15. Malcolm
Just tackle him.
It takes me less than a minute to decide what I’m going to do—tackle Eric Sanders, right here in the middle of this game. My pads feel heavier than they usually do, and my helmet is constrictive, but I focus. As if in slow motion, we head to the ten-yard line, only four seconds left, ball in our possession. I don’t have to tackle him. It would be redundant at this point in the play and would probably look too obvious. But this is my only chance.
I get into position and feel the rough turf against my fingers as I steady myself. Sweat stings my eyes as I scan the defensive line in front of me, eyes landing on my target. A rush of heat builds up under my sternum, pulsing down to my hands and feet as we wait for the snap.
Everyone is in position, and my foot twitches in anticipation.
A whistle sounds, blasting my eardrum into the back of my head.
I’m catapulted out of my daydream and back to reality, where Coach Daniels stands next to me, the students making their way onto the practice field. I snatch the whistle out of Daniels’ hand and make my way to center field. With him on my heels, I take a deep breath and try to let the disappointment from my unfinished daydream fizzle away.
Eric is here. Of course he is. And of course he wants to see Kate. Apparently, every romantically available coach wants to see Kate, based on the cringey small talk I had to endure with Daniels earlier.
“Is she seeing anyone? You think she’d be up for getting dinner?” he asked me like I was her relationship bouncer, as if I held the control over her romantic life. Trust me, Daniels, if I had the control, I wouldn’t be here running this scrimmage right now. I’d be with her. Alone.
“Alright, everyone, huddle up!” A sea of padded-up students follows us out to the fifty-yard line, splitting up into their respective teams. “We’ll start with basic formation drills, green and red going first. Blue team, start on special skills and tackles.”
The teams separate, getting into position, with Daniels stepping to the red team side, and I stay with the green. The afternoon goes by in a blur as we run through play after play.
“Coach?” Devon is slouched over on all fours, heaving breaths in between his words. “You tryna kill us?” He attempts a smile, but it quickly fades as he winces and rolls onto his back.
A few other Glendale students follow suit, buckling to their knees and hitting the ground one by one. Students from other schools take note of this, assuming it as permission to collapse onto the turf for a break, and join them. Their faces are a mix of pain and despair as they look at me expectantly. A part of me wants to revel in it, the feeling of bringing them to a breaking point swelling me with pride. But I shake it, reminding myself they’re just kids, and this isn’t boot camp. Just football.
“Alright, alright.” Sweat builds underneath my hat, and my neck stings from the sun, reminding me how long we’ve been out here. “Let’s call it a day!” My voice carries across the field as I wave my hands at them, submitting to their pleas.
“Don’t forget dinner tonight! It’s luau themed!” Daniels calls out to them as they trickle their way to the locker rooms. He’s reviewing the camp schedule on his phone as we follow behind.
“Thanks for your help this afternoon.” I rake the sweat through my hair.
“No, thank you. I’ve already learned so much. Your coaching style is really something to be admired, Geer.”
I wince at the compliment and mumble, “Thanks.” Daniels is a nice guy, and it would really suck to have to hate him because he has a crush on the woman of my dreams. I might be having a heat stroke, but I feel a sudden urge to be honest with this guy I’ve known for less than twenty-four hours. “Listen…” I pause as we stand outside the locker room door. “About Ms. Stanley… I know you’re interested in her, but she—”
“Don’t worry about it, man.” Holding his hand up, he says, “I didn’t realize you were into her, or I wouldn’t have even asked.”
“I’m not—”
“Geer.” He gives me an incredulous look.
I let out a sigh, the weight of my feelings forcing themselves out of me like a blast.
His eyes are curious as he asks the age-old question, “Does she know?”
“I don’t know. Or she does and wants to let me down easy.” I bite back the sound of defeat in my voice and stand up straighter. “Either way, I plan on telling her after camp.”
“Why after camp? Why put something like this off?” he asks.
I shake my head. Sharing with people makes me uncomfortable. And sharing about this? I’d rather listen to Bill tell me about his hip surgery a thousand times than talk about this. But if I can’t share, what makes me think I can tell Kate how I feel about her?
