CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
MASON
I didn’t mean to get up.
That was the honest version of it.
One second I was sitting there, listening to the quiet, and the next I was standing without really deciding to.
The room didn’t change.
But I did.
Rowan noticed immediately.
Of course she did.
Her head lifted slightly from where she was sitting on her bed.
Not alarmed.
Just aware.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
I paused near the desk.
“I’m not.”
That earned a look.
Not confusion.
Something closer to disbelief.
“You’re literally standing,” she said.
“I know.”
Silence.
Then she shifted slightly on the bed.
Not moving toward me.
Not moving away.
Just adjusting.
Like she was making space for something she didn’t understand yet.
That was the problem with her.
She always noticed the change before the explanation existed.
Rowan
He was standing now.
Not pacing.
Not restless.
Just… up.
That alone changed the room.
Because everything had been static for too long.
“You can’t sleep?” I asked.
He didn’t answer immediately.
Then:
“I don’t need much.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
That made him look at me properly.
Longer than before.
And for a second I thought he was going to dodge it like usual.
He didn’t.
“No,” he said. “Not really.”
That should’ve been simple.
It wasn’t.
Because it wasn’t the answer.
It was the admission.
I sat up slightly more.
“This is normal for you?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“That’s not normal.”
He almost shrugged.
“It is for me.”
That answer again.
Always the same shape.
Never soft.
Mason
She got up too.
That was the part I didn’t expect.
Not dramatic.
Just standing from her bed like she’d decided sitting wasn’t enough anymore.
Now we were both upright again.
Same room.
Different distance.
Less predictable.
She walked toward the desk slowly.
Not toward me.
But not away either.
That middle space again.
Always that space.
“You don’t stop,” she said quietly.
“What.”
“Thinking. Moving. Whatever you want to call it.”
I leaned back slightly against the wall near the window.
“Neither do you.”
That got a reaction.
Small.
But real.
A pause.
Then:
“Yeah,” she said. “But I at least try to.”
That landed differently.
Because it wasn’t a challenge.
It was observation.
Rowan
He wasn’t defensive.
That was new.
Mason didn’t do “open” responses.
He did controlled ones.
But tonight felt slightly off that structure.
“You’re doing it again,” I said.
“Doing what.”
“Acting like everything has to stay contained.”
He looked at me for a second.
Then:
“It does.”
“Why.”
Another pause.
Longer this time.
Then:
“Because if it doesn’t, it changes things.”
That made the room feel tighter again.
Not physically.
Just… aware.
I folded my arms.
“Things are already changing,” I said.
He didn’t deny it.
That was the first real confirmation tonight.
Instead:
“I know,” he said.
That was worse.
Because it meant he wasn’t resisting it.
Just measuring it.
Mason
She stepped closer to the desk now.
Not toward me.
But closer to the center of the room.
That shift mattered more than it should’ve.
Now the space wasn’t split.
It was shared.
I pushed off the wall slightly.
Not moving toward her.
Not away.
Just repositioning.
“You’re not tired?” I asked.
“No.”
“Liar.”
That got a small reaction.
A flicker.
Not irritation.
Something closer to honesty being called out.
“I’m not sleeping anyway,” she said.
“Because of the room?”
She hesitated.
That hesitation again.
Then:
“Because of everything.”
That was vague.
But not empty.
I understood it anyway.
Rowan
The air felt different now.
Not tense in the way it had been earlier.
Something slower.
More constant.
Like neither of us had fully settled into pretending anymore.
I leaned lightly against the desk.
Not sitting.
Not standing fully.
In between.
“You make everything sound like it has to be controlled,” I said.
“It does.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
“It is.”
That was the first time he didn’t soften it.
Just admitted it.
Clean.
No escape.
I looked at him properly now.
“You ever think about stopping?”
“No.”
Immediate.
Honest.
Then, after a beat:
“Not really an option.”
That stayed in the room longer than anything else tonight.
Mason
She didn’t respond immediately.
Just looked at me.
Like she was trying to understand something that didn’t translate easily.
I’d seen that look before.
Not often.
Not from many people.
Rowan didn’t look away quickly.
That mattered.
The room felt quieter again.
But not empty.
Just paused.
Then she said:
“That sounds lonely.”
I didn’t answer immediately.
Because it was.
But I didn’t say that.
Instead:
“It’s just how it is.”
That should’ve ended it.
It didn’t.
Rowan
He said it like it was weather.
Not choice.
Not identity.
Just fact.
I didn’t like that.
Not because I disagreed.
Because I didn’t.
“You don’t have to stay like that,” I said quietly.
That got his attention properly.
Fully.
No hesitation.
No deflection.
Just eyes on me.
And for the first time tonight—
no distance in it.
“I do,” he said.
Simple.
Heavy.
Final.
The room didn’t move after that.
But something in it did.
And neither of us pretended not to notice anymore.