35. Chapter 35 #2
There was no way I could come out of this the same.
***
When I woke the next morning, it was to birds singing…Wait, no—that was my son’s favorite cartoon coming from the TV.
I jerked upright, hair sticking to my cheek, heart thudding like I’d been dragged out of the deepest sleep of my life.
For a few disoriented seconds, nothing lined up—the room, the light, the way my body felt like it had been taken apart and put back together by someone who knew exactly where every piece belonged.
My thighs were sore. My hips, too. A slow, molten throb pulsed low between my legs.
Nothing about that had been a dream. Heat crawled up my neck before I could stop it.
I pressed my palms to my eyes, trying to steady myself, but even that small movement tugged at muscles that had been used—thoroughly, in ways I was still recovering from.
The room still smelled like him. Like us.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed sent a sharp, satisfying ache through my core.
Inconvenient, yes. Deserved, absolutely.
I winced, then laughed under my breath, because of course this was my life now—rugby bruises and…
whatever this new category of soreness was.
I grabbed his sweatshirt and pulled it over my head.
The cartoon got louder as I padded down the hallway, but underneath it was something softer. A low murmur. A laugh that didn’t belong to a toddler.
I slowed, leaning around the wall.
Cai was curled into Jake’s side on the couch, his little body tucked against him like he’d decided Jake was a perfectly acceptable piece of furniture. His curls were a wild halo against Jake’s arm, one small hand fisted in the front of his shirt like he’d claimed him overnight.
Jake looked like he’d been built for that exact spot. Leaning back, relaxed. One arm around Cai, fingers tracing absentminded patterns along his back.
This was a surprising sight. One that I did not expect to see this morning.
The floor creaked softly under my foot, and Jake’s head lifted, eyes finding mine.
“Morning,” he murmured, voice low so he wouldn’t disturb how calm Cai seemed to be.
Cai turned at the sound, blinking sleepily before his whole face lit up. “Mommy.”
I crossed the room and brushed my hand over his curls. “Hi, baby.”
He leaned into my touch, then immediately burrowed back into Jake’s side. Jake’s hand steadied him automatically.
“You two okay?” I asked, trying for casual and failing miserably. My heart was a leaping deer in my chest.
Jake’s mouth curved as he took in my outfit, giving me a wink. “We’re good. He was up early. I didn’t want to wake you.”
My throat tightened. “Thank you.”
He shrugged one shoulder, but his eyes softened again. “I told you before, he’s got the top spot of my favorite people. Isn’t that right, little man?”
Jake held out his fist, only for Cai to cabbage him by placing his whole tiny hand over the top. Their shared giggles lit up a part of me I didn’t know had been so cold and lonely. This was Jake being good with my kid. My son, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Nice sweatshirt, by the way. You can keep that one,” he whispered, eyes flicking over me in a way that wasn’t remotely subtle about the fact that I looked like I’d been…well, thoroughly occupied the night before.
I cleared my throat, feeling my cheeks flush. Did I have the ability to talk today or not?
“You ready for breakfast?”
I nodded, hoping it’d reset my mind. “Uh. Yeah, shall I make something?”
Cai perked up at the word breakfast, lifting his head from Jake’s chest. “Pancakes?”
Jake huffed a soft laugh. “You like pancakes, buddy?”
Cai nodded so eagerly his curls bounced. Then he wriggled fast, suddenly full of toddler purpose. “I help!”
Jake smiled at him. “Yeah? You wanna be my sous-chef? We can give Mommy a break from cooking.”
Cai nodded again, already sliding off the couch, not having any idea what a sous-chef was but enthusiastic anyway.
Jake stood too, stretching a little, revealing a sneak of the abs I knew hid under his shirt, then offered Cai his hand, who grabbed it without hesitation, tugging him toward the kitchen. I had become redundant, but I couldn’t deny that it was nice to have breakfast made for us.
I followed, leaning against the doorway as Jake lifted Cai onto the counter, one big hand steady at his back, making sure he didn’t wobble.
“Okay,” Jake said, opening a cupboard with his free hand. “We need flour, eggs, milk…and a whisk. You know what a whisk is, Cai?”
