Chapter 10
DORI
Hunter’s worried eyes connect with mine. “I’m going to figure out a way to fix this.”
I laugh through the overwhelming stress taking over. “Fix what? Jami? My job status? Or the fact your psychotic mom has it in for me, and we don’t know why?
“Take your pick, Hunter. You can’t choose wrong. Hell, I even have a few more to throw in if?—”
“That won’t be necessary. I know everything you’re going through.” He stands and reaches for me. “Please let me be here for you.”
I back away. As much as I care for Hunter, I can’t deny what I’ve always felt for Jami. He’s the person I’ve always wanted to be with.
He saved my life by taking a bullet that was meant for me. Almost losing him for good forced me to face my feelings for him. I can’t walk away from him now.
“Hunter, you can’t be here for me anymore. You have much bigger issues to deal with than me.”
“You’re the only thing that matters.”
“What about your unborn child? ”
“There’s no proof that the baby is mine. Even if it is, you’re what matters right now.”
I spin as the earth below me seems to disappear. I’m in a free fall, and nothing I can do will stop me from disappearing into a black hole.
“You can’t say that, Hunter. You’ve got to put the situation with Isabella first.” My insides wrench, and I want to vomit. “How did my life get like this?”
“You’re not alone in this.” Hunter places his hands on the top of my shoulders. “I’m going to do everything in my power to fix this.”
“I can’t believe I lost my job.” The weight of my situation encompasses me. “I never should’ve gotten involved with you.”
“Please don’t say that.” He turns me to face him. “Being with you gives me life.”
Breaking his heart is the last thing I want to do. He’s done so much to show me how much he cares.
God, I wish I didn’t love him.
His gaze becomes wary. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
I shatter inside and slump forward. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“What can’t you do?” His Adam’s apple rolls.
“This.” I step back and gesture between us. “I can’t go on being with you when my heart and soul are with someone else. It isn’t fair to you.”
He shakes his head. “You’re just tired and overwhelmed. You need to sleep and get clear on how you really feel.”
“It’s not that, Hunter. My feelings won’t change.”
“Beauty, sorry for pointing this out, but you told me a few weeks ago you wouldn’t change your mind about being with me. Forgive me for thinking the difference in your stance is because you’re dealing with too much. ”
“I know what I said, but that was before this happened.” I stride over to the counter.
He follows me to the kitchen, the floorboards creaking under his weight. “Is your change of heart because of the baby?”
I hesitate but decide to be truthful. “It’s part of it.”
He deflates and runs his hands through his hair. “We don’t know if it’s mine.”
“It doesn’t matter if it isn’t.” All my problems stack before me. Overwhelm rips through my veins and strangles me. Tears pool in my eyes. “Hunter, everything has changed.”
He rushes to my side. “Please don’t end this. Take a few days to rest and get clear. Then you can decide.”
I blink, and the tears fall. “I need to get my life straightened out. That’s the only thing I can focus on.”
He takes me in his arms and holds me while I cry for a moment. I’ve made a mess out of my life. God must be punishing me for all my past behaviors and choices.
I step away, trying to do the right thing and not confuse him. “You’re such a good man. I wish I wasn’t hurting you.”
“Then don’t. We can work through this together.”
“No, we can’t. I’m sorry, but our relationship has to be over.”
“Don’t do this. You need my help now more than ever.” His panicked gaze darts around my face.
I wipe my face with my sleeve. “What I need is to be alone. I need some time to think and figure out my next steps.”
“Locking people out who want to help doesn’t work for you. You already know this.”
“This time is different. I’m not running and locking myself away. Everything is out of control, so I’m just asking for some space. Give me time to figure out my life.”
“Does that mean you’re considering staying with me?”
“Hunter... ”
Why is he refusing to listen to me?
We share an emotion-filled stare before he takes a breath and nods. “Get some rest. But trust me, I’m going to get your job back.”
“I did this to myself, Hunter. It’s not your responsibility.”
“We both did this, and I will get the board to reverse their decision.” He leans over and kisses my cheek. “I’m going to give you space, but I’m not letting you go.”
We’re just going in circles, and I need time to think. My brain is a wreck with everything I’ve blown into pieces.
