Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
DORI
The morning light pokes at my eyelids and I groan.
I rub away the sleep from the corners of my eyes as I roll away from the sunlight beaming in. I have a terrible hangover.
Serves me right.
Reality washes over me as the last couple of days smack me in the face. The pain in my head is tiny compared to the agony that barrels into my heart. I instantly want to escape the living nightmare I’m stuck in.
Why, Jami? Why?
I lie in bed and hold in a few tears. There’s a hole in my soul so deep I can barely breathe. I sit up and look for something to give me an ounce of hope I’ll make it through Jami’s devastating blow. But nothing can make what I’m going through better.
Not able to face anyone right now, I pull out my journal and try to process my thoughts about the situation.
My pen hovers over the paper. For reasons I don’t understand, my mind wanders back to our night together in the cabin.
He stands naked before where I sit, satiated on the edge of the bed. The clouds cover the moon, so I can only make out his silhouette.
He gently runs his fingers through my hair, then grabs it in a fist, tilting my face to his. “You make me wild, temptress. I want you to know just how out of my mind I get when I think of you this way.”
I try to find his gaze through the darkness as heat comes off him in waves. He bends over and presses his lips to mine.
He kisses me with soft strokes of his tongue. Even though he’s directing and commanding everything between us, he still cares for me as if I’m a delicate flower. He releases my hair and caresses the side of my face, moaning into my mouth.
My heart releases a million loving musical notes that float throughout my body and have me swaying in response. He runs his tongue over my bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth.
I shiver. My nipples tighten, and I arch my back, showing him what I want.
He peels himself away. “All in due time. I need something from you first.”
My heart speeds up and my cheeks heat. “What’s that?”
“I’ve been pleasing you for hours, so it’s time I fuck that pretty little mouth of yours. Those pouty lips are too much.” With his tone low, he takes my hand and pulls me up. “Get on your knees and give me what I’ve missed all these years.”
Adrenaline fills my blood, knowing he’s been thinking about me giving him head. I want nothing more than to please him. We’ve been going at it for a while and I’ve come multiple times. He hasn’t come once.
I don’t know how he’s holding himself together, but maybe giving him the best blow job ever will push him over the edge.
I descend to my knees as our gazes stay locked together. At least as much as we can see in the dark.
When I’m lined up right, I lick my lips and place his stiff shaft in my palm, pumping him at a slow speed. I can barely get my hand around him, so I’m hoping my teeth don’t nick him. Not only that, but he’s longer than I’ve ever had.
I hope he likes gagging noises.
“That’s my girl. Just like that.” He thrusts his hips forward. “You have a minute to get used to the idea, then your lips better be sliding my cock between them.”
I want to please him. “Get ready, Jami. You’re about to get more than you bargained for.”
He laughs all raw and throaty. “Awe, my little temptress. What promises you make.”
I wrap my lips around his shaft and roll my tongue over the tip. His salty pre-cum coats the top of his head.
“Mmm,” I moan.
I take him deeper, grabbing his ass for leverage. I let the saliva pool in my mouth so I can do this to perfection. My cheeks hollow out as I suck him hard.
“Fuck…just like that.” He pushes into my mouth.
I pull back to the tip and move my spit to the center of my tongue so it’s a pool of wetness around his thick, veiny cock. My lips, moist with my desire, slide effortlessly down.
He jerks as I suck and groan. I’m ready to show him what I’ve got.
When he hits the back of my throat, I inhale deeply through my nose, knowing I won’t be able to breathe for a moment.
His fingers weave into my hair in anticipation. “Take it all the way down.”
I do exactly that. I position my head to make room and guide him until he’s balls deep down my throat.
“That’s my sweet temptress. Fuck, just like that.”
My gag reflex kicks in right as he tries to go deeper. I have to push away for a second. My heart flutters rapidly as I try to catch my breath.
Wetness coats my lips between my legs. I’m about ready to reach down to give myself some friction, but don’t. Jami’s been focused on me without anything for himself. It’s his turn.
Determined to get him to his release, I go in for the kill. I suck him in and out of my mouth. Up and down until I can’t see straight. Power and pride fill me to the core.
I wrap my lips around my teeth so I don’t get him with my teeth and then let loose. Over and over, slobber spilling from the corners of my mouth as my eyes water .
