27
Sasha
Why the hell is writing so fucking hard? The story is in my head. I know the characters inside out. I know exactly where I want everything to end up. So why won’t the words cooperate?
I keep glancing at my phone, desperate for literally any kind of distraction. Laundry, dishes, scrubbing grout with a fucking toothbrush. I’d happily do any of it if it meant I didn’t have to stare at this blinking cursor.
If I don’t get something on this page soon, I’m gonna lose my mind.
I need more coffee, that’s all. Sure, it’s only 10am and I’ve already had five cups, but one more couldn’t hurt. I refill my favorite mug, drown it in creamer, and settle back in front of my laptop.
Fingers to the keys, Sash. Empty your mind. Let it flow.
I was meant to start this weeks ago, but then Liam came and writing was the last thing on my mind And then there’s Conor…
He has become one giant, six-foot-something I can’t seem to get anything done when he’s around and that’s a lot.
Not that I’m complaining. I love his company and the orgasms that come with it. That man is skilled at everything.
I stayed up for hours last night writing the prologue. Now I’m on chapter one and my mind has gone blank again. Maybe I’m doing this backwards. What if I start on the important chapters? The first time they meet, the first kiss, the first time they… Actually, yeah. That one.
The words finally come.
I begin typing, getting lost in the sound of the keys tapping rhythmically, the way the ideas just float through my fingers and onto the screen. It’s such a powerful feeling, being able to write freely, write whatever you want, make it all your own. Damn, I wish I did this sooner.
The sound of my apartment door swinging open has all my focus draining in a split second. “Oh, for fucks sake.”
Conor chuckles as he walks in, dropping his keys into the bowl by the door. “Well, hello to you too, Angel.”
“Sorry, sorry.” I murmur, running a hand down my face and turning back to my laptop and… nope, all the bookish thoughts are gone. Shit. “I was in the groove and you interrupted it.”
“Well then, I’m sorry.” The smile that tugs on the corners of his lips says that isn’t sorry at all.
“What?” He’s just standing there, staring at me. It’s kinda creepy.
“You’re actually writing.”
“I am.” I smile back, my cheeks heating at the adorable look on his face. He’s proud.
He walks over to me and places a gentle kiss on my lips. It’s sweet and it lingers. Friends don’t kiss like that. And friends definitely don’t look at each other like that. “I’ll let you get back to it.” He moves for the door, but I stop him.
“You don’t have to go.” It comes out rushed, desperate. “I mean,” I clear my throat and shrug, “you can stay for a bit, if you’d like?” Real smooth, Sash. I internally roll my eyes at myself for being so uncool.
“I did come over to ask you something but it can wait.”
“No, it’s okay.” I save my work and close the laptop. “I could probably use a break anyway.”
We move to the couch, settling at opposite ends. Conor pulls my feet onto his lap and starts absent-mindedly rubbing soft circles along the bottom. Thank God I’m not ticklish or he’d get a boot to the face any second now.
His hands freeze and his eyes blow wide. “What the fuck is this?” Shit. The angry red burns peek out beneath the hem of my joggers. I knew this moment was coming but I still hadn’t decided whether or not to tell him the truth.
“I, umm,” I can’t find the right words and Conor’s intense stare on my feet are making it harder for me to think. He gently rolls my sweats up my legs and I hiss when the fabric grazes the burns.
“Jesus, Sash.” Conor looks horrified, his face is draining of color and I think he’s gonna be sick. It does look nasty though. Blisters have slowly started to appear and the redness hasn’t subsided at all. If anything, it’s gotten worse. “What the hell happened?”
I hesitate. Just tell him! No, don’t. I could go for a half truth?
“Some guy accidentally knocked a fresh coffee off his desk yesterday.” I shrug. “I was walking past at the same time and well, you can see the rest.”
His eyes narrow but he doesn’t take his gaze off my legs. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal? Sash, your skin is literally peeling off. You look like a sunburnt tourist! You have officially entered your lizard era.”
“Ha ha, funny guy.” I deadpan, but I can’t hide the wide smile that breaks free across my face.
“Have you got ointment or anything to put on it?”
“I do.”
“Have you used it?”
“No…” Conor’s eyebrows climb. “I got distracted!”
“Where is it?”
“I’ll get it.” I go to stand but Conor stops me.
“Sit your sexy little ass back down right now. I’ll get it.”
I chuckle at his words. “I’m fine, Conor. Really I am.”
“Where is it, Sash?”
I groan as Conor stands from the couch. “Bathroom. Above the sink.”
“Be right back.” He kisses me on the forehead as he heads to the bathroom. I sink down lower onto the couch, cursing myself for lying to him. It wasn’t a total lie. I was merely withholding information. Oh who am I kidding, it was a total lie.
“Have you taken any pain meds?” Conor calls from the other room.
“This morning, yeah.”
He walks back into the living room, carrying the small tube of cream and a bottle of pills. He stops at the sink, grabbing a glass and filling it with water, washes his hands and then comes back to me.
“Open.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What?”
“Open your mouth.”
Oh, right. Duh. I do as he says, willingly obeying him and getting a little turned on by his commanding attitude.
He places the pills in my mouth and lifts the glass of water for me to swallow them down.
My throat works harder than it should, the familiar look in Conor's eye making it feel too tight.