Daniels pockets his phone and patiently waits for me to continue. He’s young and seems fairly innocent, so I can’t assume he would understand my response, but I say it anyway. I have to put it out there so maybe I don’t feel as crazy. “It’s pathetic.” I let out a breath. Just say it, Geer. “Of all the things in my life, Kate Stanley is the one that makes the most sense. For some hairball reason, that woman is it for me. It has to be perfect.” My expectations weigh on me like a brick, threatening to crush my windpipe. I stutter a whisper, “I—I can’t mess it up.”
“That’s not pathetic, man.” He pats my back and leads the way past the locker room and back toward the hotel. “That’s real.” His face twists for a moment before regaining his composure. Are real feelings a painful topic for this guy too?
“You don’t want to miss your chance, do you?” He nods in the direction north of us, toward a group of coaches and assistants heading in the same direction. Adjusting my hat to shade my eyes, I focus my gaze on a head of dark, bouncy curls in the center. The sun hits her olive skin perfectly, creating a glow of honey around her in a unique blend of color. It makes me sick, all this poetic nonsense I think when it comes to her. She’s just so damn beautiful my thoughts get sappy. She laughs at something, and her smile lights up her face more than the sun does. Seeing it sends a stabbing pain right into the center of my chest.
“Coach Geer!” Dawson waves us over to join the group as they migrate toward the hotel. We walk their way, and I try not to indulge myself too much in witnessing the whiplash Kate has at the mention of my name. Eyes on me, Kate.
“Dawson”—I shake his hand—“this is Coach Daniels. He’s with East Central.” They make pleasantries as we join the group and head inside.
A familiar hand grips my wrist, tugging me closer to her. “How was your scrimmage?” Kate asks, moving her sunglasses to the top of her head. Her brown eyes always turn a hint of auburn in the sun, and something about that squeezes my insides so tight that it’s hard to breathe. Hell, it’s hard to breathe around her most of the time anyway. It’s like I’m just waiting for her to find her way to me, and the longer it takes, parts of me start to wither away. Again, sappy. But if I’m being honest, it’s like these major parts of me are slowly being crushed under the weight of longing for her.
“It was brutal!” Daniels answers her, snapping me out of my sappy trance. “I’m telling ya, this guy is hardcore. I’ve already learned so much from him.” He pats me on the back, a small smirk playing on the side of his face at his nonchalance.
“Malcolm is a great coach!” Kate links her arm around mine as we walk. “He’s also such a good sport—” Her words halt as she accidentally distracts herself with my bicep, tracing it with her fingers for a moment then pulling back as if I’ve burned her. Staring at my arm, her eyes widen a tiny bit before she hesitantly rests her hand back down to her side. Real subtle, Kate. Clearing her throat, she forces her eyes back up to me and Daniels, “He’s, um, dressing up for the luau tonight.”
“I’m what?” I eye her, clearly confused. This is news to me.
“Dressing up. We all are!” She beams up at me.
“Please don’t make me,” I groan.
“I would never make you. I would just…” She bites her lip, a smile threatening to break through.
“Guilt me until I cave.”
Batting her eyes and puffing out her bottom lip, she stops us midstep. “Is it working?”
“Oh, it’s working alright!” Daniels calls over his shoulder with a wave. Just when I thought I could like that guy.
Kate tilts her chin up at me as pride billows off her in waves. She thinks she’s already won this argument. I still haven’t agreed to anything. She nods toward Daniels’ silhouette as he walks through the glass door. “So, is that your new best friend? I mean, I don’t mind.” She shrugs. “I just want two weeks” notice if I’m going to lose my spot as your right-hand lady.” She gives me a playful wink, but I see right through it. A flicker of concern flashes in her eyes at the possibility of her being replaced.
I reach for the waistband of her shorts, tugging her toward me by the belt loop until we’re inches apart, face to face. Her curls that are tied in two knots on the top of her head loosen at the momentum. “You are irreplaceable, Kate.” I decide to grow a pair and make a move—a small one, but a move nonetheless. With her belt loop still in hand, I graze my thumb under the hem of her shirt and trace a line across the curve of her hip. She doesn’t swat me away. That’s a good sign. “I will never find anyone as good as you.”
She lets out a slow, shaky breath and says, “Me neither.”
“But I’m not dressing up.”