I wrap my arms around my waist. “We can talk later. I’m too exhausted to do this right now.”
“Okay, I’ll go.” He grabs his jacket and strides to the door. He turns back to me. “I love you, beauty. Please remember that as you try to work through your emotions.”
“I will.”
He flashes a sad smile and leaves, defeat oozing from his pores. The magnitude of losing my job hits as soon as the door shuts.
I crumble to the floor and cry. Minutes go by, and all my problems stack before me. Pain sears through my racing heart. I gasp for air and clutch my chest.
Shit.
Am I having a heart attack?
My arm hurts, and a pinch squeezes my ribs. I think I’m dying because of the stress.
It's a new day, and I’m no longer having panic attacks like I had all night. I roll my shoulders back and shove down all my issues.
My problems are minuscule compared to Jami’s. He needs my strength, not me selfishly leaning on him because I lost my job.
I step into his hospital room and force a smile. “Hey there. How are you feeling today?”
“Fucking terrible.” He tries to sit up and moans.
I rush to his side. “Should I get the nurse?”
“No. She just left.” An agonized breath escapes from his lips. “You’re here early. It’s not even lunchtime.”
I steer away from that topic. “Jami, you’re in pain. I think I need to get someone in here.”
“The nurse just gave me more medication. She said it should kick in within the next few minutes.” He holds his body rigidly and stares at his IV line.
“Then I’ll sit and wait for it to kick in. If it doesn’t, I’m going to get help.” I scan over him.
His facial features are strained and his jaw muscles twitch from gritting his teeth. If he doesn’t get some relief soon, I’m going to raise hell.
I glance at the door where our security teams are hanging out. My heart drops and guilt floods my system. It’s all my fault he’s lying in a hospital bed in excruciating misery.
He shifts, his body sinking into his mattress as his face relaxes.
He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it. “Now tell me why you’re here early.”
“Is your pain better?”
“Yes, temptress. Quit avoiding the question. Why aren’t you at work?”
“I like hearing you calling me that.” I take his hand and flash him a warm grin.
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. “Then that’s your official nickname.”
“What do you want me to call you?”
He places our hands down. “I don’t know. What do you want to call me? ”
My face heats. “Sir?”
His eyes widen. “You like that?”
I shrug sheepishly. “I could get used to it.”
“You’re definitely my temptress.” He laughs, but it catches in his chest. “Fuck, that hurts.”
“Okay, no more sexy talk.”
He groans but takes the prompt. “This wound is cramping my style.”
“All in due time.”
“I guess babies for us will have to wait.” His blue eyes dance around my face.
My shoulders tense, and I quit breathing. He can’t be seriously thinking like that right now.
“Dori, relax. It’s the painkillers talking.” His eyelids tick down.
“Are you sure?”
His words come out slower and a little slurred. “Don’t worry about our kids just yet. I have to make it out alive after telling Aiden about us. Who knows? This gunshot wound might be less concerning.”
Oh, jeez, I haven’t even thought about telling Aiden about my feelings for Jami. I don’t know how I’m going to get through that.
I swerve away from the topic. “Let’s not think about anything until the doctor says you can go home.”
“Deal.” He blinks a few times as if he’s fighting to stay awake.
I lean over and kiss his forehead. “Go to sleep and let your body heal.”
He nods and falls into a slumber. As much as I enjoy talking with him, I feel better knowing he’s resting. It gives me hope he’ll make it out of here without any issues.
I settle in and wait for the nurse to return to her station outside his door. She comes into view through the window of his room, wearing purple scrubs with tiny flowers on them .
I get up and meet her. “Hi, I’m Dori. Jamison’s girlfriend. He’s a little out of it, so I was wondering if I could get an update on his condition.”
“Sure.” She sits on a rolling chair and pulls up to a counter where a computer is stationed between two rooms.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She takes a moment to read his records. “We’re still trying to manage his pain. He’s got a slight fever today, so we’re watching him closely. But he’s doing well, considering the trauma he went through.”
I pull my eyebrows down. “Why does he have a fever?”
“Several things could cause it. That’s why we’re monitoring him closely.”
“Like what?”
“It’s hard to say. It’s possible he’s fighting an infection, or it could be his body fighting off the stress of his injuries.”
