Chapter 21
DORI
Jami reaches for me, but I move to the other side of the kitchen island. “Jami, you’re scaring me. What would you need from me that could be troublesome?”
“I know you, Dori. Sometimes, I think better than you know yourself. What I’m about to ask for won’t sit well with you.”
“What are you getting at?”
“It means I don’t want you to pack your bags and leave like you’re going to want to.”
“I just told you I wouldn’t run away from our problems.” Cold prickles cover me. “This is reminding me a little too much of how I felt when you were hiding the mess you were in from me.”
“No, sweetness. It’s nothing like that. You know all there is to know about my personal life.” His eyes soften around the edges.
The muscles in my neck loosen. “Okay, then I promise to stay and not run away.”
“Good. Now that we have that settled, here’s where I stand. This relationship we’re building can’t have any other people living in its confines. ”
I’ve already told him my focus is on him, so I’m confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Hunter. I know you’ll do whatever you want, but I won’t be involved in a love triangle anymore. It’s the only requirement I have of you.”
I place my hand on my heart. “I already told you I’ve ended it with him. He knows I’m in a relationship with you.”
“That’s great, but part of my boundary with this is you not spending alone time with him. He has a way of twisting things when you do.”
“You’re upset I went to dinner with him, aren’t you?”
“I’m not because I know what it was about, but I’m telling you this now so we don’t have any issues pop up. You’re asking me to communicate with you, and this is me doing that.”
“That’s easy, Jami.”
“So we’re clear. You’re saying you can agree to my request?”
I nod. He smiles and beckons me back to him with a crook of his finger.
I round the island, take his hands in mine, and give him a peck on the lips. “You have my word. I won’t go anywhere with him alone.”
“What about your job? He’s working to reinstate you, and you just got done telling me you’re sad about not being there. What if he gets what he wants and offers your job back?” Jami studies me.
What would I do?
I could maybe handle a long-distance relationship, but Jami had a point when he mentioned the possibility of being photographed with other women. It didn’t sit well with me when Hunter did it, and with Jami, I have a sense it would be worse.
I also had issues with my relationship with Hunter because he always traveled. That made me feel like there was an invisible wall between us .
I swallow the heaviness of that question. “Until that happens, I don’t want to discuss it.”
Jami huffs and releases my hands. “Dori, you don’t get to have it both ways. If you want us to be close by communicating with each other, you can’t turn around and shut me out. It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know, but I don’t think we should focus on something that hasn’t occurred. I don’t want to create problems that don’t need to be there.”
“So you’re saying there will be an issue if he succeeds with his plan?”
“Um...” My throat squeezes. “Jami, please don’t start a fight with me about something that hasn’t happened.”
“I’m not trying to fight. I’m communicating with you. You say you want that, so help me understand where your thoughts are. Give me a chance to show you I can support you through tough issues. It’s the only way you’ll learn to trust that I’m putting you first.”
He has a point, but I’ve never been good at this part. My knee-jerk reaction is to ignore it or hide. If our relationship is going to work, I have to be open.
I amble into the living room. “I don’t know where to start.”
Jami gets off his stool and follows me. “Let’s round back to how you were feeling earlier. You said you were sad. Talk to me about that.”
We get settled on the couch. He faces me and gives me a look of support. My heart warms. He’s always been attentive to me. It makes me love him even more.
I let my reservations fall away. “I loved working there, but now it’s just gone. It’s my fault I lost my job, but it still hurts.”
“Come here.” He holds out his arms.
I scoot over to him and let him console me with his nurturing hug .
“I’m so humiliated, Jami. I knew better and did it anyway, knowing how reckless it was.”
“There’s no use in beating yourself up.” He runs his hand down the back of my head.
“But everyone must think I’m some kind of slut who sleeps with her boss and the brilliant contractor they hired to build a powerful app. People must think I’m garbage.”
“Stop talking about yourself like that. You know that’s not how it went down. And anyone who wants to judge you isn’t worth your time.”
“Easy for you to say.” I shrink into myself. “Honestly, Jami, I’m mad at myself for not listening to you that morning after I was roofied.”
He pulls back and finds my gaze. “Can I ask why you didn’t?”
