Chapter 20 Caroline
CAROLINE
Justin’s house was a surprise.
Not an outrageous, magnificent surprise. She’d actually expected a mansion. She’d assumed he was financially well-off, but after hearing about the amount he’d just donated as Santa like it was a drop in the bucket, all of her suspicions were confirmed.
This house was modest. It was a regular, single-story house like the one Caroline lived in with Skye.
She could see part of the inside around Justin’s broad shoulders, and it was just as plain as the outside.
White trim, off-white walls. Zero decorations, like he’d just moved in and hadn’t unpacked anything.
Justin took the box of sweets out of her hands and stepped to the side. “You didn’t have to bring anything.”
“I know, but life is better with dessert.”
She stepped into the living room, and noticed the stark emptiness of the place. Nothing on the coffee table or the matching side tables. No throws on the gray couch facing a massive TV. Definitely a bachelor’s living room. Justin took her coat and draped it over his arm.
“I’ll hang this by the back door in case you want to sit outside while dinner cooks.”
“Dinner?” Her perusal of the house could wait. Her stomach let out a low rumble at the mention of food.
“Steak, mashed potatoes, and salad. Does that sound okay?”
“Delightful.” Sweets might be her favorite, but she’d never turn down a steak.
Justin led the way into the kitchen and set the bakery box on the island. “The grill is ready for our steaks.”
“I’ll come with you,” she said, taking her coat back.
The dim light on the side of the house barely lit the area, and it was impossible to see much beyond the wooden railing topped with a thin layer of snow. Leaves rustled in the soft wind, and she pulled the collar of her coat up around her chin.
“Hmm.” Her mouth watered at the spicy smell of meat in the fresh, cool air. “It smells so good.”
“I hope it tastes good.” He checked the coals and double-clicked the tongs before moving the meat to the grate.
This was an entirely different experience from the last few weeks of trying to hide from him. She’d pushed him away at every turn, afraid of the hurt he could bring. Now, she craved him and the small pieces of their old life that were coming back like the first drops of rain.
Here she stood in front of the love of her life like the last twelve years never happened. It was all bittersweet. They’d missed so much, but the hope in her heart budded like a flower in spring.
Justin rested his hands on her shoulders, slowly sliding them down her arms and back up again. “If you’re cold, we can go inside.”
“I like it here.”
He glanced at their feet before lifting his chin. “You said you have something to talk to me about. Should I be afraid?”
“No. Not at all actually. I guess you know about what happened at the bakery today.”
Justin’s grip on her upper arms tightened. “What happened?”
“Um, Alicia showed up and passed out Christmas presents like Santa’s little elf. Are you serious? There were a ton of presents, and you bought them all?”
His fingers relaxed around her arms. “Oh. Well, it wasn’t anything big.
I couldn’t just hear their wishes and forget about them.
” He let his hands slide down to hers. “I didn’t want the kids to go without like I did.
You gave me my first gift as an adult. I could easily help those parents, so I did. ”
That little bloom of hope in her chest was a full and beautiful rose now. One thing she hadn’t been able to forget about Justin was his quiet kindness, and it seemed he still made the world a better place one secret act at a time.
Justin pulled up the sleeve of his shirt, revealing the leather bracelet she’d given him for his birthday all those years ago.
Caroline grasped for his wrist, turning it to make certain it wasn’t a daydream. “You kept it?”
“Of course I kept it. You gave it to me. I couldn’t wear it during practice or games, but I wear it everywhere else.”
“How have I not noticed it?” she asked, more to herself than to him.
“It’s winter, and long sleeves usually cover it.”
She traced her fingertips along the band. She certainly hadn’t forgotten him, and he’d kept a steady reminder of her. The years between them suddenly felt like a dark age.
“It’s the only thing I’m attached to,” Justin whispered. “The only person I’ve ever loved gave it to me.”
She turned her hands over in his until their palms lay flat against each other. His larger hand engulfed hers as he slid his fingers into the spaces between hers.
“Is this what you wanted to talk about?”
