Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
DORI
Hunter hands me a new cell phone. “Here, this is for you. It’s one of those burner kind. That way, you can just return to your old number when you’re ready.”
I’ve been locked in his library all morning, trying to get my thoughts together. I rise from a chair that sits in front of the fireplace to my feet. The fluffy sage-colored blanket I was snuggled in drifts to the floor.
“Thanks. I appreciate it, but I might ask you to get me a new one altogether. I’m not sure I want my old number.”
“Whatever you decide. I can have someone bring over a new one immediately.” He slides his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t want you to do anything rash, which is why I started with that phone, but if you?—”
“No. This is perfect. If I change my mind, I’ll let you know.” I glance around his well-stocked bookshelves. “This room is kind of comforting.”
He cocks his head to the side. “Huh. You seem to have a thing for libraries.”
“What do you mean I have a thing for…”
He’s talking about his bathtub. The bathroom has a library feel to it .
I step to the side and try to come up with something to say. I can’t get into a conversation with Hunter about our relationship. There’s too much for me to process.
“Dorothy, turn around and look at me.”
I do as he asks because his voice is commanding. “Hunter?—”
He marches over to me and takes my chin in his hand.
He turns my head and stares at my cheek. “What is this?”
I raise my hand and run my fingers over the fresh scratches. “She hit me. I think she got me with her fingernails.”
“That’s exactly what happened.” He analyzes the mark more closely. “It’s bruising. We need to get an antibiotic on it or it could scar.”
“I was going to ask you last night for some, but I forgot.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice.”
“My hair was down and covering it. You probably only saw it today because I pulled up my hair to keep it from sticking to the wound.”
“Let’s get this cleaned up.” He takes my hand and leads me downstairs. “I can’t believe he let her hit you and didn’t stop to take care of you.”
Tears spout again, causing Hunter to stop before we get to the bathroom and take me in his arms. I silently weep in his embrace.
How can he be so understanding with me? In the past, this would’ve had him seeing red.
A minute passes and I push out of his arms. “Hunter, I can’t imagine watching your ex-girlfriend cry over someone else feels very good. I can go home if it would be easier for you.”
His eyes twitch but then soften. “I don’t want you to leave and deal with this alone. Let me be the judge of how much I can take. ”
I glance down and nod. “Okay. I’ll trust you to let me know if you want me to leave.”
He lifts my chin and peers into my eyes with gentle love. “It won’t happen, so stop thinking it will. You can stay here as long as you need.”
“Thank you. You’ll never understand how much this means to me. My brain is so mixed up, I don’t know which way to turn.”
“I know the feeling and want to be here for you. Let me take care of you until you figure out which way you want to go.” He tips his head toward the bathroom. “But first, we need to get this cleaned up.”
We go into the bathroom, where he sits me on his quartz counter. He washes my cuts with hydrogen peroxide and a topical antibiotic salve while asking me about my feelings.
He’s not prying. He’s genuinely concerned about my mental state. His nurturing warms my heart.
I don’t know where the guy on the edge of rage whenever we discussed Jamison went, but I’m not complaining.
“Hunter, can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“How long have you been seeing a therapist?”
He shrugs and throws away some dirty tissues. “I went a few times after you slept with Jamison. It was sporadic, though, so I don’t count it. I started getting serious when you told me you were going to explore a friendship with him. I wanted to understand your needs better. Why?”
“You just seem more in control of your anger.”
“Why do you say that?”
I shrug. “For one, when you got upset last night, you left me alone so you could calm down. You wouldn’t have done that in the past.”
“And?”
I push myself off the counter. “We would’ve been in a huge fight. One that would’ve probably left me doubting you. Then, earlier this morning, when I left the room crying, you didn’t chase me. I thought you would, but you didn’t.”
He steps back and studies me. “Did you want me to?”
“No. I was just surprised you didn’t.” I walk toward the opening of the bathroom. “I think therapy is helping you.”
He follows me out of the room, switching off the lights as we leave. “I’ll take that as a compliment then.”