“Will he stay in the ICU?” I try to peek at her computer screen.
She blocks my view with her shoulders. “Yes, but he’s in good hands, so try not to worry.”
I fold my arms across my chest. “Is he going to be okay?”
“Time will tell us more, but he’s talking and breathing on his own. Those are good signs.” She sends me a kind smile. “He has a long road ahead of him.”
“I figured.” My stomach hollows out, and I glance over my shoulder.
He’s sleeping peacefully but still looks vulnerable.
I turn and face her. “Can I bring him some of his belongings from home?”
“Of course.” She peeks into the window of the patient’s room next to Jami’s. “Excuse me, I need to check on my other patient.”
“Thanks for your time and the information.” I amble back to my chair next to his bed.
As I sit and wait for him to wake up, my problems press on me. Going to work this morning and Jonah officially terminating me from Efron Worldwide was humiliating.
I thought I was prepared, but I cried like a two-year-old. Thankfully, it was only Jonah, so I wasn’t forced to face anybody else. I take Jami in and force my selfishness away. Once he’s out of the woods, my job situation can be handled.
How am I going to tell him I got fired?
How am I going to tell Aiden?
I’ve been reckless and should’ve seen this coming. Shame rains over me. I’ve got to do something to distract myself.
I gather my purse and jacket and leave to get some of Jami’s items. His keys were in the coat the hospital gave me, so I’m able to get into his apartment.
The drive to his place allows me time to deal with my stress. My security team trails behind me. They’re a clear reminder that my job is the least of my problems.
Someone wants to hurt me. Most likely, that someone is Hunter’s mom. I just wish I knew why she’s after me.
I run through plausible reasons, and I can only come up with one thing. Hunter’s mom wanted Ava to end up with him. Now that I’m not with him anymore, maybe his mom won’t care about me anymore.
But Hunter keeps fighting for me, so maybe that’s why she’s after me. She wants me out of the picture. And that thought takes me right back to Jami. He almost died because of me.
Every negative thing in my life is related to my decision to be with Hunter. I thought the universe was pointing out that he was the one I was supposed to be with, but I’ve been reading the signals all wrong.
An overwhelming heaviness sits on my chest. I still love him, but my heart will always be with Jami. If only there were a way I could spare Hunter of any heartache.
Knowing there’s not, I force away the thought. It’s time I stick to my decision and quit hurting everyone involved .
Once inside Jami’s apartment, I gather some personal items, such as his toiletries and laptop. I leave his office and stare down the hall at his son’s room. My throat tightens as my breathing shallows.
Don’t go in there, Dori.
It won’t do any good.
I start toward the stairs, but something keeps pulling me toward the nursery. With a push, the door creaks open. The aroma of baby powder wafts around me, but they wouldn’t have used it.
Am I imagining it?
I step inside and scan the beautiful seafoam green baby room. A shooting pain causes my heart to constrict. I brace myself and steady my wobbling legs.
What if I can’t get to the point where I can give Jami a child of his own?
I know how much he wants that, and we haven’t even discussed the matter at length. His comment about having babies with me still has me reeling.
I’ve already lost a child of his. I can’t imagine taking something like that from him again. He’d never forgive me, and I know he’d never see me the same.
Why are things always so difficult for us?
Will he leave me when I tell him I don’t want kids of my own?
I’m not sure how to rectify the situation. If we can’t get on the same page, then I need to let him go so he can find someone who can give him what he wants. My insides knot. I can’t let him go. Not ever again.
My phone rings, startling me from my thoughts. I glance at the screen and a number from the hospital shines up at me.
Fear sparks in my veins. “Hello.”
“Hey, temptress. Where are you?”
“Jami, I got scared when I saw the number.” My gaze stays on his son’s name hanging on the wall. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, but I wouldn’t mind some company. ”
“Okay. I’m leaving your place now.” I turn and get ready to leave.
“What are you doing at my house?”
I hesitate and look back into Aricin’s room. Losing Jami’s baby hits me suddenly, and a longing spreads throughout my chest.
“Dori, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing. I just think we need to talk.”
He releases a heavy breath. “About what?”
I waver for a moment, but I need to do this. “About us.”
“What about us?”