Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Max
Fuck. This was not how I wanted to leave things with her. My fingers itched to reach for the door handle and go after her, but my phone rang. It was Liz’s ringtone. Double fuck.
Picking up the phone I swiped it. “What is it, Liz? I don’t have time to talk.”
There was a silent pause and I let out a long breath.
“What happened?” she asked and it was as if she knew.
It was the thing she dreaded, the one thing she felt most guilty about, even more than cheating on me and more than separating the twins from their father, albeit with generous custody terms. She knew the vasectomy might be trouble for my future relationships. We’d both known.
“Not talking about it. What did you call about?”
“I have an important showing this afternoon. I promised my boss I’d do it for her—it’s a ten-million-dollar townhouse on Beacon Hill and gorgeous.
Mom will bring the girls to your place—I hope you don’t mind if I give her the key.
” I held my tongue. The damage was done, but I would damn sure be changing my locks.
“Get to the point.”
“She can only stay until noon. Can you get home by then?”
“Sure. I’ll be there. I miss the tempest and the teapot.” It was true and I needed to get out of here, to get some separation between me and the redheaded temptation.
“You’re the best, Max. You truly are.” I snorted, knowing better. She paused a beat and added in a quieter voice, “And I hope you can fix whatever went wrong.”
I didn’t respond to that though I knew her care was genuine.
“Good luck on your showing, Liz.” We ended the call and I tossed the phone aside.
Packing my bags was easy because I didn’t care if anything was folded or orderly.
My housekeeper would straighten it out later and it would all get dry-cleaned or laundered and back in the closet.
Dressing in a sky blue polo, faded jeans and sneakers, I took a quick look in the mirror at my stubble and then at the clock on the nightstand.
I didn’t have time for a shave. Wouldn’t have time for much of anything but a quick bite, a good-luck wish to Hunter and Cat ,and a see-you-later to the guys.
But it wouldn’t feel right if I left Natalie without talking, without some kind of fucking closure.
Whatever that looked like. Grabbing my phone and my room key, I headed down to the brunch.
It was in an atrium restaurant with a small waterfall and the smell of coffee wafting powerfully and enticingly.
I was only fifteen minutes late and I automatically looked around for Natalie, my gut clenching when I didn’t see her at first.
What if she was crying in her room? What if I’d broken her heart and she was hurting too much to come to brunch?
I looked around and swore under my breath, knowing it was more likely she hated my guts because I was the asshole who went to bed with her knowing full well it couldn’t be anything more than a one-night-stand and knowing full well that she wanted—deserved so much more from me.
Worst of all, I was the asshole who hadn’t told her about the vasectomy before I took her to my room because I was selfish enough, taken enough with her, if I wanted to be honest, to throw away my own rulebook. I fucked up big time.
As I headed for the coffee, I surveyed the tables on the other side of the waterfall, and there she was.
The sight of her, sitting with her friends laughing, looking like a dream dressed in a wild-ass tropical dress, hair gorgeously curling and soft, should have relieved me.
But she had all kinds of other effects on me and my cock, and I needed to get control of my shit and my head before I approached her.
There wasn’t a shadow of doubt in my mind that I needed to have a one-on-one with her, so I walked straight for her, foregoing my coffee.
Coming up from behind her, I smiled at Cat, who saw me first.
“Congratulations, Mrs. Quintanna. You look exactly like a glowing bride.”
“Then maybe you should be congratulating Mr. Quintanna,” Natalie quipped without missing a beat. Cat laughed. She stood and we kissed on the cheek.
“Why don’t I leave you two? I have to see what Hunter is up to and say hello to everyone.” With that, Cat left me standing over Natalie, who looked up at me with a clear question in her eyes. A question I had no answer to, at least not one that she was going to like.
“I see you made it,” she said.
“We need to talk.” I still had no idea what I would say. She gestured to the chair opposite her, but I ignored it and sat at the chair next to her, my back to the room.
“I’m sorry, Natalie.”
The distress on her face belied her attempt to roll her eyes and her light voice when she spoke. “For what? You gave me one of the best nights of my life, Max. What more could a girl want, right?”
I took her hand. “We both know you deserve more than that. More than I have. I truly wish it were different, if that means anything. We have . . . a real connection.”
