25. Chapter 25
Jake
Tonight was the night, and I was shit scared.
I had a whole date night planned just for us two. Don’t freak out.
And I was currently failing spectacularly at not freaking out.
My hands dragged through my hair, then dropped, then came back up again, tugging at the strands once more, because I was going on a date that felt like so much more than a date.
This wasn’t grabbing coffee or running into her outside daycare or sitting on a beach while Cai climbed all over me like I was his personal jungle gym. Not that I had any problem with that, but this was just us two.
This didn’t have built-in buffers. This didn’t have an easy way to keep things light, to hide behind jokes and teasing and the way she’d roll her eyes at me when I got too much. This was me shooting my shot with the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on.
“Don’t freak out, Ledger.” It didn’t help saying it out loud because my pulse was erratic. At this rate, I’d sweat through my shirt too.
Shaking out my hands, I checked the time again, even though I already knew I wasn’t late. If anything, I was too early.
Usually, I’d call Nate or Connor if I need to talk something out. But Connor was out with Teddy’s dad tonight, and Nate, well, I’d already talked to him about the date happening, but I couldn’t call him now.
I scrubbed a hand down my face, letting out a breath that did nothing but lodge itself under my ribs.
Yeah. Definitely not calling Nate.
This was the part of having no fucking family that suffocated me sometimes.
If I needed parental advice? I didn’t have it.
If I wanted to talk to a sibling who’d known me my whole life?
Not happening. And mostly, I was fine with it.
I had my team, my friends. The ones I called when I needed help.
But right now, I’d give anything for a little advice from someone I trusted.
A sound at my door had me freezing mid-step, my thoughts cutting off so abruptly it felt like someone had yanked the plug on them. I frowned, turning toward it slowly before stepping closer, peering through the peephole. Nate stood there with a deep-set scowl.
I opened the door, eyebrows almost reaching my hairline.
“Don’t make this a big fucking deal, okay?” he started immediately, brushing past me before I’d even fully stepped back. “I don’t wanna hear what you’ll do with my sister tonight. I don’t want to know a fucking thing.”
“Wasn’t planning on—”
“Good,” he cut in, already pacing like he’d been the one spiraling. His hand came up to the chain around his neck, twisting it between his fingers in a way that told me this wasn’t as casual as he wanted it to be.
I shut the door slowly, watching him for a second, trying to piece together why he was here at all.
“But,” he added, exhaling through his nose, “I do know you. And I know you’re probably nervous right now. You always call one of us to ramble about shit,” he went on, his gaze locking onto mine. “And I know you need someone to talk to.”
I opened my mouth, instinctively ready to deflect, to make a joke out of it, but he held up a hand before I could get a single word out.
“But I’m not gonna let you talk,” he said, pointing at me. Oh, well, what the hell was this then? “Not even a little bit. I can’t risk you telling me anything about you and Seren. Trust me, it’s better if neither of us know.”
I blinked at him. Was this his idea of a pep talk? I’d have to talk to his parents and let them know they need to school him better.
“But I’m here. For you.”
The usual smart-ass comment sat right there on my tongue, ready to ruin the moment like I always did, but it didn’t feel right this time.
He’d shown up, even though it could cost him his sanity.
He was here because he didn’t want me to feel something without talking through it.
He knew me, and that soothed an ache inside that had been empty for the last hour.
I cleared my throat. “I appreciate it, man,” I began, trying to find the right words to say. He nodded, and the beat of silence between us was laced with words like brother, friend, confidant. But I didn’t say them, even though I hoped he felt them too.
He shifted his weight, glancing around my place like he needed somewhere else to put his focus. “So while I don’t need to know it all, can you tell me what you’re doing?”
I hesitated for half a second. “Roller skating.”
His head snapped back to me. “You’re joking?”
“No, I actually used to work at a roller rink when I was younger. Thought it could be fun.”
“Alright, she’ll like that,” he said, but then his eyes narrowed. “You should take her to Grab she loves that place. Just don’t overdo it, though.”
I mirrored his expression, whilst also filing that bit of information away. “Overdo what?”
“Everything,” he shot back, like it was obvious, when it absolutely wasn’t. I had no clue what he meant. “You’ve got this habit of turning things into a whole production when you actually care.”
I opened my mouth to argue that, then stopped.
Because…yeah. Fair. I may have had a tendency to go over the top with people I liked. I just wanted to make sure they liked me too.
But also, he said “when I care,” so he knew I wasn’t messing around with Seren, and that meant…well, a lot.
