32. Chapter 32
Seren
Jake
Wanna do breakfast this weekend?
Or I could do brunch if you wanna sleep in.
Or, crazy idea, I could just come over and eat you instead.
Seren
Don’t you have a game to prep for this weekend?
Jake
Game is on Saturday, but starting any day with you seems like a great idea.
Seren
Cai and I were going to the game anyway, you know.
Jake
You’re coming to watch me play?
Seren
We’re coming to watch Nate too. The whole team actually.
Jake
I love that you’re coming to watch me play.
Seren
Jake?
Jake
Yes mama?
Seren
Can you keep a secret?
Jake
I happen to be the best at it.
Seren
I might have a really small, little, miniscule, it’s hardly worth mentioning, but I trust you won’t tell anyone…crush on number 15.
Jake
Should I be worried about this crush?
Seren
Depends.
Jake
On?
Seren
Whether he can back it up on Saturday.
Jake
Oh, he can.
Especially now he knows you’re watching.
Guess I better give you something worth crushing over.
Seren
I’d appreciate you passing the message to number 15.
If someone had told me six months ago that I’d be smiling like an idiot thinking over messages from Jake Ledger, I’d have laughed in their faces. Yet here I was with rosy, aching cheeks.
“My, my, my. What do we have here?” Lola swaggered over to sit next to me in our locker room with a knowing smirk. “Who’s got you smiling like that?”
I locked my phone and smacked it face down onto the bench.
“No one.”
Lola, I was learning fast, was the ‘wait it out and make them sweat’ kind of friend. It’s also how she played rugby, with a lot of tactics. She was perceptive and noticed things others might not have. Which is how I could feel her staring right at the…
“So that hickey on your neck is from the ‘no one’ you went on a date with?”
My hand flew to the exact spot I knew it was because I’d spent forty dollars on a concealer that promised me it would cover it up. Apparently, that was all a lie.
Not all the team were here, and I was grateful, because if Evie saw it, she’d have a field day, and I wasn’t ready for that yet. “Keep it to yourself, please. It’s new, and I’m not sure if I’m totally ready for everyone to know.”
“Seren Davis has a secret lover,” she mused, looking far too happy with herself.
“Not lover,” I groaned, heat rising to my cheeks.
“Boyfriend then?”
“We literally went on one date.” Though I was lying to myself that I didn’t hope there would be more. I also wasn’t about to tell her how good my date was with his tongue.
“I’ll bet I can guess who it is.”
“I’m not confirming anything.”
She tapped her chin, then lowered her voice. “Jake.”
Was I surprised? Not even a little bit. The fact that Lola figured it out meant she’d been paying attention like she does.
I liked him, but I was also conflicted. I already felt like I had something to prove here as a Valkyrie, as well as juggling all the things with Cai; the last thing I wanted was people to think I’d come here to date a player.
Not that anyone on the Valkyries had given me reason to think that, but being a mom, I overthink everything to the extreme. It was my insecurity and one I’d have to learn to overcome.
I knew that my lack of an answer probably confirmed her suspicion anyway.
“For what it’s worth, I think it’s cute.”
“The guy, or the hickey?” I snorted.
“The guy. Jake’s a sweetie. If a little over the top sometimes, but he’s got a good heart.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, knowing she was right. He’d done nothing but show me just how big his heart was since the day I’d met him. “He’s a good one.”
“So just enjoy it,” Lola said as though that were the simplest thing in the world. And maybe it was. Maybe I was overcomplicating all of this.
***
It had only been a week since our date night, and even though we hadn’t managed another night together yet, we’d grabbed coffee before collecting Cai a couple of times and been to the beach.
That little part of my routine was something I looked forward to.
Sometimes, he’d drive us home, which was ridiculous, because we were only three blocks away from daycare, but since he got the car seat, he insisted.
He never pushed to come inside or acted as though he was entitled to more of my time than I was willing to give. He’d squeeze my hand twice at my door, make Cai laugh one more time, and head home without making me feel guilty about it.
It was easy to be around him, and I felt more like myself in his presence than I had in years.
For so long, I’d convinced myself that romance belonged to a different version of my life, one that existed before motherhood.
Wanting something or someone for myself felt indulgent when there were always a hundred other things demanding my attention first.
But Jake had taken one look at the two of us and stepped closer. He wasn’t afraid to dive into the madness. Sometimes, I thought he thrived on it.
I was suffering from distraction at its finest, though, thinking about him more than I probably should. When Cai did something funny, I had to remind myself to tell Derek too, not just Jake.