I shrug. “I was falling for him and didn’t think I had a chance with you. You were so angry the morning you found out I was with him. Then you asked me about marrying him. It didn’t seem like you cared if I would’ve said yes.”
Jami huffs. “Fuck if you didn’t read that wrong. It gutted me, knowing that’s what he was thinking, but you seemed dead set on being with him.”
I reach down and take off my shoes. “Can I tell you something?”
“Anything. You know that.”
I bring my knees to my chest and hug them. “When I started therapy, Samantha, my therapist, asked me to picture my life with each of you. When I let myself dream, I always saw myself with you in the end.”
“Then why did it take you so long to admit it to me? You knew I loved you.”
“No, I didn’t. For a long time, I thought it was wishful thinking to be with you.”
“Why? ”
I shake my head. “You would do these things that made me think we had a chance, but then you would go cold. It drove me crazy.”
“Like what? Help me understand so I don’t make that same mistake.”
“We would get close, but then you would push me away. You would shut down on me and quit speaking to me. I knew you weren’t mad at me because you were still kind, but you would keep our conversations short and to the point.”
He looks down. “Yeah, I had a lot of guilt.”
“About what?”
If he says Aiden…
Jami’s quiet for a moment, then he brings his gaze to mine. “When I was unconscious in the hospital, I remembered something from our past.”
“Go on.”
“There was a time when we were in your backyard. You made a comment about wanting to go out on a date with me. I hesitated, not knowing how Aiden would react.”
“I knew it.” My chest burns. “He’s still around, so what are you?—”
“Wait. Before you go off on the Aiden topic, there was more to it than what his reaction would be.”
I think back. Nothing comes to mind that would add to that.
I shrug with my hands splayed before me. “Then what stopped you? What caused you to pull away from me?”
“The particular day I’m talking about, you were laying out in a bikini. You look hot as fuck. You were sinfully alluring. I wanted you more than I had wanted anyone before. I started wrestling with you.” Jami swallows hard.
That day jumps to the front of my memories. “I remember that. You were about to kiss me.”
“I was, but Aiden pulled me off of you. When you went inside, he told me your dad saw it happen and was pissed at me for it.”
“Aiden probably said that to keep you away from me.”
“No, he didn’t. I saw your dad watching us from his office window. The look he gave me was one of disgust. I thought he was going to kill me.”
“Why? He never said anything to me about it.” I try to pull forward any conversations my dad had about Jami. My mind goes blank. “Come to think about it, he never said anything about you in front of me.”
“Maybe not, but he made it clear to me he didn’t want me around you.” Jami shifts and grimaces in pain. “Fuck. That hurt.”
I glance at the clock on the wall. “You haven’t taken a painkiller in a few hours. Do you need me to get you one?”
“I can get it myself. You stay here and keep talking.” He rises to his feet and shuffles back into the kitchen.
I stand and start walking down the hall. “They aren’t in there. I took them into your bedroom.”
“In that case, I’ll get us some water and meet you there.”
“Sounds good.” I disappear into his room.
I go to grab the bottle off his nightstand, but I bump it off. The painkillers roll under his bed.
I get on my knees and paw around for them. When I can’t reach them, I stand and peek behind his headboard to see where they are.
Something that looks like a metal hook is bolted into the brick wall. I lean over to get a better view and stretch to feel it. Sure enough, it’s a circular hook that’s level with the mattress.
What a strange place to have a hook.
“What are you doing, temptress?” Jami asks in his deep bedroom voice.
My cheeks heat with both desire and embarrassment.
I jump away from the bed. “I wasn’t snooping. ”
His eyes shine my way as he stalks toward me. “No? But you found something, didn’t you?”
My stomach does a thousand somersaults. Our magnetic connection zaps the air around us and sets the room ablaze.
The way he’s looking at me is like I’m about to get a lesson about sneaking around his bedroom when he’s not here. I lower my shoulders and cower to him in a moment of instinctual submission.
His smile creeps across his face. He places our water on his nightstand and steps to me.
He stands a foot before me with the sexual prowess of a porn star emanating off his skin. “Tell me what you found.”
“I don’t know what it was.”