“You should.”
He guides me upstairs and shows me to a guest room at the end of the hall that spreads the width of the upper area. It’s bigger than my loft. I turn to say something, but he shushes me and tells me to enjoy the space.
“I had my assistant take care of everything you should need. There are clothes in the closet and a journal on the desk if you want it.” He points to a simple, light gray desk near a large window. “She should be back from your apartment soon with the belongings you requested.”
“You got me a journal?”
“I thought you might want to write down your thoughts.” He strolls over to it with a pensive expression. “My therapist has me write and it helps. If you want, give it a shot. If not, I’ll use it when mine is full.”
He flips through the pages and then runs his fingers over the front. I join him to look at the light gray cover. Across the top in gold writing it says, Musing of The Day.
I pick up the journal and head to the four-post canopy bed that reminds me of the beds in the hotel we use when we’re at board meetings. I crawl into the center of the mattress and get ready to write.
Before I do, I peek up. “Thanks, Hunter. Once again, your thoughtfulness is more than I deserve.”
“Nonsense.” He tosses me a gentle smile. Something tender passes in his eyes.
My chest warms. “What?”
“The way you’re sitting right now reminded me of how you looked that first night we were together. I was just taking a minute to bask in the memory.” He pulls in a deep breath and starts to leave. “You left your phone in the other room, so I’ll grab it and bring it to you.”
He’s gone before I have a chance to respond.
I open the journal and gaze at the blank pages, but I don’t have a pen, so I get off the bed to search through the nightstands. I take a moment to scan my surroundings.
The light gray-colored furniture is a sleek designer brand. There are two nightstands, an armoire, a dresser, a desk and chair, and a table with two chairs near a balcony.
A dozen pink roses sit on the table, and there’s a canopy bed with a sheer drape floating across the top. In the corner is a gas fireplace.
The room has light pink accents throughout, creating a gentle, feminine feel—nothing like Hunter’s masculine mahogany decor.
Did he decorate this room for me?
Something tells me he did.
Just as that crosses my mind, someone knocks on the door.
“Come in.”
The door opens and Hunter steps back in. “Here’s your phone. You might want to call Aiden.”
He holds it out to me, so I take it. “You’re right, but what makes you say that?”
“Jamison called. He’s searching all over for you. When hanging up the phone, he mentioned something about Aiden enlisting the help of the FBI if he couldn’t reach you.”
I suck in a breath, then bite my lower lip. I knew Jamison would search for me, but the fact he and Hunter spoke puts me on the verge of tears again.
“Aiden would do that, so I’ll call him in a minute.” I lean against one of the bedposts. “What did you tell Jami?”
“I told him you went on your holiday vacation a week earlier than planned and will be back in the office after the start of the New Year.”
Hunter’s gaze dials in on me for a second. “I didn’t tell him you were here or that I’d seen you. As far as he knows, you disappeared from his apartment and no one knows where you are. If you want me to let him know you’re here, I will.”
An iron wall goes up in my chest. “No. I don’t want him to know where I am. As long as he knows I’m alive and safe, he has no right to know anything else.”
“Then your secret is safe with me. But can I ask why you don’t want him to know?”
“Because he’ll demand to speak to me. I’m not ready to hear his excuses. I mean, what reason can he have? It’s not like you can just sweep this under the rug. Hunter, it’s his son. He has or had a fiancée. Why would he think that’s okay to keep from me?”
Hunter tilts his head and slides his hands into his pockets. “I don’t know, but there might be a good explanation.”
“And what would that be? Those two facts are huge. It’s not like he didn’t want to tell me he had sex with some woman. He proposed to Lauren. They have a child. How could he ever believe that wasn’t important information for me to have? It’s at the top of the list of things I’d want to know.”
Hunter stares at me stoned-faced, but wildness spins in his eyes. He knows something.
My gaze narrows. “What do you know about this?”
He shakes his head. “I’m not getting involved. It’ll only backfire if I do. When you’re ready to speak to him, you’ll hear it from him. Not me.”