Even now, the day of his game, I wondered what his pre-game rituals were. Just as my thoughts clouded with images of dimples, broad shoulders, and entirely inappropriate memories from last weekend, Cai tapped my arm.
“Mama, no poop.”
Ah, the glamorous life of a mother.
One minute, you’re daydreaming about a sexy rugby player. The next, you’re cross-legged on a bathroom floor while a tiny human talked about poop. And though I couldn’t help but be proud of my son, I definitely wasn’t ready for the diaper refusal this morning.
“Sweetheart, can we put a diaper on right now so we can go see Unca Nighty play rugby? You wanna do that, right?” The cherry on top was that we were now running late for said game.
He hummed happily, swinging his legs on the toilet. “My need peepee.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, dragging a hand through my hair. “You can pee. That’s good. That’s…amazing. Love that for us.” I grabbed a pair of underwear instead, holding them up. “What about these? But we have to be quick, okay?”
“Big boy,” he repeated, nodding like he’d made the decision himself.
“Right,” I muttered, already moving. “You’re so grown up.”
From there, it was chaos.
Underwear on. Shorts on. A quick wipe of his hands when he decided the sink was more interesting than leaving as I brushed my hair into a ponytail.
Shoes that he insisted on putting on himself, which somehow took longer than it would’ve taken me to drive us there and back.
My bag half-packed on the counter while I threw in snacks, wipes, a spare outfit—no, four spare outfits, because I wasn’t naive—and a quiet, hopeful prayer that we’d make it through the next few hours without a full-blown disaster.
“Cai, we gotta go,” I called out, hopping on one foot while I shoved my own shoes on and simultaneously opened the rideshare app.
No cars available in car seat mode nearby. Of course that was happening.
“Cai—baby, come on.”
“I coming,” he sang back, not coming, only collecting all his truck toys he owned in his little arms.
“Pick one truck only,” I reminded him of our rules.
My phone buzzed in my hand just as I hit refresh, and Derek’s name dropped down for an incoming call. I really didn’t have time for this but answered anyway, flicking him onto speaker as I grabbed my keys and started herding Cai toward the door. “Hey, I can’t really talk right now, we’re—”
“Yeah, I won’t keep you,” he cut in. “I just wanted to let you know I found a place.”
“Daddy!” Cai shouted, hearing him.
I paused mid-step. “A place?”
“Hey, Cai, I miss you. Yeah. Near you, actually. Well, about twenty minutes out. I’m moving in two weeks.”
“Two weeks? That…That’s quick.” A dozen thoughts crashed into one another at once, none of which I could fully give my attention to when Cai was yanking my arm. I pulled open the door, hoping I had everything we needed, and locked up.
“Yeah, I have everything lined up with work, too.”
Already? Wow, that was fast. Was I prepared for this? Likely not, but I was learning to go with the flow, as Cai so astutely taught me today.
I let out a breath that didn’t settle anything. “Right. Okay. That’s okay.”
My thumb kept tapping at my phone, trying to lock in a car. I didn’t have time to fully commit to Derek’s moving date news. Still no cars.
“Maybe we can arrange something next weekend; you and Cai can come over.”
“I—” Cai darted toward the hallway, and I lunged forward, catching his hand before he got too far. “Stay with me.”
“I’d love to stay with you,” Derek said, missing the point entirely.
“Not you,” I muttered to Derek, keeping a firmer grip on Cai’s hand now.
“Sorry, I was talking to Cai. I’m just trying to get us to the game, and there aren’t any cars—Hold on—” I finally got a car option and hit confirm without even checking the driver rating.
“Okay, Cai, our ride is two minutes away.”
“You’re going to the game today?”
Cai tugged me down each step with enthusiasm I didn’t quite have the energy for.
“Yeah. Look, can we talk about this later?” When we got outside, a silver car turned onto the street, and I stepped forward, trying to hold Cai, his bag, and my phone.
Thank god, my grip was better now from holding a damn rugby ball. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “Yeah, alright.”
“Okay.” I hung up before anything else could be said, before I had time to really process any of it, and focused on getting Cai buckled in, smoothing his hair back when he leaned into me.
“Unca Nighty?” he asked, bright and excited.
I forced a smile, pressing a quick kiss to his temple as I shut the door, exhaling the stress lingering in my body. “Yeah, baby. We’re going to see Unca Nighty.”
“Mommy?”
“Yeah, Cai?”
“My need peepee.”
“Again?”
Ugh, today was gonna be a long day.