Chapter 6
Of course I’m running late for class as I rush into the lecture hall, sliding into my seat as the professor is already talking.
“Where have you — what the fuck are you wearing?” Low whispers, looking at me confused.
“It’s a long story.”
Pulling out my computer, I attempt to take notes, but I can’t focus. All I can think about is the look on Eli’s face this morning.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Low points down to the pink plaid skirt as we make our way out of the hall.
I met Low pretty much the first day of freshmen year, 6 years ago, and we’ve been study partners, and bad influences over each other, ever since.
All I can do is laugh as I shake my head. “Uh…” I trail off, trying to move past her.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” She laughs, coming up faster next to me. “I know there’s something. So spill on the skirt.” She demands before motioning to her car so we can go back to my apartment between lectures, like we do every day.
Sliding into the seat, I sigh as I look over at her, trying to hide my smirk.
“Oh, it’s good.”
I just shake my head as she backs out of the spot.
“I had sex last night… and this morning.”
“I mean, duh, I can tell by your face.”
I just laugh, looking over at her.
“I’m serious. I dunno how I know, but I do.”
“It’s one of Z’s friends from high school.”
“What!?” she shouts, slamming on the brakes as we come up to the stop sign.
Slowly she pulls the car out as I start again. “I mean, technically they’re not really friends anymore… at least I don’t think so…”
“Why not?”
“Well…” I trail again, looking out the window. “Eli’s a cop now.”
“What?” she shouts again. “You fucked a cop?”
“It’s not the first time.” I admit to her as I casually look over at her and her mouth hangs open.
“Are you gonna tell Z?”
“God, no.” I laugh out this time. “Eli’s convinced he’ll kill him.”
“How did it happen?”
“After the accident.” I pause, shaking my head. “He brought my phone back to me after they found it at the scene.”
She doesn’t say anything, which is fucking rare for Low.
“And I kissed him.”
“Why did you?”
“I don’t know.” I pause, shaking my head. “It’s not like it’s the first time we’d kissed.”
“Wait, you kissed him before?” She’s getting more confused by the second.
I can’t help but laugh as shake my head slightly. “Yeah, but I don’t even think he remembers.”
“How?” she mutters to herself, but I don’t really pay it any attention.
“I’ve thought this over a lot, and the only thing I can come up with is that there was just something comfortable about him. He made me feel safe. And in that moment, I just desperately needed that safety to consume me.”
“Does that feeling have to do with him being a cop?”
I can’t help but laugh out loud. “God, no. It was because it’s Eli.” I clear my throat. “Maybe cause my dad always trusted him.” I chuckle to myself as I think about something else my dad said.
“What?”
“One time my dad asked if there was anything going on between us.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s a long story. But I told him I hated Eli.”
“Why do I feel like he said something revolutionary?”
“Not at the time, but looking back…” I trail off until she nudges me to finish. “He told me it was easier to hate someone when you can’t love them.”
“Do you think he was onto something?”
I don’t answer her because I don’t know anymore. The words he said filter in through my head, making me smile as I look down.
“Anyway, I went to McGuire’s last night to thank him for not arresting Z, and ended up breaking into his house and waiting naked in his bed for 20 minutes until he got home.”
“You broke into his house.”
“See, when I told him that, he did not seem to care about it at all.”
She laughs, shaking her head again. “Wait, McGuire’s?”
I don’t answer her.
“Like the cop bar, McGuire’s?”
Glancing over, I nod my head as she pulls into the parking lot, and then we get out of the car, walking back up to my apartment.
Once the door closes behind her, she shakes her head.
“Isn’t that, like, extremely risky for you, of all people?”
I’m in the kitchen as I stop. I’m sure my cheeks flushed bright red as I turn back and look at her. “It was so hot.”
“What?”
“I’ve been going for a couple of weeks.”
“Why?”
“Hoping he’d show up.” I laugh again.
“And what happened once he did?”
“He followed me into the bathroom.”
“You fucked him at a cop bar?”
“No, but not for a lack of trying...” I giggle, trailing as I walk back into the living room.
“On my part.” I watch her as she just looks at me, quietly urging me to continue.
“He told me to wait 20 minutes, then leave and meet him at his house. He said he’d leave as soon as he could sneak away.
I thought he stood me up for a while, but then he showed up. ”
“Why his house?”
“To prove a point.”
“What?”
“I may have said something like I didn’t know where he lived so I couldn’t thank him at his house.”
“So he made you go to his house to prove you knew where he lived?”
I nod.
“But why not just go to his house? I mean, you wanted to fuck him again.”
I ignore her question and instead add. “He called me a flame.”
Furrowing her brows, she gives me the same look as I’m sure I gave Eli last night.
“He said it’s beautiful, enticing, and everyone wants to control it. But depending on the environment, it can either be beautiful and provide warmth, or destroy everything in its path.”
“Jesus…” she trails off as she looks back at me. “When are you seeing him again?”
My face dropping as I look at the ground. “I’m not.”
“What? Why?”
I don’t answer her. Instead, I just turn the TV on and focus my attention on it.
“Right… Z will kill him.”
* * *
Banging on Low’s front door, it pulls open quickly.
“Come on, let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“There’s a house party.” I tell her.
“Why didn’t I hear about it?”
“Cause someone I know from high school is throwing it.”
“I thought you didn’t like anyone from high school?”
“I don’t.”
She just stops looking at me.
“Which is why you’re coming with me.”
“Ugh.”
“It’ll be fun.” I try to give her big eyes, making her shake her head. “I just need to…” I trail off, but she knows.
“Ugh, you won’t be able to play this ‘I’m just trying to get over him’ forever.”