I grit my teeth, wanting to pound on Hunter’s chest and force him to tell me, but he’s right. The explanation needs to come from Jami.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to pull you into this. You’re already doing more than you should.” I turn and go back to the bed .
As I’m climbing into the middle of the luxurious mattress, Hunter walks to the door. He peeks over his shoulder and his gaze drops as he stops himself from saying something.
He takes a breath. “If you need anything, text. I’ve got to go into the office for a bit, but I’ll return soon.”
He closes the door and I’m left to twist in confusion. Hunter not saying what’s on his mind is odd, but I can’t overthink his actions. I need to focus on figuring out this situation myself. But first, I need to call Aiden or he will send out a search team for me.
I dial his number and wait.
“Aiden Fisher speaking.”
“Hi, Aiden. It’s me, Dori.” I fiddle with the edge of a light pink throw on my bed.
“Hey there. What number are you calling from?”
“I have a new phone, at least for a little while. My other phone is acting funny, so I took it in to get it fixed. That’s why I’m calling. I wanted to let you know I’m doing okay and tell you how you can reach me if needed.”
He releases a heavy sigh. “Thanks for that. I was going to call you tonight. Jami said you took an early vacation and that he couldn’t reach you. He has some work thing he needs your help with, so call him after this.”
My throat tightens. Not going to happen, and I need to prevent Aiden from giving Jami this number.
“I’m on vacation until the New Year. If he needs something, he can email.”
“That’s an unusual response coming from you. You usually love talking to him. What’s going on with you two?”
My eyes burn, but I breathe through the threatening tears. “I’m just tired and stressed out. I won’t be working over the holidays unless my bosses call. Other than them, I only want to speak to you and Melanie. I need a break from everyone else, so I’d appreciate it if you kept this number to yourself.”
“Do what you need to get your head on straight. I’ll let Jami know you’ll see him after your vacation if he calls again. And speaking of next year…”
My insides wrench. “Yes?”
“I’m going back undercover on the first. Let’s plan to speak before then.” Someone says something to him in the background. “Dori, I’m at headquarters and they need me. I’ll call you later. Love you, sis.”
“I love you too.”
We hang up and I’m grateful for the brief call. After I find a pen inside the desk drawer, I settle in and journal for a while. I try remembering everything that happened last night, but my mind is hazy.
From what I can gather, Jami and this Lauren woman have a son. They must have been engaged, but Jami broke it off since he asked for the ring back. However, Lauren won’t return it, so the breakup is obviously causing this reaction in her.
Jami would never turn a cold shoulder to someone in pain, but she was hitting us. He even said something about her doing it before last night, so why would he hold her?
Confusion and agony settle in every cell in my body. The only thing I’m clear on is how hurt I am that Jami would keep this from me. If he loved me like he said, he would’ve told me this long ago.
After many tears and no answers, I grab the pink throw off the bed and wrap it around my shoulders as I mosey out to the breathtaking balcony that connects to a rooftop terrace. It’s covered, so there’s no snow on the ground.
Jami must not trust me like I thought he did. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have lied or hidden his son from me. I shrink into myself, feeling small and worthless.
Why wouldn’t he have said something to me when he found out I was pregnant?
But I was avoiding him.
However, he always wants me to share my deepest feelings and thoughts, so why won’t he do the same? The only obvious thing is that I can’t be with Jami now, not after he lied about this for months.
My heart’s broken, but I’ve got to move on. I plan to spend the next two weeks mourning my loss and after that, I’ll return to work with a renewed focus. I’ll force myself into metal armor to protect all parts of me from his deceit.
Walking away will be hard when I have to see him almost every day, but it’s what has to be done. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop loving him, but this betrayal is too much for me to accept. My only question now is why.
Why would he keep something like this from me?
I fall to my knees and weep into my hands.
Do I mean so little to him? And will I ever be able to move on completely?
My life’s in turmoil and I can’t see any way out.