I groan and the vibrations of the sound meet with the tip of his cock as he drives deeper. I gag again, but keep going. He pumps into my mouth like he can’t get enough. This continues for a while as we both grunt and moan our delight.
“Dori, fuck!”
I squeeze his ass, warning him I’m going to deep-throat him. His hand grips the back of my head. He slides so far down my throat that my eyes almost cross.
“I don’t want to come this way.” He fists my hair and pulls it as he shifts his hips away from me.
My heart shrinks as he glides out of my mouth. I’m still sucking as hard as I can, so when he pulls out, there’s a loud pop.
With watery eyes, I gaze up at him. Even in the dark, I can tell his eyes are wild with want.
“Get on the bed.” He pulls me up by the arms. I start to turn to climb on, but he stops me. “No. I want you on your back.”
I sit on the edge of the mattress and work myself into the middle. All the while, he strokes himself. His breath is heavy and unsteady.
“Spread your legs.” His voice strains as he works for control.
I’m on my back, resting on my forearms, and do as he asks.
“You’re such a good girl.” He climbs over me, hooking my legs in the crooks of his arms. “This is going to be deep. Tell me if it gets to be too much.”
My heart stampedes. I’m so wet and ready, I don’t see how it will be a problem.
“Say it, Dori, or I’ll wait.” He situates himself so my knees are bent over my torso and he’s pressing right on my opening.
“I’ll let you know if it gets to be too much, but I’m ready for you. Please, Jami. Don’t wait anymore.” I wrap my arms under my knees and give him all the access he needs.
“Oh, you want it deep, huh?” He laughs a little. “You can always stop me.”
My blood boils and heats my skin. My stomach tightens in anticipation. When I don’t say anything, he plunges into me. His hits are hard and deliberate .
“Oh, god!” I wail.
His hands grip my shins as he dives into me with the precision of a porn star. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
“It’s not. It’s just… Fuck. It’s so good.” My breathing races with each thrust and pound.
He fucks me good and plenty for a while. Then he settles between my legs and takes my hands out from under my knees. He pulls in and out of me at a slower rate as he lays down on top of me.
“Jami, you feel so fucking good.”
“Don’t talk or I’ll come.” His mouth seals with mine in haste and our tongues twist together.
I try to take in everything about the moment. His kiss is primal. His hips dig into my thighs. The smell of sex fills the room and sets me on fire. He takes my breast in his hand and squeezes hard, groaning into my mouth.
We pant together. He stretches me more with each intense thrust and pulls his lips from mine.
“I’m going to come.” His stomach muscles tighten. “Hard.”
His fingers weave into my hair, and he tugs so my neck is on display. He moves to the dip near my neck and shoulder and sucks and kisses it as he comes deep inside of me.
“Fuck.” He groans. “So fucking hard.”
Warmth fills my lower abdomen as he pulses deep inside, all his muscles flexing and spasming. He releases himself into me long and strong, and I smile in reward of pleasing him.
When he’s done, his body softens over mine. He moves so we’re face-to-face and gently kisses me. This time, his tongue finds mine, and he laps over it with affection.
Nothing but love emanates between us. It may be one of the most erotic nights of my life. Something about it connects me to him forever.
My chest aches with the fading memory. I work myself back into the here and now with more emptiness drowning out the great times I shared with him.
I thought we were finally getting our chance. Tears press against my eyes, so I force myself into the shower, feeling the ache between my thighs as if Jami and I had just gotten done having the best sex of our lives.
I’ve managed to keep my tears at bay today. Still, I’m bruised and broken, so I find a pair of pink yoga pants and an oversized cream sweater. Being comfortable is what I need the most.
I work myself into my clothes as I try to figure out how I want to handle this thing with Jami.
There’s a knock on my door.
“Come in.” I’m in the en suite, towel drying my hair. Thinking it’s Melanie, I go about my business.
Hunter peeks in with a cup of coffee in his hand. “I thought you might be in dire need of this.”
I huff a laugh. “You know me well.”
I drop my towel on the laundry basket and turn to Hunter. His eyes are stuck to me and a sudden unease washes over me.
He holds out my cup. “Take this and then let’s talk.”
My stomach bottoms out. There’s a weird vibration running around in the room, and it’s coming off of Hunter.
I take the coffee, trying to still my wobbly hand. “You’re freaking me out.”
“Ah, yeah. I’m freaking myself out, so I can only imagine what that’s doing to you.” He slides his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.