“Good girl.” He whispers, smirking at me with those damn lips.
For God’s sake. I’m hopeless.
He settles back onto the couch, resting my legs across his lap again. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
“Don’t be. It looks worse than it is.”
He gives me a disbelieving look before popping the lid off the cream and squeezing a generous amount onto his palm. “Doctor Matthews is currently on duty.”
“I would have pegged you more as a nurse.” I joke but like every other time I tease this man, he has a comeback.
“I bet you’d love to see me in one of those sexy little nurse outfits.”
“You have the ass for it.”
“Damn straight.” We both laugh together, the sound like music to my ears. It’s easy. Comfortable.
Conor rubs his hands together before gently touching my shin. I hiss in a breath as he rubs the cream in. “Sorry, Angel.” He winces, removing his hands from me completely.
“Don’t be. Just keep going.” Reluctantly, he does, rubbing slow circles down my legs and feet. “What did you want to ask me?” I need him to talk. I need him to take my mind off the pain.
He hesitates for a second before speaking. “There’s a Halloween party in a few weeks at the stadium.”
“Okay…”
“It’s a couples thing. Coach was wondering if you’d be there.”
I smile at him. “Conor, if you want me to go with you, just say so.” His face lights up at my words, all the worry he was feeling a minute ago dissipating. “You helped me out when I needed you, so I’ll help you out with this.”
“Thank you, Sash.” His relief is almost tangible. Then it disappears again. “My parents are coming to visit in a month or so.”
“Oh?”
“I haven’t seen them in a while.”
“That’ll be nice.”
Conor finishes rubbing the cream on my legs and rolls my sweats back down, covering the disgusting mess underneath.
“Yeah…” He trails off, not meeting my eye. “They want to meet you.”
Everything inside of me stills. “Why?”
He looks genuinely confused by my question. “Because you’re my girlfriend.”
“But I’m not.”
“Sasha, come on. Don’t make a big deal out of this.”
I get off the couch, pacing the living room floor as I think of a response. “I’m not making a big deal out of this, Conor.” I say, wearing a hole into the floor. “These are your parents. I can’t lie to them like this.”
“You lied to your family about this.”
“No, actually, I didn’t.” I stop moving, looking back to the man on my couch. “I didn’t tell my parents anything about what you and I are, and they didn’t ask. And yes, I didn’t tell Liam the truth but that kid has no filter and a big mouth. The whole world would know before breakfast.”
Conor is balling his hands into fists, a clear sign that he’s getting agitated. “You’re being a bit ridiculous, Sasha.”
“I’m being ridiculous?” I'm getting too worked up over this. Am I overreacting right now? Probably. But that’s not the point.
I kneel in front of him, taking his hands in mine while the burns on my legs scream in protest. “Conor, these are your parents. You should want them to meet the person you’re gonna spend forever with.
” He gives me a little shrug in response, so I continue.
“They are gonna love me because obviously, and it’ll break their heart when you tell them our relationship has ended. ”
There’s a slight tilt to his lips, but not the smile I was hoping for. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“I’ll think about it, okay?” It’s the best I can offer right now.
“Okay.”
Conor and I watched a movie after the whole ‘meeting the parents’ conversation, but his head wasn’t in it.
He was fidgeting a lot, kept checking his phone, bouncing his leg.
I know he’s frustrated, but I don’t know why it’s bothering him so much.
I had asked, but he was a closed book. After he left, I messaged Olivia.
I need to know if I’m being irrational here or not.
Me: SOS
Me: I need advice
Livvy: What have you done this time?
Me: Rude. Why do you always
assume that I’ve done something?
Me: Whatever. Conor wants me to
meet his parents when they visit
in a few weeks.
Livvy: Why?
Me: My thoughts exactly! Why?
Me: I said I can’t. It’s misleading and
I don’t want to lie to his parents.
Livvy: I think that’s fair enough.
I let out a heavy exhale as relief floods me. Maybe I’m not losing my mind after all.
Livvy: How did he take it?
Me: He said I was being ridiculous
and then barely spoke to me the
rest of the evening.
My phone rings as soon as I send that text, Olivia’s name popping up on the screen.
“What do you mean he called you ridiculous?”
I prop my phone against the kettle while loading dishes into the dishwasher. “I said to him we’re just friends and that it’s unfair to lie to his parents.”
“Okay…”
“He said I’m being ridiculous and that I should meet them because I’m his girlfriend to which I reminded him again that I’m not.”
“But, if you think about it…” Olivia trails off, so I wait. “You kind of are his girlfriend.”
“Just because we have sex doesn’t mean we’re a couple.”
“No, it doesn’t. But you don’t just have sex though.” Olivia pauses as she rifles through a pile of Bella’s clothes. “You hang out all the time. You go on dates. You kiss and cuddle. That’s what couples do together, Sash. Not friends.”
I sigh, the words hitting harder when they come from someone else. “He knows how I feel.”
“Does he though? I mean, you tell him one thing and do another. That must be confusing for him.”
“It shouldn't be. I made it very clear about what was happening when we first started this.”
“You also made it very clear that there would be no sex and now look at you.” Shit. I hate it when she’s right. Have I really led Conor to believe we’re more than we are? “Miscommunication is one of the most disliked tropes, Sasha.”
“Oh hush, we’re not in a romance novel, Olivia.”