“Just be normal,” he went on. “Which, for you, probably means dial it back by at least fifty percent.”
“Fifty—”
“I’m being generous.”
I huffed out a breath this time, shaking my head. “You came here to insult me, didn’t you?”
“It’s a perk, I can’t lie.” He grumbled a laugh, his version of one. “If she’s agreed to this,” he continued, squinting at me, “which I’m still not convinced she was thinking clearly when she did—”
“Hey—”
“—then it’s not because you pulled some smooth move,” he cut in. “It’s because she already likes you, and I’ve seen you with her. She’s happy around you.”
That piece of knowledge solidified something I thought was a possibility, but now I knew for sure. I liked her. I liked her son. I liked her brother…but he was my family, and I didn’t want to mess that up.
“I’m so fucking scared, dude,” I admitted for the first time out loud.
My heart was a racing horse as I looked at him, ready to tell him the truth.
“I’ve never dated a woman like Seren before.
I know I’ve messed around a lot, but I don’t want to do that with her because of Cai, and she’s connected to you, and you are my”—oh god, my bottom lip wobbled—“my best friend.”
Nate’s entire face changed.
Not a lot, because he was still Nate, and I was pretty sure the guy would go to his grave allergic to full-bodied emotion, but something in his expression gave way anyway, the scowl losing some of its bite as he looked at me.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered, dragging a hand over the back of his neck. “Don’t do that.”
I gave a wet, pathetic laugh that I couldn’t quite control. “Do what?”
“Say shit like that and look like you’re about to cry in your apartment before I’ve even insulted your outfit properly.”
That made another laugh leave me, rougher this time, and I dropped my head for a second because that wobble in my mouth was not going anywhere.
I hated that it was him seeing this, and at the same time, I was glad it was.
There was something about Nate, about the way he never dressed anything up prettier than it was, that made the truth easier to hand over.
He exhaled and looked away, toward the wall, like he needed a minute to get himself together too. “You’re not screwing this up,” he said eventually, his voice quieter now, less jagged around the edges. “You know why?”
I lifted my head. “Why?”
“Because for once in your life, you’re actually scared of the right thing.” His gaze came back to mine. “You’re not scared she won’t sleep with you. You’re not scared you won’t impress her. You’re scared because she matters, and you know what it would cost if you got this wrong.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and nodded once.
“Seren’s not looking for fireworks and some huge performance. She wants to feel okay. She wants to feel comfortable. She wants to know the man taking her out sees all of it, not just the parts that are easy to want.”
The words settled over me heavier than any joke could’ve, because that was exactly it.
Seren wasn’t someone I wanted to dazzle for one night.
She was someone I wanted to know how to hold properly, even outside of my hands.
Her life wasn’t simple, and neither was mine, but when it came to her, none of that made me want it less.
It made me want to rise to the challenge.
Nate’s jaw worked like he was chewing on the next part before he gave it to me. “And for the record, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you.”
It got me right in the place I’d spent most of my life pretending didn’t exist, that hungry, bruised part of me that still sometimes felt sixteen years old and temporary, like I was one wrong move away from being left outside again.
“You trust me with her?”
“With her heart?” he asked, and there was no softness in the question, just honesty. “That part’s still on probation.”
A laugh dragged out of me, and he nodded once, like he’d done his job.
“But I trust that you care,” he went on. “I trust that if she asked you to leave, you would. I trust that if Cai needed something, you’d show up. And I trust that if this becomes something real, you won’t treat it like one of your usual situationships.”
I shook my head. “It’s not. She’s not.”
“I know,” he said, then looked me over once, from head to toe, and his mouth twitched like he was recovering enough to be himself again. “Outfit is only okay.”
I glanced down at it. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
I grinned, feeling my fear dissipate, and he finally looked satisfied with the fact that I no longer seemed one breath away from a complete emotional collapse.
As he moved for the door, I followed him, leaning against the wall while he reached for the handle.
“Nate.”
He looked back.
“Thank you.”
His nod was as stoic as ever. “If you tell me a single detail tomorrow, I will actually kill you.”
I chuckled. “My lips are sealed.”
“Good.” He gave me one last look, something firm and knowing passing between us. “Now go take my sister on her date and be normal for once in your life.”
He left, and I grabbed my keys from the counter and looked at myself in the mirror by the door one last time.
“Be normal,” I muttered.
Then I snorted, shook my head, and headed out anyway, because normal had never been my thing, but for Seren, I could at least be real.