CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
MASON
Coach didn’t say a word to me during warmups.
That was worse than yelling.
Yelling meant you could fix something. Silence meant you were being measured.
Again.
We were running full scrimmage sets before afternoon conditioning, and I could feel it in every possession—guys were watching me differently.
Not hostile.
Not exactly.
More like they were waiting to see if I’d slip again.
Andre cut hard off a screen. I hit him late by half a step.
The ball still went through.
Coach blew the whistle immediately.
“Again.”
No explanation. No correction. Just again.
Luca jogged past me as we reset. “You’re in your head, man.”
“I’m aware.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Neither is talking right now.”
Luca smirked slightly but didn’t push it further.
Which meant even he could tell this wasn’t normal teasing territory anymore.
It was performance territory.
And I was bleeding points.
Coach called me over after the scrimmage break.
The gym was loud behind us—balls bouncing, shoes squeaking—but it felt distant standing there.
“You know what scouts are looking for in New York?” he asked.
“Consistency.”
“Good. Now show me you understand what that means.”
I wiped my face with my towel. “I’m not falling apart.”
Coach didn’t react to that.
Just looked at me.
That quiet, annoying kind of look that said he’d coached too many guys like me already.
“You’re not falling apart,” he said finally. “You’re splitting.”
That hit harder than I wanted it to.
“Fix it before it shows up in a game.”
Then he walked away.
No dramatic ending.
Just left me standing there with that sentence sitting in my chest like a weight.
ROWAN
I almost missed my internship workshop because I couldn’t find my laptop charger.
Which felt like a personal attack from the universe.
Mia was already halfway through her coffee when I burst into the media lab.
“You look like you ran here,” she said.
“I basically did.”
“You’re late. Professor Bennett is already in murder mode.”
“Great.”
The workshop was packed tighter than usual.
Everyone was talking about New York like it was a lottery ticket instead of a competition.
Bennett walked in and the room immediately shut up.
“Good,” she said. “Less noise means fewer delusions of confidence.”
Okay.
Rude.
She started passing out feedback sheets from previous drafts.
Mine came back with one line at the top:
“Stop writing like you’re trying to be accepted. Write like you already belong.”
I stared at it longer than I meant to.
Mia leaned over. “That’s good, right?”
“It’s terrifying.”
“Same thing in academia.”
I should’ve been excited.
Instead I felt like I was missing something I didn’t know how to name.
After class, I lingered in the hallway scrolling my phone without really seeing it.
Mason hadn’t texted since last night.
Which shouldn’t have mattered.
But did.
Annoyingly.
Then my phone buzzed.
Mason:
You free?
I stared at it.
Then typed:
Rowan:
Depends. Are you about to distract me again or is this educational?
Three dots appeared instantly.
Mason:
Coach is trying to kill me.
Thought you’d enjoy the update.
I actually smiled.
That was becoming a problem too.
Rowan:
I don’t enjoy your suffering.
Mason:
That’s new.
Rowan:
Don’t get used to it.
MASON
Practice ended early.
Which usually meant good things.
Today it just meant Coach didn’t trust us to keep going.
That was worse.
Locker room was quieter than usual.
Andre tossed his shoes into his bag. “Coach is pissed at everyone now, not just you.”
“Comforting,” I muttered.
Luca leaned against the lockers beside me. “He’s not wrong though.”
I looked at him.
Luca didn’t smile this time.
That alone was enough to make me listen.
“You’re playing like you’re waiting for something to go wrong,” he said.
“I’m not.”
“Yeah, you are.”
Silence.
Then Luca added, softer, “Is it your dad? Or her?”
That question landed wrong immediately.
I shut my locker a little harder than necessary. “Neither.”
Luca nodded like he didn’t believe me but wasn’t going to argue.
“New York’s coming fast,” he said instead.
Yeah.
I knew.
ROWAN
Mia and I were walking out of the media building when she suddenly stopped.
“You’re going to New York, right?” she asked.
“I’m applying.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
I sighed. “Yes. If I get it.”
Mia smiled. “You will.”
“That’s still your thing?”
“What thing?”
“The blind confidence.”
