Playing with Death (Midnight Syn #3)

Prologue

The first time I walked through the walkway, everyone shouted at me. They all knew me; they’d seen me in uniform before, but no one knew the truth. Hell, no one alive has ever known the truth.

Now, it’s almost like they stand in solidarity with me.

It’s weird, never thought this was something that could even happen — the gangs in prison all coming together — but the enemy of my enemy… or some shit like that.

And in here, we’re all friends against the rest.

But what can I say, disgraced officer, fallen from his perch, they were foaming at the mouth to tear me to bits until they learned.

And if I had any guess, that explains the county’s jail overcrowding. The department wanted to teach me a lesson.

Jokes on them.

I wish I could see how pissed off they are about it.

But I never fit in there anyway. Underneath whatever exterior I tried to maintain, they could all tell there was something more lurking just below, something I was keeping from them. That my heart was never really in it.

As we approach the visitation room, I see the back of her head as she sits waiting for me.

The COs escort me into the room, looking at her, knowing who she is, but not able to do a goddamn thing about it. No one in the room right now is comfortable with this situation.

She doesn’t look at me, and from the slight movements her body is making, I can tell she’s wildly shaking her leg.

Removing the cuffs from around my wrists, they leave the room.

Leaving Drew and me alone for the first time in months.

I hesitate before I sit down.

“They said I was meeting with my lawyer.” Finally, her eyes come up, looking at me, nearly knocking all the goddamn air out of me.

“I took an internship with Sherri for the summer.”

I don’t know what to say; we both know why she took it. As much as it brings me a glimmer of hope, I can’t let her see it.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know.” She exhales, I’m sure trying to manage her nerves since we haven’t been this close since being pressed together in the hospital closet. “The thing I don’t understand is,” she pauses, rolling her eyes this time. “Why’d you do it?”

“It’s more complicated than you think.” I glance around.

“Don’t worry; the cameras are off.”

“I don’t want them thinking they can get anything out of you.”

“I fall under confidentiality.” She shrugs her shoulders. Looking up, staring straight into my soul.

“I wasn’t talking about just them…”

Shaking her head, she rolls her eyes, already annoyed with me. “Did you destroy evidence for the club?”

“No.”

Rolling her eyes again, she exhales. “Did you destroy evidence for my brother?”

“If you’re asking me, I think you already know the answer.” No need to lie to her about it; she already knows.

“I need to hear you say it.”

I pause for a second before nodding my head. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I’d rather not have this conversation here.”

“Told you — no cameras, it’s just us. Plus, where else are we supposed to have this conversation?”

Nodding my head, I sigh. I guess she’s right.

“Is that why the club’s paying your legal fees?”

“They’re not.”

“Oh, right… I forgot; a nonprofit is paying them.” She laughs, shaking her head. “You think I don’t know it’s a shell for the club?”

“What do you want from me?” I toss my hands to the side, already exhausted from trying to evade her questions.

“The truth.”

“I told you, not here.” I pause, shaking my head again. “You asked me not to plead, so get me out of here, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“I never asked you not to.”

“Right.” I laugh out, shaking my head this time. “Granted, you never said the words, but that’s only because Z was there, and we both know that’s exactly what you were asking.”

Exasperated, she stands up, shoving everything from in front of her into her bag.

“They dropped all charges last night; they’re just waiting on the paperwork to process.

” She glances behind me. “I’m assuming that’s what they’re here for.

” She nods her head before standing up and heading to the door behind her.

“Drew, wait.” I call after her, stilling her for a moment before she turns around and looks at me.

Lifting her hand to the door, she tells the officers to give us another minute.

“No, Eli. I get it; you owe me no explanation… about anything.” She pauses, trying to hold back the shaking in her voice.

“Don’t explain how you’re suddenly best friends with my brothers again after years.

Don’t explain why you ‘allegedly’ tampered with evidence that got you fired and arrested.

Don’t explain why it looks pretty apparent that you’re on the club’s payroll.

And definitely don’t fucking explain why I woke up alone. ”

“I —” I attempt some sort of bullshit apology before stopping, the look on her face telling me that there’s no point.

Not going back to the house after I left her was the hardest goddamn thing I’ve ever had to do.