She stared with her big blue eyes growing watery, but her jaw had a determined set and she turned away. She choked out her words. “So you say—I mean about me deserving more than you have.”
I shook my head, knowing she would go there, knowing she might talk herself into believing it.
And being okay with it. For now. But she was young and had no perspective, no idea how such decisions could have far-reaching implications in life.
And I did. I’d learned the hard way how irretrievable mistakes could be made by seemingly good, reasonable decisions.
Taking her chin in my hand I turned her to face me. “You can’t mean that. You’re too young and beautiful to waste a second thought on me. Certainly don’t waste any tears, honey.”
“Don’t call me honey. Not unless you mean it.” Her flash of anger was a relief and made me smile. I put up my hands.
“You’re right. I have no business calling you honey. Had no business taking you to bed without telling you first—”
“Max, don’t. I’m not a child. If you’d told me, we would have ended up in the same place. I’m . . . upset because you . . . trashed our chance at a relationship before it started, without giving me any say in it, thinking for me as if I was stupid or na?ve or—”
“You’re right. I know it seems that way. But I’m right, Red.”
“So you think. But what if you’re not?”
I took a long breath. I hadn’t expected her to be so convincingly reasonable, so adamant.
“We’ve only known each other for what—a long weekend? It’s not—”
“Not what, Max? Not worth the trouble of trying?” Now there was a touch of hurt mixed with her anger and I couldn’t let her think that was how I felt, even if that wasn’t what I had been about to say.
“No. I can’t lie to you. I think you’re worth a whole lot. I think we have spectacular chemistry and I know that’s rare and worth—would be worth exploring if I didn’t have—”
“Don’t even say it. You aren’t deformed or something.”
I took a deep breath and leaned in. “I’m not the one for you, Red. That’s all there is to it.”
Not caring who saw me, I kissed her on the mouth, a lingering goodbye, tender more than passionate, then I stood.
She watched me and I wasn’t sure if she would follow me, wasn’t sure what I’d do if she did, whether maybe I wanted her to.
But she didn’t. I saw her eyes glitter until I turned away and headed back to my room.
Taking an extra few minutes because I needed it, I stood in line to pick up a coffee to go in the lobby after I came back downstairs with my bag. I ran into Hunter.
“Taking off?”
“Yeah, time to get back to Tori and Trish.”
“Can’t compete with that, man. Thanks for being here.”
“Wouldn’t miss it. You take care of Cat. See you back on the field.”
“Will do.” He saluted me as was the custom of a lot of the guys on the team.
Taking my bag, I turned down the valet, slipping him a ten anyway, and walked out to the parking lot headed for my car.
The day was sunny and warm, a perfect spring day.
Too bad I was in no mood to enjoy it. I hefted the bag into the back of my Land Rover, then got inside.
My Ray-Bans in place, I punched the ignition. And then I sat.
It felt a hell of a lot like I was leaving behind a sunny world inhabited by the likes of Natalie Singer, returning to a gray existence only intermittently brightened by my two little treasures.
How the hell did a guy try and reconcile these two worlds?
Especially a guy with a deal-killing handicap like the one I had.
No more babies. How the hell did a guy lay that burden on a young woman and not feel guilty the rest of his life?
This was going to be a long fucking drive. The rest of my life? I’d only just met Natalie so why the hell was I thinking like this? What the hell happened to taking things one step at a time?
I didn’t know, but she was so all-in, it was hard to imagine anything but the finish line ahead with her. These were my thoughts when I pulled out of my space and drove past the row of cars, up until I heard a horn beep loud and long.
It was the midnight blue Mustang to my right. And the driver was a stunning redhead. Natalie. She got out of her car and looked around, saw my car and waved—until she saw it was me. Then she crumpled, sagged against the car, and tried to maintain her smile.
I knew she was holding back tears, that there was something wrong, so I pulled my car over and got out.
“What’s wrong, Red?”
“My car won’t start.” Her voice was strained to the limit, wobbly and high.
“We can handle this. Let me try.” I walked over to her where she stood in the open driver’s door.
“I love this car. It was the first thing I bought for myself and I’d saved up so long and hard for it. I know it’s old, but—”