“It’s not blind. It’s informed.”
“Based on what?”
“You’re annoying enough to succeed.”
I laughed despite myself.
Then my phone buzzed again.
Mason.
Mason:
You ever think about what happens after all this?
I slowed slightly.
“What all this” was doing a lot of work in that sentence.
Rowan:
You mean life?
Mason:
Yeah.
That was… unusually not him.
I stopped walking.
Rowan:
No.
Mason:
That’s depressing.
Rowan:
It’s practical.
Three dots.
Longer this time.
Mason:
I don’t like uncertainty right now.
That felt heavier than it should’ve.
MASON
I shouldn’t have sent that last message.
But something about Coach, Luca, my dad, everything—it was stacking too much.
Rowan replied after a while.
Rowan:
Nobody does.
I leaned against the hallway wall outside the locker room.
People passed by talking, laughing, moving on with their day like everything was normal.
Mine didn’t feel normal.
Not lately.
My phone buzzed again.
Rowan:
You okay?
That question again.
Simple.
Dangerous.
I stared at it for a long time before answering.
Mason:
Yeah.
Then paused.
Deleted it.
Typed again.
Mason:
Not really.
Sent.
And for some reason, that felt like the first honest thing I’d said all day.
MASON
I stared at my own message after sending it.
Not really.
That was a stupid thing to admit.
Not because it was dramatic.
Because it was real.
My phone stayed still for a few seconds.
Then:
Rowan:
Where are you?
I exhaled through my nose.
Of course she didn’t ignore it.
Mason:
Locker hallway.
Rowan:
Still at campus?
Mason:
Yeah.
Typing bubbles appeared immediately.
Then stopped.
Then started again.
Rowan:
I’m coming.
That made me pause.
I actually looked at the screen properly now.
Mason:
You don’t have to.
Rowan:
I know.
And that was it.
No explanation.
No overthinking.
Just… decision.
I put my phone back in my pocket and leaned against the wall again.
Which was stupid.
Because now I was waiting.
And I hated waiting.
ROWAN
I didn’t even think about it properly.
I just grabbed my bag and left Mia mid-sentence.
“Where are you going?” she called after me.
“Locker rooms,” I said.
Mia blinked. “That sounded illegal.”
“It’s not.”
“It sounded like it.”
I ignored her.
Campus was loud in that late-afternoon way—everyone pretending they weren’t exhausted yet.
I kept walking faster than necessary.
I didn’t even fully know what I was doing.
Which was the problem.
Because with Mason lately, everything felt like that.
Unplanned.
Uncomfortable.
Honest.
And somehow I still kept moving toward it.
MASON
I heard footsteps before I saw her.
Fast ones.
Not hesitant.
Rowan turned the corner into the hallway like she already knew where I’d be standing.
“You’re actually here,” I said.
She stopped a few steps away. “You texted me something weird.”
“I didn’t text you anything weird.”
“You said ‘not really’ like your life was collapsing.”
“That’s not what I said.”
She raised an eyebrow.
I didn’t argue further.
Because yeah.
Fair.
Rowan glanced around the hallway. “Are you supposed to still be here?”
“No.”
“Cool.”
She walked closer then, slower this time.
And for some reason, that made my chest tighten slightly.
“You don’t look fine,” she said.
“I said I wasn’t really.”
“That’s worse.”
I let out a short breath.
“Coach is on me,” I said finally. “NYC is coming. And I’m not playing right.”
Rowan nodded once.
Not dramatic.
Just listening.
Then:
“Is it pressure or distraction?”
I looked at her.
That was too accurate of a question.
“Both,” I admitted.
She didn’t look surprised.
That was annoying.
ROWAN
He leaned back against the lockers again like his body didn’t know what to do with itself.
That was new.
Mason usually looked… controlled.
Even when he was irritated.
Right now he just looked tired.
Which was worse somehow.
“You always this dramatic before tournaments?” I asked.
He scoffed slightly. “No.”
“Then what changed?”
He hesitated.
That pause mattered.
Because Mason didn’t hesitate often.
Then:
“I don’t know.”
I nodded slowly.