Fear slams into me. “Hunter, what happened?”
He motions to the bedroom. “Let’s talk in there.”
He waits for me to pass and then follows.
As my breathing kicks up, I try to ground myself. I place the mug on the desk in the room and turn to face him.
“What’s this about? ”
He pats the edge of the bed. “Come sit.”
I shake my head and wrap my arms around my waist. “No. I want to stand.”
“Fine.” He nods and glances at the ground. “Mel went home to pack her bags. She’ll be back in a while.”
“Stop stalling. We covered that last night.”
He scratches the back of his head. “Well, where do I begin?”
“How about with whatever has you acting like someone died.”
He swallows and holds onto the wood frame of the poster bed. “After seeing how much Jamison hurt you over withholding his life, I want to come clean about what I’ve done. I don’t want any more secrets between us, so I’m ready to tell you everything.”
The ground opens up. I’m teetering on the edge of the abyss, about to fall in. “Okay, now I’m really freaking out.”
He hands me his phone. My face bunches up. “Why are you showing me your phone?”
“Do you remember when you asked me if I was following you?”
I brace myself. “Yeah…”
“Well, I wasn’t, but I did have your Share My Location app activated on my phone, so I knew where you were.”
A wildfire of anger flares through my core. “You did what?”
“Dorothy, before you slap me, hear me out.” He steps back.
“No, Hunter. That is such a violation of my privacy.” I spin away and then spin right back. “How the fuck do you even do that?”
“I called you one night and you had left your phone behind. I didn’t know where you were, so I activated it then.” He runs his hands through his hair. “You would disappear and go silent on me at times. I was worried about you. ”
“Worried? No. That was sneaky and wrong.”
He bites his lip and nods. “I know that now. If you look in my phone, you’ll see I deactivated it. I no longer have any ability to track you.”
“Good God, Hunter. I have half the nerve?—”
“Please don’t shut down or leave. Be pissed off and let me have it, but know I’m trying to be better. I have issues from my past that give me panic attacks when I can’t find someone. It’s one of the reasons I chase after you when you run out on me.”
What?
After all this time, he’s finally letting me in.
My neck loosens and my defenses lower a little. “What are these issues?”
“When I was ten, my mother walked out on us.” His voice goes quiet. “She was going to leave without telling us, but I stumbled onto her as she was stepping out the door with her suitcases in tow. She told me goodbye and not to worry about her anymore.”
My heart shatters for him. “Hunter. I’m so sorry.”
His eyes swim in a sea of unbearable pain. “I begged her, Dorothy. I held onto her legs and tried to make her stay.”
Compassion fills my every cell. “Oh my god. I had no idea.”
“That’s why I chase you. I hate having no control over what happens. I panic, and that’s why I tracked you. I know it’s wrong, but my therapist asked me to consider the possibility that I’m repressed in that area.
“She thinks I made those mistakes with you because I was acting like a ten-year-old, trying to change the outcome of what happened with my mother.”
It makes so much sense.
I hurry to him and give him a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me this before? If I had known, I wouldn’t have acted that way with you. ”
He shakes his head in the crest of my neck and holds me like he’ll die if I let go.
When his rapid breathing returns to normal, he steps out of my embrace. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never do those things to you again.”
I try to put him more at ease with the situation. “Well, I might check your phone on demand, but if I find nothing, we should be good.”
He narrows his brows and shakes his head. “What?”
“I don’t condone what you did, but now I understand why you act that way.” I shoot him an understanding smile. “See how easy this could’ve been if you would’ve just talked to me?”
His entire body slackens. He sits on the edge of the bed and buries his face in his hands. “I’ve made a terrible mistake not opening up to you.”
“Yeah, you have.” I sit beside him. “I’m not saying I’m not upset, but I’ll work through it knowing why you did it.”
He turns his head my way. “I expected you to be mad, but I’ve learned over time—and through our other fights—that you’re reasonable and forgiving when I tell you what’s going on in my fucked up brain.”
My thoughts instantly go to Jami.
Can I forgive him for not telling me about his son and ex-fiancée if I let him explain?
Will what he has to say excuse his lack of trust in me when he’s known me for almost my entire life?
Hunter waves his hand in front of my face. “Where did I lose you?”
“I was just thinking about Jami.”
“What about him?”
I peer into Hunter’s eyes. “I’m wondering if I’ll be able to forgive him.”
“Do you think you can?”