He cocks a brow. “Do you want to know?”
I have no idea why that hook is causing this reaction in Jami, but I’m beginning to think I’m going to find out. My heart flip-flops.
He cradles my cheek in his palm and lines my jaw with his thumb. “I won’t ask again. Do you want to know what you saw?”
“Do you know what I saw?”
What the fuck, Dori?
Why ask that?
It’s got to be the least sexiest thing I could’ve said.
His eyes burn into mine. “I know exactly what you saw, but I’m getting the impression you don’t want that kind of pleasure.”
Pleasure?
“How does a hook bolted to the wall give me pleasure?” My mind spins with all the delicious possibilities.
He keeps his gaze on me as he reaches down and pulls his nightstand drawer out. I stare into his eyes even though I’m dying to find out what he’s doing.
His eyes flit to the side. The contents in the drawer clunk and clink as he shifts them around. When he finds what he wants, he stands with a satisfied sparkle in his gaze.
I glance down. He’s running a thick black silk scarf between his palms.
He plans on tying me up.
My sex heats. “Is that what I think it is?”
“What if it is? Do you trust me enough to give me all your control?”
My heart pounds. “I do.”
He takes both my wrists and twists the silk around them. The material is loose, but the innuendo that I should expect more is evident.
I hold out my arms as he assesses the bond. He runs his hand down his stubbly beard and peeks at the wall.
His gaze comes back to me. “Unfortunately, temptress, we need to put this off for another day. What I have planned for you requires me to be in top condition.”
I deflate but try to hide my disappointment. “Okay. I don’t want to hurt you, so we can just get in bed and go to sleep.”
“Bed yes, sleep no.” He grabs the material between my wrists and pulls me to him. “I have another idea, and it’s better than restraining you.”
The silk slips off and flutters to the floor, making it possible for me to circle my arms around his neck. “Tell me about this plan of yours.”
“First, I’m going to need your help getting us out of our clothes.” His hands rest on my hips. “Then I want to make love to you and show you how I plan on putting you first every day for the rest of my life.”
My breath gets stolen from my lungs. “Jami...”
Love pours into my bloodstream. I press my lips to his as I rake my fingers through the hair on the back of his head. He works my sweater up, so I break our kiss and help remove it.
He steps away and watches me with fire in his eyes. I reach back and unhook my bra, then drop it to the floor .
“Fuck, Dori. You’re absolutely perfect.”
“Let’s get out of these clothes and move this to the bed.”
“Smart and beautiful. I’ve got my hands full with you.”
I help him start to remove his clothes, but he groans in pain as I lift his right arm.
“Before we go further, do you think you can get me one of those painkillers? I’d like to enjoy making love to you.”
I finish taking off his shirt. “Of course. They’re under the bed, though, so give me a second to find them.”
He laughs. “How’d they get there?”
“I bumped them, and they rolled under there.” I get on my knees and try to find the bottle.
My ass is up and my shoulders are down while I paw around for Jami’s medication. I find what I’m looking for and start to rise, but Jami’s hand runs over my ass.
“Temptress, you keep doing things to change my mind.”
He gets on his knees behind me, bows over me, and dots kisses on my back as his fingers work to unbutton my jeans.
“I have so many things I want to do to you, but since you waved your pretty, round ass in my face, I’ve decided we’re going to do this first.”
I shake the medicine bottle. “Do you want these?”
“Not right now. I have something else that will help with the pain.” He unzips my pants.
“Let me do that while you take yours off.” I push up and work my jeans over my hips along with my thong. “How’s this?”
“Fucking perfect.”
Both of our pants are pulled down to our knees, but otherwise, we’re naked. He’s lined up behind me. I think he’s going to force my shoulders to the ground, but instead, he brings me flush to his chest.
He moves my hair over my shoulder and nips and kisses up my neck. I rest against his chest and moan. His erection presses on my back, and I can’t wait until he’s inside of me .
Other than the day we got home, we haven’t been intimate this way. He’s been worn out and tired, and I’ve been too afraid I’ll hurt him.
All that’s long gone.
I grind my ass against him just as he finds my clit. We both groan.
I turn my head. “Baby, I need to feel you.”