4. Dylan
Chapter four
Dylan
“All partied out?” I ask, dropping into a chair in front of the fire pit, across from Dee. Dominic and Ellie’s vow renewal ended several hours ago, the small party now in full swing, with everyone lingering around the food in the kitchen.
I made my way outside to steal a moment of quiet.
I was so distracted by the sky, painted with orange, pink, and purple streaks as the sun lowers closer to the tree line along the perimeter of Dom and Ellie’s backyard, that I almost missed Dee sitting alone around the fire.
I catch a look on her face that has my intuition flaring to life. “What’s wrong?”
Her mask effortlessly slips back into place. Relaxed shoulders, wide smile…but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Whatever strain remains, she can’t hide it completely. At least not from me.
“Me? Partied out? Not possible. It’s like you don’t even know me anymore.”
I wait. Unsure how to approach this. Dee and I don’t normally do serious. Teasing barbs and playful joking? Sure. But for once, she doesn’t look up for it. Her defenses are down and I have no idea why.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s none of my business.” I shrug, trying to play it off like I’m not actually worried. “But you don’t exactly seem yourself tonight.”
She huffs, rolling her light brown eyes before meeting mine in a challenge. “Dylan, are you going soft on me?”
I smirk, because the brat just couldn’t help herself. But I see the light coming back into her eyes, so I won’t push. I’ll give her exactly what she expects from me. Keep it light, playful. “Oh, honey, going soft isn’t ever something you need to worry about with me.”
She laughs that full-bodied laugh that always does something to my stomach. The warmth melting into my chest, making my head swim. She tucks her dark brown hair behind her ear, the soft curls just barely hitting her shoulders. “What a gift to society you are.”
The light drains from her eyes as quickly as it reappeared, and she’s left looking…exhausted.
I clear my throat and adjust in my chair. “Okay, well, you know you could talk to me. If you wanted to, I mean. Not like you need to.”
A soft smile tugs at the side of her lip. “Are you trying to have a heart-to-heart?”
“Fuck off.” I laugh with her. “Forget I said anything.”
Her laugh tapers off as she studies me. I take a drink and start peeling the label off my beer, unsure how to handle her focused attention.
“Thank you for asking,” she says, surprising me. “Sorry I couldn’t make it easy for you.”
“That just doesn’t feel like you.”
“No.” She shakes her head, grinning. “That doesn’t sound like me at all.”
“Seriously, what’s brought the queen of sass and mayhem down?”
Dee takes a deep breath, letting her head fall against the reclined back of the Adirondack chair, and closes her eyes. “I got laid off,” she admits softly.
I sit up. “No shit.”
She laughs again, without humor this time. “Yes. Shit.”
Dee’s been at Keller’s as long as I’ve known her, meaning she has to have been there at least…
“Eight years. All that effort. All that ass-kissing. All that fighting the glass ceiling. And for what?” Her head rolls to the side, eyes meeting mine, still soft with defeat.
Something I never see in Dee. “It’s fine.
I’ll figure it out,” she says, waving her hand dismissively.
“But it happened three weeks ago, and I didn’t want to spoil Ellie and Dom’s vow renewal with everyone’s fussing. ”
“There would be fussing,” I agreed.
“Loads of it.” Her smile is sad now, like she couldn’t possibly stand it if her friends were worried about her.
I get it. The only thing worse than going through shit, is having people watch you go through that shit, knowing there’s nothing they can do to fix it for you.
She shakes her head and laughs bitterly.
“I’m sorry, Dee.”
“What? No jokes? No digs? No nothing? You are going soft on me.”
“I’m not an asshole.”
“Never said you were, but this is us. I expected more from you. At the minimum, a sarcastic comment would do. But instead, I have to learn that you have empathy. Ugh, it’s freaking me out.”
“You’re right. Forgive me, I’m not at my best. Give me a few days and I’ll come up with some unemployment humor. My reserves are low.”
“Just like my bank account! Hey-oooooh!” She reaches out for a fist bump, which I give her.
“So, the bartending. That isn’t just a side gig, huh?”
“Nope. That is the full gig right now. Until they fire me.” I raise my eyebrows at that. “Let’s just say I’m not exactly a natural. I’m on thin ice as is,” she explains.
“Your job. My apartment. Don’t we have it all together? Living the dream,” I say sarcastically.
“Wait, what happened with your apartment?”
“You didn’t hear?” She shakes her head. “My landlord gave me a thirty-day notice. He’s selling the apartment I’m leasing to a family member and moving out of state to take care of another relative.
I haven’t found anything yet, so…” I shrug.
“I guess we both have some things to figure out. I’m checking out a few more apartments this week. ”
Dee doesn’t say anything. Just gives me this confused look, her forehead wrinkling before her entire face lights up, a giant grin taking the place of those pouty lips. “I think I just got the best idea in the entire fucking world.”
“Well, shit. Now I’m scared,” I mumble, before taking another drink.
“Wait. Hear me out,” she pleads, arms splayed out in front of her, like she’s about to map it out for me. “This could be good for both of us.”
“First of all, it wouldn’t be good. It would be fucking great. Damn, Deanna. How many times are you going to hit on me tonight?”
“Trust me, you’d know if I was hitting on you. I’m not exactly subtle.”
“You don’t say. Sorry, signals must have gotten crossed.” I shrug. “Maybe I need to see what your version of flirting looks like so I know when you finally cave in to your desperation.”
Her eyes narrow. “What’s the plan then?” she asks, now full of life and energy, a completely different Dee in front of me now than when I first sat down.
“Living on couches and keeping everything in a storage unit for months? Come on, Dylan. We’re both at the mercy of the universe…
big transitional shit is happening here.
My Saturn return is next month, that can’t be helping. ”
I stare at her.
“The fuck is happening next month?”
She rolls her eyes. “You have so much to learn.”
“You lost me, Dee.”
“Isn’t it obvious? You need an apartment, and I could really use a roommate to split rent with while I find another job.”
My jaw drops. “You aren’t serious.”
“Dead serious,” she says, raising her eyebrows. Defeated Dee is long gone, and determined, persistent, never-gives-up-the-fight Dee has arrived.
Dee lives in a nice apartment building, just a couple of blocks away from mine. Well, the one I have to be out of in….oh, I don’t know…twelve days. Do I really have a legitimate argument for why I shouldn’t be jumping on this offer?
My gut twists at the thought of sharing my space with Dee. Yeah, there might be a reason or two that would make this a stupid thing to agree to.
But what fucking choice do I have? I don’t want her struggling to afford rent or depleting all her savings trying to stay in her apartment while she finds a new job.
Am I really considering this?
“I’m not sure you’d want to share your space with me day in and day out,” I say.
“What are you talking about?”
“Please, you’re always giving me shit.” And you’d have more ammunition to do so if you knew what living with me was like.
“Yeah, and you throw it right back. That’s what we do, right?” She looks genuinely confused.
I give her a long look, my words caught in my throat. She really doesn’t get it.
Because I know deep down that if Dee and I spent any real time together, time alone, that she’ll see more of me than I ever intend to share with anyone.
If I get overwhelmed or stressed, which is impossible to avoid forever, I won’t be able to keep her from seeing what that does to me.
What will she think of me when she knows I struggle with OCD?
Dee isn’t someone who you can hold back from what she wants. If she wants to see me, she will. But I can’t say no to the lifeline she’s offering me.
Knowing I’ll most likely regret this, I nod. “I’m in.”