Chapter 18
The headlights pull up behind the car as Collins comes to a stop. Turning the car off as he gets out, walking over to the cruiser and looking in. The windows are still fogged enough that we can’t see his face.
“Just open the damn door.” I shout through the window.
I feel Drew freeze next to me, and I give her a reassuring look, trying not to look at her shirt she had just tied back together.
“It’s okay.”
Collins opens the door as he steps away from the car, and we get out. He’s shaking his head and I can tell trying to conceal a smirk.
“You locked yourself in the back?”
“That part was an accident.” Shrugging, “I left it cracked.”
I can feel Drew’s embarrassment as she shifts from one foot to the other. I reach out, grabbing her hand as she tries to walk away.
“Thanks, man, I owe you.”
He slowly shakes his head. “What about the cameras?” He asks, serious for a moment, and I can feel Drew go rigid next to me.
“I’m not dumb; I disabled all of them beforehand.”
He nods his head again.
“Okay.” Then walks back to his car.
As he pulls off, I walk Drew back up to her car and lean in, kissing her.
Is it risky out here in the open like this? Yes. But everything in the last half hour has been risky, and honestly, I’m already getting hard again thinking about it all.
“I have an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“Let’s get out of the city for a couple of days.”
She tilts her head, looking at me as she slides back into the driver’s seat.
“You know, as much as I do, just how risky this is.” I nod around me.
She starts to say something, but I cut her off.
“I know, I know. They’re still up in purgatory since Tate showed up at the clubhouse.
” She doesn’t say anything else, just nods her head.
“I have the next two days off work. Let’s go up the coast and get a hotel, and we can walk on the beach out in the open, together.
Hell, we could go to dinner without the risk of coworkers or anyone connected with the club finding out. ”
“That sounds amazing, but I have a final on Monday.”
“Hmm,” I shake my head. “How about you come over tonight…” I trail, smirking at her.
“I have to study.” She reminds me.
“I’ll let you study… eventually.” Grinning at her. “But next weekend. Let’s go out of town. I’ll get the week off. We can stay and celebrate the end of your semester.”
* * *
The banging on the back door pulls us apart as we lie on my couch.
“The fuck?”
“Eli!” we hear shouted, causing us to look at one another wide-eyed.
“Is that my brother?” Drew whispers as I get up, walking into the kitchen and seeing him standing in the back door’s window. “I didn’t know he was back.”
“Z?” I’m about to glance back into the living room when I hear Drew’s feet padding as she rushes into the bedroom, shutting the door.
Before I make it to the door, I can see the distraught look on his face. Pulling it open, I stare at him, confused.
“What are you doing here?” I finally ask, and I’m shocked as he looks back up at me, and water’s lining his eyes. “What the hell?” I open the door wider, letting him in. He walks through the kitchen and just sits down at the table.
He says nothing for longer than anyone in this house cares to sit with. I’m sure Drew’s sitting in the bedroom, ear pressed against the door, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.
I just walk over to the cabinet, pulling out the bottle, pouring him a glass and walking it back over to him.
“Z, why are you here?”
“I didn’t know where else to go,” he whispers. “Everything is just so fucked.” He swigs the entire glass before putting it down and letting his head fall into his hands.
“What?”
“You came to me about her.”
I nod my head.
“He made her lose the baby.” Comes out in a strangled whisper.
“Shit,” I gasp this time, downing my glass before getting up and walking over, grabbing the bottle. Walking back over and refilling both our glasses.
“She showed up at the clubhouse with her bags packed. He put her in the hospital.” He downs a second glass, and I’m realizing that this isn’t his first drink of the night.
“I’m so happy she’s there with me, but I’m…
” He trails off, just starting. “I don’t even know the words.
” He looks up at me. “I offered to raise him with her.”
“Where’s your bike?” Concerned about how he was able to stay upright on it.
“I walked.”
“From where?”
“Pistons. I came up the back cause I figured you wouldn’t want anyone seeing a criminal at your front door.”
“I don’t give a shit about that.” I wave it off. He gives me a curious look. “Let me drive you back.”