Oh, right. She’d come here because of an overwhelming desire to see him, but she’d also prepared a list of talking points.
“Alicia told me you’ve met Jordan.”
This was the part that could get dicey. Her older brother could be a brute when he wanted to be. With his background in military communications and current career as a security agent, there were few people who could stand in front of him without cowering a little.
“I did. He came to visit me at work when he saw the photo of us online.”
“He went to the station? Are you kidding me?”
“I’m glad he did. We’ve talked things out, and he’s not ready to chop me up into little pieces and feed me to the pigs anymore.”
“That’s a relief,” Caroline said, panting, even though she hadn’t moved. “So, everything is okay?”
“Better than okay. He’s a good guy, and we care about the same thing.”
Caroline tilted her head slightly. “What is that?”
Justin’s chin dipped slightly lower until their foreheads almost touched. “You.”
Oh, wow. That one little whisper of a word had somehow stolen her ability to breathe.
“I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I wanted to get to know Jordan without worrying you if we couldn’t get along for some reason.”
“You think that was a possibility?” she asked. All of her thoughts and dreams about Justin meeting her family had been a jumbled mess from the beginning.
Maybe everything was happening at the right time.
Jordan had gone through a lot during his time with the Marines.
He’d lost part of his leg, been medically discharged, and been forced to take up a new career after his old one let him go.
Before he met Alicia, he could have given Oscar the Grouch a run for his money.
“I’d like to meet Clint too,” Justin said. “Do you think he’d be willing to meet with both of us? You know, in case he decides I look like a punching bag?”
Caroline snorted a laugh. “Clint isn’t the one you should have worried about. If you’ve won over Jordan, Clint will be a breeze.”
Justin wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing them even closer. The heat from his body seeped into her chest.
“Do you think I could meet your parents too?”
There was a soft vulnerability in his question that broke her heart. Justin didn’t deserve to be shut out for the sins of his father, and her family would see that. Why had she believed they’d react any differently?
“I’d love that. I’ll ask Mom when we could all have dinner together. You know, Mom already likes you.”
Justin’s eyes widened, reflecting the light-blue moonlight off the whites around his irises. “Really?”
“Yeah. I told her about us shortly after you left. She said she understood why I hid it from her, but she also reminded me that I can go to her with any of my problems.”
“I’m glad I didn’t cause a rift between you and your family. That was one of my worst fears. You have everything I never did, and I know how important that is.”
Her heart still squeezed every time she thought about Justin’s childhood. She couldn’t imagine growing up without a loving family. They’d lived so close to each other, yet experienced such different lives.
“I’m sorry about your grandparents. I looked for any news about a service after I heard they’d passed.”
“I didn’t see a point in doing anything if no one would show up. Plus, if Chuck came, it would only be because he wanted to pick a fight with me.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”
Justin let out a small huff, and a plume of steam billowed out his nose. “It’s my fault for pushing you away. I know that, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Caroline slid her hand up his chest. “I already have, and I understand why you did it.”
“You do?”
“You didn’t ask me to choose between you and my family because you know I’d choose you, and you thought choosing you would mean losing them in a way.
I wish I could have had the chance to explain it to you at the time, but I can love my family from wherever I am.
Distance doesn’t matter. It didn’t matter between us either. ”
Justin rested his forehead against hers and whispered, “I thought it would, but you’re right. It didn’t change the way I loved you.”
Caroline closed her eyes, content to stay here in his arms. “It’s over now. Time for a new beginning.”
His hand slid up her back, and his fingers spread out across her shoulder blades. “I had a lot of good plans for my life, and they always involved you. Living without you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t ever want to do it again.”
“Me either,” Caroline whispered before a whole-body shiver rushed over her.
Justin pulled back and grabbed both sides of her coat, folding them over her chest. “You’re freezing.”
“I’m okay.” Even as she said the words, she couldn’t control the trembling of her body.
“Get inside. I’ll be right in as soon as I check on the steaks.”
He turned to attend to the grill. A warmth spread over her as she walked back into his house. They were tip-toeing into a future she’d always wanted, and it was better than she’d ever dreamed.