Chapter 21 #2
“I’m glad.” The relief I felt was real, my smile automatic. “Do you have a plan? How do you go from player to coach? Will you be able to get a coaching job for next season?”
“I’m exploring that. At some point, I’ll be talking to my agent. But I figure I should talk to the Militia management first. See if they have any use for me.”
“Smart. I bet they already have their eye on you for coaching. Coach Marini is a smart man. He’s a little overbearing at times and ridiculously single-minded, but he’s fair and a genius at what he does. I bet he’ll give you a chance. You want me to talk to Cat—“
“No, don’t do that. Don’t say anything to anyone. This is between you and me.” He paused a beat and I cursed myself for my big mouth.
“I’m sorry, Max. Of course I wouldn’t dream of saying a word to anyone. I promise.”
“I haven’t said a word to anyone else about this except you. I seem to be making a habit of confiding in you. Not sure what that means.”
“It means I’m easy to talk to because I’m fascinated by you.” Because I’m falling for you. Thank god I wasn’t so out of control that I said those words out loud. But I felt them down to my toes.
“That may be true, Red, but it doesn’t change the state of my life.”
Boom. And there it was. Back to the crux of the problem at hand, the one between us, or the potential us.
“What are you trying to say? You don’t want to see me? After we just—“
“It’s not like that.”
“What is it like, Max?” He didn’t answer me right away, instead, pulling off the highway at the New Hampshire State Liquor store just after the state line. He parked the car in the lot far away from the store or any other cars and then faced me. My heart pounded, frustration welled up in me.
“It’s casual. I can see you when I can, but I can’t make promises.
I don’t blame you if that’s not what you want, if you need more from a relationship.
You deserve more. You deserve everything.
You deserve the kind of commitment I can’t give you.
” He heaved a breath. “You deserve children of your own, Natalie.”
“Never mind about the kids,” I said, unbelievably.
But for the moment, I was over that hurdle.
“About the commitment, Max. You can’t commit now?
Or ever?” I needed him to break my heart all the way if he was going to do it.
I didn’t want to be broken piece by piece.
My insides clenched in protest at my mouth’s inability to stay shut.
“Now. Or ever. I couldn’t stand to have you wait for me. I can’t give you what you want. You’re too young and vital to settle for a guy with baggage.”
“You sure I shouldn’t be the one to decide if I can handle your baggage?”
“Positive.”
“Is there any such thing as a man without baggage?” I screamed. “The answer is no. No there isn’t.”
Then he said the one thing a man should never say to a woman when she’s upset.
“Calm down—“
I slapped him across the face, a quick stinging slap that took him by surprise and stunned us both into silence.
I immediately regretted it and opened my mouth to apologize.
His face was pink on one side and his eyes went from shocked to angry to…
something I wasn’t sure about until he reached for me.
He folded me into his arms and kissed me silly.
All hot and bothered and past the point of no return, I kissed him back, telling him how sorry I was in between nibbles until he sucked my tongue into his mouth stopping me.
When he finally let my mouth go, my breathing was out of control, but I hung onto my head and my resolve to make him understand.
The car’s windows were steamy and he sat half straddled across the console between us, still holding onto me. I let go of him because someone had to do something.
“The car’s not going to drive itself,” I said. He quirked one side of his mouth and backed up enough to gaze into my eyes.
“You’re not off the hook that easy.”
“Who said I was on the hook?” I hadn’t burned through my sassy mood yet, not even with my remorse over the slap.
I trailed a finger lightly across his face, the rough unshaven surface tantalizingly male.
Seconds slipped by while he studied me and I waited him out, hoped I hadn’t discouraged him, but needing to be who I was and share my emotions, even my frustration in all its glory.
He was an adult and he could deal. Or not.
Getting up the courage to meet his eyes, I lifted my chin, about to say… something, when he spoke instead.
“You can’t move in with me,” he said.
“Who said I wanted to,” I said. My brain froze and my heart stopped, but not my mouth.
“Why wouldn’t you?”
I smiled. “Is that an offer?”
He took in a deep breath, looked at his hands and then looked at me sideways.
“What if it is?”
“I’d say… I have conditions.” I had no idea where I was getting the balls, then I remembered, yeah, I was born ballsy.
He grinned then. “I’d expect nothing less.” He lowered his voice, “So do I.”
“Then it’s a deal,” I said, knowing when I’d been out-maneuvered. I had no conditions, nothing but adoration and admiration and a dash of nerve. But I knew good chemistry and a strong connection when I felt it. And I especially knew a wonderful decent man when I met him.
He did a double-take. “Don’t you think we should wait until we get to know each other better?”
“I think it would be the most efficient way to get to know each other.”
He waited another beat, scrutinizing me. “Can’t argue with that logic.”
“Aren’t you worried I’m a gold-digger?”
He laughed. “You ever hear the saying about people who marry for money—“
“You mean the one about how they earn every penny?”
He nodded his head. “You’re smart enough to know that. Though I bet you are a hard worker.”
I laughed. “It’s not work if you love doing it.”
He shook his head. “You’re incorrigible.”
“What?” I started chuckling then and then laughing and I was so giddy with satisfaction and joy that I was afraid I wouldn’t stop any time soon.
“Nothing. Except I bet I can out work you any time.” He pulsed his brows as if.
And that sent me over the edge of pleasure and laughter.
When I threw myself into his arms this time, he held me and laughed with me until we both settled down into a soft, soothing kiss, the kind that I knew was even more romantic than the kind in From Here to Eternity, because it was real and full of promise.
# The End #