Chapter 9 #2
“Calm down. It’s not like that.” He crosses his arms as if he doesn’t believe me. “Fine. Look, you and I, we were friends back in the day, right?” he rolls his eyes, shaking his head as if he doesn’t want to admit it. “Seriously? Shit, I mean, I know we ended up very different.”
“Fine, yeah, we were.”
“That’s why.” I deadpan. Being mostly honest. I have to force the voice quiet that’s telling me that if I tell him about this, maybe it won’t blow up if Drew and I come out.
“You told me she was your girl. And even if I nor any fucking one knows what you mean by that. I get what that means for you to say because we’ve known each other most of our lives.
But you’re way off track now.” I shake my head, forcing myself to get back to the subject. “All of these women end up broken.”
“What?” he tilts his head as if it confuses him.
“When I saw them together, something started nagging me. But like that’s my job, right? Ask questions, connect dots, follow my gut. So I did. I went back and looked at all the girls I’ve known him to date… all of them end up as a shell of a person.”
“Shit,” he whispers, understanding what it means.
“But it gets worse.”
“Fucking how?”
“Z, this is where you can’t kill the messenger.” He just glares, but I know he agrees. “They’re engaged.”
He’s so silent, but he moves forward in his seat; I’m sure preferring to process the shock silently.
“Z, he can’t break her. Stop this.”
“What am I supposed to do?” he laughs.
“She doesn’t want him.” He tries to cut me off, but I stop him. “You know that. You may not want her to, but you know what she really wants, and you know what you want.”
“I can’t give her that.”
“Bullshit.” I snap back. “Don’t sit there and try to tell me you don’t feel the same way she does.
You slept in her fucking hospital room...
for days. And you don’t know this, but I stopped by her place to check on her after they discharged her from the hospital.
” His eyes shift as if he already knows what I’m going to say.
“Yeah. You know how she has those enormous bay windows in the front of her house. It was hard to miss the two of you. As much as you don’t want to admit it anymore, but you and I were close at one time.
” I pause, trying to make sure he knows that I understand him.
“I don’t think it’s just me that doesn’t want to admit it.” He snaps at me.
“That’s not my point.” Never mind that he doesn’t actually know what’s going on.
“I have never seen you as happy as you were in the house with her. You may be able to walk around here and fool most of them, but you can’t look me in the eye and tell me otherwise.
If you sit back and do nothing. You’re going to lose her.
And from the way he leaves all the women he dates as empty shells, you may lose her forever. ”
“I’m pretty sure I’ve already lost her.”
“You haven’t seen her since they got together, have you?”
“I’ve seen her. I’ve just kept my distance.” I know he’s full of shit. “And what if she still chooses him?” It’s almost shocking how much it sounds like he’s pleading.
“Then at least you tried, and when things go bad, which they will, she’ll know you’ll be there for her.” Comes from behind me.
“Great…” Z groans, staring up at the ceiling.
“Z.” I start again. “I know you have this whole MC prez reputation thing you’re trying to uphold, but I miss my friend.” I tell him, giving him a moment of my own vulnerability.
“I’m not different.” He says. “And we didn’t end up so different. We’re both just trying to save people we care about.”
Nodding my head, agreeing, although he has no clue how right he is with that. I walk out of the room, leaving the clubhouse. Guilt radiates over me as I know the betrayal I have for everything I’ve let happen.
I catch sight of Z walking up to where I sit while I wait for the gate to open, and hesitate before I roll down the window. Trying to get myself together and wipe the fucking guilt off my face.
“You’re right. But I need your help.”
Fuck, the guilt won’t let me say no.
“What’d you need me to do?” I ask him, already hating all this.
He nods, walking around the car and getting into the passenger seat.
“Tell Tate you know of a simple job. A rental property needs cleaning.”
I can tell by his sigh that I’m just giving him an exhausted look.
“She’s not actually coming to clean it. It’s just an excuse to talk to her without him finding out.”
“That makes sense.” Nodding my head.
“Is she okay?”
“I dunno I haven’t seen her. But knowing Tate —”
“Not her.” He pauses. “Your girl.”
“Oh.” I try to keep myself from coughing out. “She’s better today.”
Nodding his head. “Good.” Pausing, he looks back over at me, and for the first time in years it’s like we’re friends again, like we’re back in high school.
Goddamn it, of course this would be now.
“Do something for me?”
“What?” I’m confused as I look at him.
“Don’t spend too much time thinking you know better.”
“What do you mean?”
“You love her?”
“It hasn’t been that long.” I mumble over my words.
“Sure,” he laughs, shaking his head as if he doesn’t believe me. “Whatever it is, then. If you think it could be something, hold on.”
Oh, the irony of him saying that, knowing how he’d react if he knew who we were talking about.
“Again, it’s complicated.”
“The best ones always are.”