Cai pointed at the drawer. “There.”
Jake opened it, eyebrows raised. “Oh, you’re good.”
Cai giggled, delighted.
“This isn’t his first rodeo. He happens to be a seasoned pancake chef.”
I found the mixing bowl and other ingredients, then couldn’t help but watch them, something warm and terrifying and hopeful swelling in my chest.
Jake cracked an egg into the bowl, then glanced over his shoulder at me. “You wanna do the next one?”
I stepped forward, brushing my fingers against his as I reached for the egg. His eyes softened before he went to wrap an arm around me and hesitated.
His hand hovered for a second to rest it on my waist. It was as though he’d done before without thinking, but instead, his fingers curled back toward himself.
Cai was babbling to the whisk, oblivious.
He cleared his throat softly, eyes flicking to my face, then to Cai, then back again. “There’s something I wanted to check,” he murmured, low enough that it didn’t pull Cai’s attention. “I don’t wanna overstep in front of him. You should decide how we are here.”
My heart thudded once, hard.
He kept his voice gentle. “I should’ve asked after the game the other day.” His jaw flexed, like he was trying to find the right words. “I shouldn’t have assumed anything. Or made things weird for you.”
The bowl wobbled in my hands, but Jake steadied it instantly, not touching me, just the bowl. He was giving me space to choose.
Cai smacked the spoon against the counter and announced, “Mixing!”
Jake smiled at him, then looked back at me, waiting.
I swallowed, the warmth in my chest spreading in a slow, steady bloom. “You’re okay,” I said quietly. “I’ve never had to, uh, navigate this before.”
“I’m not gonna lie and say that doesn’t make me feel good, because it does. I like that you trust me to be here.”
I did. He was so familiar to me and never gave me any reason to doubt him.
“I do trust you, and so does he, which makes all of this a lot easier.”
His shoulders eased, and his smile grew.
“Yeah?” he asked, voice barely above a breath.
“Yeah.” It surprised me how sure I was. Because I did want him—not just in the heat of a night that still echoed through my body, but in the small, ordinary ways that stitched themselves into a day. The casual touches, the familiar closeness, the way he gravitated toward me without thinking.
He didn’t touch me right away. He gave me a second, and I could tell he wanted to be absolutely sure. This sweet, thoughtful man had so many layers, and I wanted to show him that I was keen to keep him here. I placed my hand in his and pulled it around my shoulders, nestling into his warm body.
“Okay?” I asked, making sure he was also fine with it all.
“More than okay,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head as Cai used the whisk as a vehicle, making the noises in front of us.
By the time breakfast was finished, Jake had disappeared for a shower while I cleaned up the kitchen. Cai was busy emptying his toy basket beside the couch, determined to spread everything out.
I was loading the last plate into the dishwasher, when two big arms snaked around my middle and pulled me back against a warm chest.
“Hi,” he said against my neck, pressing his lips to my skin.
Tingles broke out all over my body. “Hey.”
He smelled like my shower gel, and I could hardly form a thought because I’d never had a guy smell like me before. It was ridiculous that of all the things Jake had done to me, the sexy man in my apartment using my candy scented soap was my downfall.
“I hope you’re smiling because of me.”
“I am.” I turned in his arms and rose up to press my lips against his. He smiled against my mouth before deepening the kiss, settling his hands underneath his sweatshirt I was still wearing.
Across the room, Cai made noises before his truck crashed and he flopped dramatically to the floor. Jake snuffed a laugh, stealing my coffee.
“How are you feeling about your first game next week?” he asked.
Excited, scared, worried. Yep, all of that.
“It’s a big deal, and I’m trying to keep a calm head. I have to show a lot of people I’m worth the investment.”
He grinned wide, pushing his hand into my hair, then letting it settle on my jaw.
“I can’t wait to see you out there, showing people how it’s done.
” I watched as his gaze tracked my face, biting his bottom lip, and I felt like a sheep stuck in a wolf’s trap, right in the palm of his hand.
“In fact,” he said, swallowing hard. “I can’t wait for everyone to see what I already know. ”
My stomach did a little flip. “And what’s that?”
“That you’re incredible.”