“Thank you!” I jump up, wrapping my arms around her neck and hugging her.
“Okay, let me get dressed.”
In less than an hour, we’re heading across town. Cars line both sides of the street for blocks before I maneuver the car right in front of the house.
Exiting the car, Low looks at me, cocking her head as she nods. “Everyone’s staring at you.”
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes.
“No, like, seriously. Everyone’s staring at you.”
“I haven’t been around since we graduated.” I nod at someone I recognize, but can’t remember their name. “Plus, that happens. But it’s never about me. It’s always something like that’s Z’s sister. Everyone hates me for different reasons. Guys won’t talk to me because of it…”
“Yeah, that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore.” She tells me as I look over, noticing a group of guys watching us.
“Please, I’ll bet you they’re too much of a little bitch to come and say anything to me.” Saying it loud enough for them to hear.
Walking back over to Low after grabbing a drink, I see her laughing with a man, and I know what’s going to happen as soon as I get close. He’ll get awkward and leave.
Not wanting to cockblock her, I walk out the back door into the yard. Sitting down at the edge of the pool. Slipping my shoes off and let my feet dangle into the water.
“Well, if it isn’t Drew Anderson.” A voice calls to me, causing me to look over. The light cast from around his face, making it difficult to distinguish any features.
“Am I supposed to know you?”
“Ouch.” He holds a hand over his heart as if I wounded him. “Maybe not, but I know who you are.”
“Join the club.” I laugh as I motion around in the air, meaning anyone here, fuck everyone in this city knows who I am, but it’s never been my choice. “Everyone’s too afraid to speak to me because of…” I trail off because we all know what I’m trying to say.
“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?” He laughs as he sits next to me.
Looking over at him, I realize he’s right as I nod my head, letting a small smile spread on my lips.
“Your brother doesn’t scare me.”
“He should.” I laugh, nodding my head. “I don’t disagree with everyone who’s afraid of him. I’m just saying if you’re not a shit person you don’t have to worry about him doing anything. He kicked the shit out of one boyfriend one time and now no one will speak to me.”
“Kicked the shit.” The man laughs. “If I remember correctly, he almost killed him.”
“He didn’t. Those are two different situations.
” I laugh again. “Everyone assumed when he was arrested it was because of that, but it wasn’t.
That was someone else. I know nothing about it.
” I shake my head as I look back at him.
Okay, so that isn’t entirely true. I know more about it, but it wasn’t the same situation.
I feel people staring at us as well sit, and I just sigh.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t ask what your name was. ”
“Kyle.”
Turning and looking at him closer, I question. “I’ve seen you around campus, haven’t I?”
“Yeah,” he nods again.
“Everyone’s staring at you, I’m sure, wondering if you have a death wish.”
“Maybe I do.” He shrugs. “Cause I’m sure everyone would warn me not to, but all I can think about is taking you out.”
* * *
“So, what time’s he supposed to pick you up?” Low asks as I lean over the sink, putting the last touches to my eyeliner.
“He’s not. I told him I’d meet him at the restaurant.”
“Really?” she sounds surprised.
“What? Him seeing my apartment seems too intimate for a first date.”
“Fair,” she pauses. “Are you ready?”
“Mostly.”
“What’s he studying again?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Right…” she trails off.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Low, if you want to ask something, just ask.”
“It’s just what all do you know about this guy?”
“I know he’s not a cop and not afraid of my family.”
“Are you sure that’s a good thing?”
Pausing, I look at myself in the mirror again. Maybe she’s right. Maybe his not being afraid to talk to me should be more concerning.
“It’s just a date.” I mumble out, staring at myself as if I’m trying to convince myself more than her.
“You’re right.” She laughs as my alarm rings. “Send me your location and let me know when you get home.”
“I know.” Rolling my eyes at yet another overprotective person in my life.
“Drew?” Kyle says from across the table as I stare off at nothing in particular.
“Huh?” realizing that the server is waiting for my order.
Nodding my head and ordering before I sigh and smile at him.
“I’m really glad you took me up on my offer.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” I laugh, meeting his eyes and tilted head as if I should know better. “Come on, my brother appears more worried about me than he actually is.”
“Good to know,” Kyle laughs.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, just that I won’t have to worry about him finding out about us until we’re ready.”
Just continuing to look at him, his comment not relieving the unease.
“I mean, you don’t want to put too much pressure on something new, right?”
“Yeah,” I mumble, sipping from my glass.
My mind wandering off once again as I can’t help but think about the eyes staring at me from the cop car as I crossed the street earlier. For a moment, I considered it to be fate telling me not to go on the date, but for some reason I continued on even through Eli’s hurt expression.
“So, what are you studying?” Kyle surprises me when he asks.
“I’m finishing law school.”
He laughs across the table, shaking his head. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Furrowing my brows as I look back. “What are you?”
“What?”
“What are you studying?”
“I’m not.” He takes a bite of the bread.
“But I’ve seen you on campus…”
“Yeah,” he nods again.
Looking around, I take note of the decent restaurant we’re at, and it all clicks. Why he’s not afraid of my brother, why he would speak to me, why I’ve seen him on campus.
“Ah,” I laugh. “I see you’re a dealer.”
He doesn’t answer me; he doesn’t have to. The smile alone says it all.
The date was fine. He walked me to my car. We shared a quick goodnight kiss, nothing magical, no sparks, and then I left.
“Drew!” Kyle moves over to me as I walk across the quad. “I had a great time the other night.”
“Me too.” It’s a bit of a stretch. It was mediocre at best.
“Do it again tomorrow night?”
I can feel Low glaring at me to get me to decline.
“Sure.”