That felt honest too.
Too honest.
I leaned against the opposite wall, giving him space but not leaving.
“You’re overthinking it,” I said.
“That’s what people say when they don’t know what else to say.”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “But I mean it.”
He looked at me again.
Longer this time.
And for once, it didn’t feel like he was analyzing me.
It felt like he was just… stuck.
MASON
She was too calm.
That was the problem.
Everyone else had opinions.
Coach had pressure.
Luca had jokes.
My dad had expectations.
Rowan just had… presence.
Which was worse.
Because it didn’t push.
It didn’t demand.
It just stayed.
“You came all the way here just to tell me I’m overthinking?” I asked.
She shrugged slightly. “Partially.”
“Partially?”
She nodded toward me. “Also because you texted like something was wrong.”
I stared at her for a second.
Then:
“You didn’t have to come.”
Rowan didn’t answer immediately.
Then:
“I know.”
That again.
That simple agreement.
No defense.
No justification.
Just choice.
And I didn’t know what to do with that.
ROWAN
He pushed a hand through his hair.
Once.
Slow.
Not frustrated exactly.
Just… overloaded.
“I have New York tryouts in six weeks,” he said.
“I know.”
“And if I don’t perform—”
He stopped.
Didn’t finish it.
But I understood.
That last part didn’t need words.
I nodded slightly. “That’s a lot.”
He let out a short laugh.
Not amused.
More like disbelief.
“You’re the only person who’s said that without turning it into a speech about opportunity.”
I frowned slightly. “What do other people say?”
He leaned his head back against the lockers.
“The usual.”
“You’re lucky.”
“You should be grateful.”
“This is your chance.”
I stayed quiet.
Because yeah.
That sounded exhausting.
MASON
She didn’t rush to fill silence.
That was something I was noticing more lately.
Most people couldn’t stand quiet.
Rowan just… existed in it.
“Your internship thing is New York too, right?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Same city,” she said. “Different universe.”
That made me huff a small laugh.
“Yeah,” I said. “Sounds about right.”
Rowan tilted her head slightly. “Are you actually asking what happens after?”
I hesitated.
Then nodded once.
“Yeah.”
That was probably the first time I’d said it out loud.
Not to Coach.
Not to Luca.
Not to myself.
Her expression changed slightly.
Not emotional.
Just thoughtful.
“I don’t know,” she said honestly.
“Great.”
“But…” she added.
I looked at her again.
She continued:
“We figure out what matters more when we’re there.”
That should’ve sounded vague.
But it didn’t.
ROWAN
He looked at me like he wanted a clearer answer.
I didn’t have one.
Because I wasn’t stupid enough to pretend life was simple.
But I also wasn’t going to pretend I didn’t care.
“You’re going to be fine,” I added.
He raised an eyebrow slightly. “That’s not very convincing.”
“It’s not supposed to be convincing,” I said. “It’s supposed to be annoying enough that you believe it later.”
That made him laugh.
Properly this time.
Short.
Real.
And it shifted something in the air between us again.
Not romantic.
Not dramatic.
Just… less heavy.
His phone buzzed in his pocket.
He didn’t check it immediately.
That was new too.
Then he did.
I noticed his expression change slightly.
Not bad.
Just alert.
“Coach?” I asked.
He shook his head once. “No.”
Pause.
“My dad.”
Right.
That explained the shift.
He put the phone back without replying.
Which also felt new.
MASON
I didn’t answer it.
Which I probably should’ve.
But not right now.
Not with Rowan standing there.
Not with my head already split in too many directions.
Rowan pushed off the wall slightly.
“You should go,” she said.
“I just got here.”
“You look like you’re about to get dragged into a lecture.”
She wasn’t wrong.
I exhaled.
Then nodded once.
“Yeah.”
I didn’t move immediately.
Neither did she.
That was the problem lately.
Moments didn’t end cleanly anymore.
They just… paused.
Rowan looked at me once more.
“Text me later,” she said.
It wasn’t a question.
I nodded.
“Yeah.”
And this time when I walked away—
it didn’t feel like I was leaving something behind.
It felt like I was carrying it with me.