“Drew, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Eli, really, it is.” She nods her head this time, but not at me, at the guards, telling them we’re done in here. “It was a year ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

I want to tell her I love her; I want to explain what happened that morning. Or what’s been going on for the last 10 years. What I’ve been keeping from her this entire time. But I can’t. Not here, and absolutely not while these guards are making their way in.

“Drew!”

I don’t need to look to know who’s shouting my name over the music. Eli’s voice lives inside me. None of what has happened in the last year has made any sense, and I just needed to see him one last time this morning. I needed to put everything with him [not] to bed before he was around again.

And possibly because Sherri forced me.

Sirens was closed for some time, maybe because my parents were gunned down out front and for a while it’s all anyone could think of, plus it took a few years for the bloodstains to fade from the concrete.

The club kept it, occasionally came around, and within the last few months, we’ve rehabbed it and reopening was a couple of weeks ago.

He calls my name a second time. Forcing my attention, I roll my eyes as they lock with his.

“What?”

“Can we talk?”

“No.” I cut back, looking away quickly.

“Sketch.”

“Eli.” I deadpan and just look up at him, emotionless. Or at least that’s the look I’m going for. On the inside, whatever’s left of me is dying. “I told you don’t ever call me that again.”

“It’s not what you think.”

“I. Don’t. Care.” I shrug, looking away, and smiling at the man sitting across from me as I walk up. He orders some hip beer that only people who think it’s cool order.

“There are things I didn’t tell you.”

“So you were lying to me.” I stare back now, not paying attention to the flowing beer tap, swearing when it spills over the top, runs down the glass, and over my hand.

“Yes, no, fuck. I couldn’t…”

“Well, lucky for you, I don’t care.” I can’t look at him; if I do, he’ll know I’m full of shit. Know that I’m lying. So, I make the most out of wiping down the glass and walking it back over.

“Just let me explain.”

“Goddamnit!” I shout, gaining the attention of the people surrounding us.

We both know how dangerous this is; we’ll be lucky if we get a couple of days before this whole episode gets back to my brothers.

“Eli, I’m going to say this to make myself perfectly fucking clear.

You had all the time to explain. I told you everything… ”

“Did you?” He gives a snide chuckle before looking at me, tilting his head, knowing I’m full of shit.

“While we were together.” I whisper back to him.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yeah, well, let’s just make it simple then...” I trail off before walking over to Low. I lean in. “I’m gonna take my break.” She nods before I leave, walking out the door that’s behind the bar.

Pulling my phone out, I have to force the emotions away, force the tears back. I just need him to leave. What does it fucking matter if I forgive him? He made it abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with me.

“Drew!” he screams after me as I stand with my back turned to the door.

I was hoping he wouldn’t take it upon himself to just walk back here. I guess I was mistaken.

“What?” spinning around, I’m confused as I stare back at him. “What the fuck are you doing?” I ask him, staring at him, looking down to where he’s clutching his shirt in his hands.

Being in jail has made his torso more defined. My eyes trail across his chest and down his stomach, taking it all in, and I catch myself biting my bottom lip. I can’t look back up at him; if I do, I won’t be able to overlook the joy he’s getting out of me eyeing him.

“Turn off the overhead lights.”

“What?”

“Turn off the overhead lights.” He repeats, and I just look at him, confused.

“Look, I know it doesn’t make any sense right now, but just do this.

Then, if you don’t want to hear me out and still want me to leave, I will.

If you want me to stay as far away as possible, I will.

But please just turn off the damn lights and let me explain. ”

“Fine.” I look at him confused, walking closer to him as I flip the switch in the back room off. All that’s left on are the black lights. I’m still not even sure why they’re all up here. Rolling my eyes as I look back up at him.

“Now what’s that supposed to —” I hesitate as I look back at him, or more so at the letters that are glowing on his chest, right above his heart. “How long have you had this?”

“10 years.”

“I’ve never seen it before.” I whisper.

“It’s UV ink…”

Stepping in, closer than I’ve been to him since we were in the hospital closet, I want to force myself to stop reaching up and touching it, but I can’t.

I expect the skin to be scabbed, inflamed as if he’s just gotten it, and that he’s trying to lie to me.

But I can tell by the faded lettering and what it is, just how long it’s been there.

“I don’t understand.” I gasp, looking up to meet his eyes as his hand comes up, covering mine over his heart.

His eyes pleading with me, and all I can do is stare back, unable to move from suffocating in them.