23. Chapter 23 #2
“Need help?” His voice came from just behind me, much more relaxed now. That demeanor felt more like him and it helped my nerves settle too.
“Sure,” I said, turning to face him. “Can you get three bowls from that cabinet?”
His shirt lifted just enough as he stretched, showing a sliver of skin, the faint trail of hair disappearing beneath the waistband of his shorts, and my brain, my completely unhelpful brain, followed it.
Heat rushed up my neck before I could stop it, my breath stalling.
Jake turned slightly, bowls in hand, and I knew—knew—that if I didn’t move right now, I was about to get caught.
But it was too late, his eyes were already locked onto mine, and I was in trouble.
I thought the routine of mornings would help diffuse the tension, but I’d forgotten to take into account that Jake wasn’t a usual part of our mornings. I was so insanely attracted to him, it was hard to shut off.
“Okay—” I nearly shrieked, turning away. “Breakfast time, buddy.”
I moved fast, crossing the kitchen island in a few quick steps and lowering Cai into his highchair at the breakfast bar with a little more focus than necessary, fiddling with the straps, adjusting them, then adjusting them again. Definitely not distracted by the six-four, muscled man in my space.
Jake began opening cabinets on the opposite side, and I was grateful for the granite between us. It gave me something solid to hide behind, something that made the space feel defined again instead of shared. It also gave me a chance to think rationally.
When I looked up, he’d already found what he needed.
Oats. Milk. A jug pulled from somewhere I hadn’t even told him to look.
He moved around my kitchen like it made sense to him.
As though he hadn’t just shown up uninvited or a little crazy, and quietly folded himself into the rhythm of our morning.
My heartbeat picked up in a new way. Now, it had nothing to do with the heat that had caught me off guard and everything to do with the steadiness of him being here, taking something off my plate without making it a thing. He was so damn good at that.
Words hovered somewhere just out of reach, caught behind my teeth, and no matter how many times I tried to pull them forward, they slipped away again, leaving me standing there with my mouth slightly open before I closed it, exhaling softly through my nose instead.
Say something.
Anything.
I dragged my gaze up to him, hoping maybe if I met his eyes, it would unlock something, give me a place to start. But the second I did, whatever I might’ve said disappeared completely.
Because he was already looking at me.
And smiling. Dimples and all.
“Nothing happened last night, or the night before,” I blurted, suddenly needing to revisit his earlier comments about Derek.
We talked a bit more last night, but he has plenty to sort out with work first, and as far as I’m concerned, we’re still just co-parents.
“He’s been staying at Nate’s this weekend, not here. ”
His smile grew, and I found my own answering his, along with a blush that warmed my cheeks. “Okay,” he said confidently.
“Okay,” I repeated.
“Okay,” Cai chimed in, and we laughed until our bellies hurt.
The morning moved slowly after that. Jake drifted around us with quiet purpose, brushing past me just enough that it sent a rush of heat through me each time.
Cai banged his spoon against the table, delighted with himself for finishing his oatmeal that was mostly smeared across his face.
Jake leaned over to wipe him, whispering something that made Cai giggle and kick his feet.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away. There was something between them, something that was easy and unforced. A rhythm they fell into without trying.
It wasn’t the same as Derek and Cai. Derek worked at it, always trying to show me that he was good with him, always performing a little, like he needed me to witness him being a parent.
But Jake wasn’t doing that at all. He wasn’t trying to impress me; he was just being himself, gentle, patient, sweet…and I felt a little bit bad to think it, but it affected me so much more.
My breath quickened at the realization of that, and my kitchen suddenly felt far too small. I needed to move, needed air. “Do you wanna come to the beach with us?”
His head popped up. “Definitely.”
“Okay, we’ll go get dressed.”
“I’ll wait here,” he said softly, wiping down my counter without being asked.
Cai and I got dressed quickly, and I stuffed some extra clothes into a bag for him. When I came back out, Jake was leaning against the counter, and those blue eyes were back to their usual mischief, as were his dimples.
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded. “Are you walking with us?”
Jake’s mouth twitched. “Well, about that…I thought we could swing by my place so I can grab my swim shorts.”
I frowned. He held the door open, letting me and Cai out first.
“So we’ll meet you there? If we go to the beach not far from here, we can walk.”
We walked down the stairs onto the sidewalk, where he jerked his chin toward his truck. Cai was thrilled and already yelling. “Or we could drive together.”
The closer we got, the more confused I felt. “But Cai needs a—” The words died on my tongue when he opened his door, revealing a car seat installed in the back.
“I might’ve done something a little crazy.”
“Jake.” I gasped. “This is wild.”
So totally wild that I didn’t have any other words in my head.
Cai leapt toward the open door, climbing into his seat already, but I was on pause, my whole body unmoving. The rush of emotion climbing into my subconscious was so intense, my nose tingled. Oh god, oh god, I couldn’t cry in front of him. Not again.
I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth and blinked hard at Cai, willing the sting behind my eyes to back off.
Jake scratched the back of his neck. “I figured you needed at least one person nearby to have a car seat. Nate has his motorcycle, and I cleared it with him too, so if you don’t mind me helping, I want to.”
The fact that I wasn’t breathing didn’t occur to me until I inhaled sharply through my nose. My fingers curled into the strap of the bag on my shoulder, doing nothing to ground me.
He stepped closer to me, concern flickering across his face. “Is it too much? It’s probably too much, right?”
“No.” I sniffed, laughing away the emotion. “It’s so thoughtful. Thank you, Jake.” There he was, proving my point and everything I’d said to him earlier.
He exhaled, relieved, and Cai yelled, “Jakey twuck! Cai in Jakey twuck,” at the top of his little lungs.
“So,” he said, smiling, “can I drive you?”
I nodded, unable to keep the smile blooming over my face. “Yeah, you can drive us.”
His grin was so wide, my heart hiccupped into my throat.
As I stood there watching him try to buckle Cai’s car seat, I realized with dizzying clarity that I wasn’t just reacting to this gesture. I was reacting to him and the way he kept showing up, kept choosing to spend his time with us intentionally.
And it was definitely getting harder to pretend he was just my friend.