CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
ROWAN
Mason shouldn’t have sounded soft.
That was the problem.
If he’d sounded normal—controlled, unreadable, emotionally allergic—I would’ve known what to do with it.
But he didn’t.
“You okay?”
Simple question.
Quiet.
And somehow that made it worse.
Because it sounded real.
I looked up at him slowly.
The rooftop lights caught the sharp edge of his jaw for half a second before someone moved between us and the shadow returned.
“I’m fine,” I said automatically.
His expression didn’t change.
“You always say that.”
That almost made me laugh.
Almost.
“You do too.”
“Yeah,” he replied. “Difference is I’m usually lying.”
That hit harder than it should’ve.
Because he said it casually.
Like it wasn’t a massive thing to admit.
I stared at him for a second.
“You’re weird tonight.”
“I know.”
No denial.
No deflection.
That somehow made him feel more dangerous than usual.
MASON
She looked unsettled.
Not dramatic.
Just thrown slightly off balance.
And I knew exactly why.
Luca and Tessa.
Easy touch.
Easy chemistry.
No overthinking.
No hesitation.
Everything between Rowan and me was hesitation.
That difference had clearly gotten into her head too.
Good.
That thought should’ve bothered me more.
Instead it just felt honest.
Music pounded through the rooftop again as another group pushed toward the center.
Someone bumped Rowan’s shoulder passing by too fast.
I reacted before thinking.
Hand catching lightly at her waist to steady her.
Brief.
Instinctive.
Still a mistake.
Because the second my hand touched her—
everything in my body became aware of it.
So did hers.
Rowan froze slightly.
Not visibly enough for anyone else to notice.
But I noticed.
Of course I did.
I let go immediately.
Too immediately.
ROWAN
Oh.
That was bad.
Not the touch itself.
The reaction.
Because it was barely anything.
A hand at my waist for maybe one second.
Two max.
Just enough to stop me from getting shoved sideways by the crowd.
Normal.
Should’ve been normal.
Instead my entire nervous system reacted like he’d done something far worse.
Mason pulled his hand away instantly.
Jaw tightening slightly afterward.
Like he regretted doing it.
That annoyed me immediately.
“You don’t have to act like touching me is life-threatening,” I said.
That got his attention properly.
“It’s not.”
“You pulled away like it burned you.”
Silence.
Then:
“That’s not why I moved.”
I folded my arms slightly.
“Then why.”
Big mistake asking that.
Because now he looked at me in that too-direct way again.
Like he was deciding how honest to be.
MASON
I shouldn’t answer honestly.
That was obvious.
But alcohol plus exhaustion plus this entire night had started eroding parts of my judgment.
So instead of saying something clean—
I said:
“Because if I don’t control things immediately, they stop being simple.”
The second the words left my mouth, I knew that was too much truth.
Rowan’s expression shifted slightly.
Not confusion.
Understanding.
That was worse.
“Nothing about this has been simple,” she said quietly.
I didn’t answer.
Because she was right.
And I was getting tired of pretending otherwise.
ROWAN
For a second neither of us moved.
Again.
That kept happening.
Moments where the entire rooftop seemed to continue around us while we stayed weirdly still inside it.
Mason glanced away first this time.
Toward the crowd.
Toward anywhere except me.
That was new.
“You know what your problem is?” I asked quietly.
“That question never ends well.”
“You think if you acknowledge something, it becomes uncontrollable.”
His eyes shifted back to mine instantly.
Sharp.
Not angry.
Just caught.
“And you think ignoring things makes them disappear,” he replied.
“That’s not true.”
“It kind of is.”
I opened my mouth.
Closed it again.
Because annoyingly—
he wasn’t fully wrong.
LUCA
Tessa was kissing my neck again when I looked back toward the couch area.
Basketball guy was standing near Rowan now.
Closer than before.
Still not touching.
Which honestly felt insane considering the amount of tension happening between them.
Tessa followed my line of sight.
“Oh,” she said. “They’re definitely not fucking.”
I laughed instantly.
“You can tell?”
“She looks emotionally stressed.”
Fair enough.
TESSA
The hot ones are always disasters.
That’s just science.
The basketball guy looked like he wanted to kiss her and argue with her at the same time.
The girl looked like she’d rather die than admit she liked the attention.
Classic.
I grabbed Luca’s jaw lightly, turning his attention back to me.
“Stop watching them.”
“But it’s entertaining.”
“So am I.”
“True.”
Then she kissed me properly this time.
Problem solved.
ROWAN
I looked away from Mason for a second.
And accidentally saw Luca and Tessa making out near the dance floor like they were starring in a bad decisions documentary.
That immediate.
That physical.
No hesitation.
No analysis.
Nothing complicated.
My brain betrayed me instantly by comparing it.
And somehow—
that made standing next to Mason feel even more intense.
Which was ridiculous.
Because he wasn’t even touching me anymore.
He noticed where I looked.
Of course he did.
“That bothering you?” he asked.
I frowned. “What?”
“Them.”
“No.”
“You hesitated.”
“You notice too much.”
“That’s not an answer.”
I exhaled sharply.
“Why do you care?”
That question landed hard.
Because for the first time all night—
he genuinely didn’t answer immediately.
MASON
Why did I care?
Bad question.
Worse timing.
Because the answer wasn’t clean anymore.
It wasn’t just control.
Or curiosity.
Or awareness.
It was becoming something more dangerous than that.
Something harder to manage.
And Rowan was standing close enough now that I could smell the alcohol on her breath mixed with perfume and rooftop air.
That wasn’t helping.
“I don’t know,” I said finally.
Honest.
Again.
Too honest.
Her expression changed slightly at that.
Softer.
Just for a second.
Then someone yelled Mason’s name from across the rooftop and the moment cracked apart instantly.
I looked away automatically.
And when I looked back—
Rowan was still watching me.
Like she wasn’t sure what had just happened either.