Chapter 5 #3
‘Well, let’s be honest, I was starting from a pretty low ebb after that dickhead – argh!
Anyway, we’re not talking about that, and Nancy, stop being all serious.
I’m good. We don’t need to talk about anything other than joyous things, like a glass of the wine I stole from twat face’s special vintage collection or the champagne you brought. ’
‘Oooh, Liza, I’m impressed. Hit me up with a glass of chilled Chablis, then, please.
But, before we forget to do this later because we are too pissed, can we just pause a moment and consider this reality.
Look at you, all rosy-cheeked and countrified within less than a week of arriving in rural bliss, and you took the best thing about Henry with you – his wine.
Pink boots aside, you look like you can get away with being here. ’
Gulping down some wine, she tried to hide the sting of tears Nancy’s words had created.
She was not going to cry! God, she loved her best friend.
‘You think this is good, wait until you meet my new farmer friends. That reminds me, do you fancy a night in or can I tempt you with a night out – Farmington style?’
‘Er, hello? Night out, obviously. But please tell me it’s not with a bunch of crusty old farmers.’
Gesturing with her glass she held up her hand, ‘My farmers are not crusty. In fact, I think I love them all.’
‘Oh Jesus,’ muttered Nancy, downing her wine almost in one gulp, ‘refill!’
Eliza laughed, pouring her another glass. ‘Not like that, they must all be well into their sixties, but they’re so charming, and they even wear dungarees. And one of them is the father of the hot, half-naked, wild-swimming dude I spied the other day. Who, I will quickly add, is also a farmer.’
‘And the name of the hot young famer is?’
‘Luke,’ sighed Eliza, ‘his name is Luke. Do you believe in love at first sight?’
‘I believe in lust at first sight, which considering you were completely heartbroken last week, drinking me out of house and home, I think would be a great thing! A bit of healthy lust is definitely called for – he must be really hot!’
‘He is! Here I was, all alone, wondering how to fill my days, and then suddenly I found him, butt naked in my river. It’s like a Disney movie!’
‘If Disney movies were all about shagging hot men to make your ex rue the day.’ Nancy gave her that look, the whole ‘do we need to talk about this or are you just experiencing a mini-breakdown and need a cheerleader’ look. Then she made her decision and nodded. ‘Okay, I think you’re ready.’
‘Ready for what?’
‘A rebound. A proper one, not just something we joke about, but a real, honest to God, no holds barred, no commitment, no wedding planning – rebound. Look at you! How happy you are one week into moving to Farmington. Maybe what you need is to mix things up a bit.’
‘A proper rebound?’ Eliza found the concept incredibly exciting – sure she’d joked about it, but actually following through?
Nancy grinned wolfishly. ‘So, will he be at the party tonight then?’
‘Well,’ giggled Eliza, ‘as luck would have it, he will. And by there, I mean he will be joining us for karaoke in the local pub. All the farmers who took part in the ploughing contest are going to be there – it’s the prize giving. And that would include Luke.’
‘Karaoke in deepest darkest Farmington, this is my dream night out. You know me, the more random the better. More importantly, is there anyone for me to duet with? As we know, you and I will never sing together again after our disastrous attempt at university. Even the fact that we had downed a bottle of vodka can’t excuse that performance.
I had no idea it was possible for anyone to be as tone-deaf as you. ’
Eliza tried to control her giggles. ‘Aha, Nancy! But I pulled that night, and you did not!’
‘Oh, please, we all know it was a pity shag from the event organiser. Although to be fair, Andy was quite attractive, wasn’t he?’
‘So attractive – and you know I hadn’t meant it to be a one-night stand.’ She frowned, could she really have a rebound without dreaming of her future? Even with Andy she’d spent two months after picturing him in a tux on one knee. She was a commitment girl, always had been.
Nancy wouldn’t understand. She’d never been afraid of a fling.
She’d never even considered marriage until she’d met Pete.
Apparently, she’d known he was the one after their first date.
Her wild single friend turned into one half of the perfect couple overnight.
And now they had gorgeous little Freya, Eliza’s god-daughter, they were even more perfect.
Eliza had always hoped they would have their first babies at the same time, but that just wasn’t to be.
Maybe her time would come, but she didn’t want to focus on what she didn’t have.
Maybe having a crush on a hot, never going to settle down, available guy was perfect for her right now.
Sure, her white picket fence dream seemed further away than ever, but she had plenty of time.
