that was subtle.”
The door shuts as I slide in beside Ivy, muffling the chaos on the other side. Will Camille make a shitshow out of this? No. She's smarter than that. But Parker… well.
“You couldn't have handled that differently?” Ivy growls softly. Her thigh presses against mine in the cramped space, and neither of us moves away.
I bare my teeth. “No.”
Her eyes flash. “So what, I'm your prop now? Your way of—”
“You think that's what this is?” I turn to face her fully, and the air between us charges. “You think I give a fuck about optics?”
“Then what was that?” She gestures toward the window, where camera flashes still strobe in the distance.
I glare at her. “That was me done pretending.”
Atlas makes a choking sound. Punk elbows him hard enough to make him grunt. Jord and Luce sit quietly, watching us go back and forth as if they missed a chapter.
Ivy's breath catches. I watch her throat work as she swallows, and my fingers itch to trace the column of it.
“Done pretending what, exactly?” her eyes narrow. “Because if you haven't forgotten, I'm married!”
I wave her comment off with a scoff, unable to take her and Parker's bullshit marriage seriously.
She laughs, but it's not the kind I want. “Ah, I see, so we fuck and now you think you can piss all over me?”
Jord chokes on his drink.
“I knew it!” Luce squeals.
Atlas is probably drilling holes into my head.
“For the record, Venom?” I seethe, a thread away from fucking her stupid in front of everyone just to make my point. “You were mine before I had my dick in you.”
She pulls away from me, annoyed, as Daniel starts the engine. His eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror and for a moment, it's just him and I.
Shaking my head, I chuckle. “What I don't fucking get is why the fuck you care so much.”
Silence.
“You couldn't even begin to imagine why, Ash.” There's no fight in her tone, just exhaustion. “You don't—” She breaks off, jaw clenching. “Parker is going to lose his mind.”
“Good.”
Her pupils dilate, and for a moment, I think she might hit me. Or kiss me. The line between the two has never been thinner.
“You can't do this.” Her voice shakes now, fury and fear mixing. “You can't just decide—”
“Watch me.”
“You arrogant piece of—”
“Say it.” I lean closer, my voice dropping to something that makes everyone look away. “Tell me you don't want this. Tell me last night meant nothing. Tell me you'd rather go back to pretending he doesn't make your skin crawl.”
Her breath comes faster. “That's not fair.”
“Nothing about this is fair!”
The car takes a turn too fast, and Ivy's hand shoots out, gripping my thigh to steady herself. She doesn't remove it.
We pull through 888 Veilarath Lane, and for a moment, I'm flashed back to the first time we came here when she first signed the deed. Feels like a lifetime ago now. Too much has happened.
Daniel pulls the car out the front and Ivy wastes no time flying out, jogging up the steps toward the front door.
Jord slips out with Punk, but Luce hovers, her hand on the door. “Just so you know, Asher, there's a lot about her that you can't even comprehend to know.”
Pause.
I hold her stare. Luce is attractive, but more than that, she's smart. Always attentive. Loyal.
She clears her throat. “What you're doing is putting her in direct line of danger and if you're not careful,” she pauses, her face softening. “You'll lose her forever.”
Then she's gone and it's just me and Atlas.
Atlas kicks my shin, leaning forward on his forearms. “And how the fuck is this helpful?”
My jaw clenches. Okay fuck. So maybe I went off the rails a bit there, but I didn't kiss her. I didn't fucking answer shit. I just left my fiancée behind because she annoys the shit out of me.
I crack my neck. “Camille. I don't know how long I can do this fucking shit with her.”
Atlas searches my face. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I just said,” I snap, annoyed with him for the hundredth time since being here.
“You know why she has to remain,” Atlas says, voice harder. “You know why you can't let that shit happen again.”
I drag my hand over my cheek, fatigue setting in. “I know, but I just don't care as much as I should.”
Atlas doesn't say another word as we exit the car. He knows when to push and when to back the fuck off, and right now, I'm done talking.
My boots crunch against gravel as I veer away from the main house, heading straight for the pool house.
The structure glows warm against the darkening sky, floor-to-ceiling windows revealing the heated pool's steam rising into frigid air.
It's my sanctuary here—two bedrooms, a lounge, and enough distance from everyone else that I can breathe.
I shove through the door, already peeling off my jacket.
And freeze.
Ivy sits on my bed, knees drawn to her chest, still wearing that ridiculous fur-lined coat. Her face is buried in her arms, shoulders curved inward like she's trying to make herself disappear.
The door clicks shut behind me.
She lifts her head, and fuck—her eyes are red-rimmed. Not crying, not exactly, but close enough that something violent twists in my chest.
“What are you doing here?” My voice comes out harsher than I mean.
“I don't know.” She laughs, but it's brittle. Broken. “I don't know what I'm doing anywhere.”
I toss my jacket over the back of the couch, moving closer. The room feels too small suddenly, too warm. “Ivy—”
“Don't.” She holds up a hand. “Don't do that thing where you try to fix it. You can't fix this.”
I stop at the foot of the bed, jaw working. “Then tell me what this is.”
“This?” She gestures between us, the movement jerky. “This is a disaster waiting to happen. This is me being stupid enough to think—” She breaks off, shaking her head. “We can't do this, Asher.”
There it is. The words I knew were coming but still hit like a fist to the gut.
“Bullshit.”
“It's not bullshit!” She scrambles off the bed, putting distance between us. Her coat falls open, revealing the black thermal underneath that clings to every curve. “You don't get it. You don't understand what you're asking me to risk.”
I close the distance she created, because I'm done with space between us. Done with her running. “Then explain it to me.”
“I can't!” Her voice cracks. “That's the point. I can't tell you, and you can't fix it, and we can't—” She presses her palms to her eyes. “God, why did you have to do that today?”
My hands itch to touch her, to pull her against me and make her forget every reason she's listing. “Because I'm tired of pretending I don't want you.”
“Want.” She drops her hands, and the look she gives me makes me shiver. “That's all this is to you? Want?”
I move closer, backing her toward the window. “You know it's more than that.”
“No, I don't!” She plants her hands on my chest, but doesn't push. Just holds them there, fingers splaying over my heartbeat. “Because you won't say it. You won't say anything real, you just—you touch me and look at me and act like that's enough.”
Heat crawls up my spine. Her touch burns through my shirt, searing into skin. “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to stop!” The words burst out of her, desperate. “I want you to stop making me feel things I can't afford to feel. I want you to stop looking at me like—like—”
“Like what?”
Her breath comes faster. “Like you'd burn the whole world down just to keep me.”
“I would.”
The confession hangs between us, raw and vicious. Her pupils dilate, lips parting on an exhale that sounds like surrender.
“Don't say that.” Her voice drops to barely a whisper. “Please don't say things like that.”
“Why?” I cage her against the glass, hands braced on either side of her head. The pool's glow illuminates her, turning her into something holy and damned all at once. “Because you might believe me?”
“Because I already do.” The admission seems to hurt her. “And that terrifies me more than anything Parker could ever do.”
Parker. His name on her lips makes me want to break something.
“He doesn't deserve you.”