Three months shagging Luke as her rebound might just be the ticket to forgetting all about Henry.
‘Okay, Eliza,’ said Nancy, sounding serious. ‘Before we go, there are rebound rules! Rebound sex is about knowing the boundaries, and not getting emotionally involved. I’m so excited for you, this is just what you need!’
‘Rebound rules? I’m not an escort, Nancy; next you’re going to tell me there’s no kissing on the lips!’ said Eliza, as they both fell about in hysterics.
‘Well, when he’s as hot as Luke sounds, I’m sure there’s some wiggle room.
But listen carefully. Rule number one: Remember this is just sex.
Use him, abuse him, and have the best sex of your life, knowing you’ll be leaving in three months.
Fall in love with his cock, not his mind.
Number two: No dinners, don’t get too involved.
You don’t want to be hearing about his family dramas, you want to fuck him.
Rule three: Leave before breakfast. Again, this is about sex and fun.
Okay, maybe, you can eat a bacon buttie if he makes you one and you have a hangover, but that’s it!
Rule four: Put that sexy underwear to good use and make that man beg for more!
Finally, though. Rule number five: Make sure your rebound guy knows this is just that.
A rebound. No broken hearts allowed! And that’s it,’ Nancy concluded, raising her glass. ‘To your sexual awakening!’
Eliza stared at her friend, aghast. ‘Wait, that’s it? Just five rules? I feel like there should be more!’
‘Nope, that’s it. Keep it simple, fun and sexy,’ Nancy said, draining her glass. ‘Remember, this isn’t about finding your husband. It’s about remembering who you are without Henry.’
‘And who am I without Henry?’ Eliza asked, suddenly feeling uncertain.
‘You’re Eliza fucking Fox. The woman who once charmed an entire restaurant into singing “Happy Birthday” to me when it wasn’t even my birthday.
The woman who convinced a bouncer we were celebrities just to skip a queue.
The woman who organised that charity gala in three days when the original planner got food poisoning.
’ Nancy reached across and squeezed her hand.
‘You’re brilliant, you’re resourceful, and now you’re free.
’ Nancy’s eyes sparkled with conviction.
‘And tonight, you’re going to show everyone in that pub exactly who Eliza Fox is. ’
Eliza felt a surge of warmth spread through her chest. Maybe Nancy was right. Maybe this was exactly what she needed – not just a rebound, but a rediscovery of herself.
‘Fine,’ she said, raising her glass. ‘To rebounding spectacularly with the hottest farmer in Farmington.’
‘That’s my girl.’ Nancy grinned.
It wasn’t long before the girls were a bottle of wine down and heading towards The Bush, a name they were both utterly thrilled with.
‘This is so exciting, Liza – I don’t think we’ve done anything other than a cocktail bar down the road for years!
I feel like we’re on a proper mission, And I love that I can be your wingman,’ Nancy squealed, looping her arm through Eliza’s like they were twenty-one again.
‘Shit, Nancy, let’s hope this isn’t the biggest anti-climax of your life.
There might only be five people inside sipping cider!
’ A drop of doubt was making its way through all the wine.
‘And just to warn you, I haven’t ever been to The Bush and I take no responsibility if it’s a grimy shithole full of old men. ’
‘Since when have you ever cared? We don’t need anyone else to make a party. Honestly, the grosser the better. I love a filthy floor that sticks to my shoes; it makes me feel eighteen again!’
As they rounded the corner, they could see the faded green pub, but it all seemed to be very quiet and countryside quaint.
There were hanging flower baskets framing the old wooden door, and some fairy lights lining the garden fence, but definitely no sound of pumping music or people spilling out of the front door.
‘Are you sure you’ve got the right night?’ teased Nancy, as they looked around the empty car park.
‘Maybe it’s just that everyone’s walked, or still on their way?’ muttered Eliza, as she tentatively pushed open the door.
Sure enough, the pub was packed. Breathing a sigh of relief, Eliza held the door open. ‘Come on in!’ she said triumphantly to Nancy, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her forward. ‘Right, let’s get the drinks in! First round on me.’
‘Did I hear you say first round on you?’ shouted Bill. Eliza turned to see him standing at the bar with the three other judges.
‘Hello, boys!’ squealed Eliza with glee, the panic that the night might be a wash-out totally dissipating. No matter what happened, she had a feeling they were in for a fun night! She’d forgotten how much she loved feeling like part of a group.