“Thanks.” He nods his head for a moment before he stands up, swaying a bit, and then a laugh falls out.
“Let me just…” I trail, looking back to the hall.
“Ah, shit. You have company over.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me, making me laugh. “You don’t have —”
“Stop, it’s fine. She has an early morning, already gone to bed. I’ll just let her know I’ll be back.”
Nodding his head, he waits as I walk back towards my bedroom. Pushing the door open, closing it behind me, and shaking my head at how ridiculous this entire situation is.
“Sketch?” I call out to her before her head pokes out of the bathroom. I try not to laugh, shaking my head. “He’s drunk.”
“Why’s he here?”
“I don’t know.” I say. “Said he didn’t know where else to go. Seems like he’s having a meltdown about Tate.”
“But why here? And this is what twice that I’ve been here. I didn’t think you guys liked each other anymore?”
“Me neither.” I laugh,
She gives me a questioning look as I just shrug.
“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”
Nodding her head, she takes a couple of steps toward me and leans up on her toes, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. “I love you.”
I understand the significance of her saying it first this time.
“I love you too.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For giving a shit about him. Regardless of the bullshit he’s put you through, and the shit you’re inevitably going to go through because of me.”
“Nah,” I laugh. “The shit I’m gonna get for this is separate. And worth it completely on its own.”
“You know you’ve already gotten laid today, right?”
It makes me laugh out loud as I shake my head. “Believe me, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.” Pausing, I hesitate again. As I hear footsteps walking around the house. “I should go before he tries to come in here.”
“Go,” she whispers, leaning in and kissing me again, and then I’m back out the door.
“Ready?” I ask Z as I enter the kitchen, but not surprised he’s no longer in here. Walking out into the living room, shaking my head as I look over to the couch where we were just lying. He’s sitting in the middle, his head in his hands. “You okay?”
“No.” He looks up at me, his eyes red, and I’m not sure how to navigate this entire thing.
“Should I call Tate?”
“No.” he shakes his head. “I’m fine. I just…” he trails off.
“Come on.” I nod my head toward the door.
Sagging into the passenger side of the truck, the door slams harder than I’m pretty sure he meant to.
Leaning his forehead against the window, he stares out of it.
“Bro, this is fucking weird.” I look over at him, making him laugh out, nodding his head. “Talk it out.”
“I don’t know.” He pauses. “I can’t talk to anyone at the club about it.”
Even though I know he won’t see it, I nod my head. “I’m guessing that’s why you showed up at my house?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Plus, probably something to do with us as kids.”
“What?”
“I dunno, granted we hate each other now.”
Some reason that stings more than it should.
“But you know who I am, like underneath this bullshit I try to parade around.”
“That makes sense… then talk it out.”
“It just doesn’t really make sense. Why would I be this upset about a baby that wasn’t mine?”
“Really?” I laugh, glance over and met with a questioning look. “If it weren’t for your parents, I’d be dead.” Pausing for a second as I come to a stop at the light. “They gave me a place to hide out from my place; shit, they protected me when I needed it.”
“Yeah imagine how proud they’d be of you now.”
“And there it is.” I murmur to myself.
“What?”
“The asshole coming back out. I was waiting for it, really.” I snip out. I debate telling him right now, just coming clean about everything, but I can’t do that yet.
And I know he won’t believe me.
“I have a feeling they’d be just fine with it.” I mutter to myself under my breath
“It makes zero sense.”
It sounds like he’s wanting an answer, as if why I became a cop has been gnawing away at him for years.
“Believe me, if I told you why, it probably still wouldn’t make sense.”
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been confused about it myself.
We both stare forward, looking out the windshield as we come to a stop in front of the garage.
“God, it’s been years since I’ve been here.” I mumble to him.
Memories flood back as we were in high school, working here.
Sure, most of the time the shit we were doing we weren’t supposed to be, but it’s not like we cared.
Looking down at my hands, the scar across my middle finger from the time Z and I both cut them off while not paying attention to what we were doing… and possibly fucking off.
“Dad was pissed over that.” Z laughs out loud as he shakes his head, looking down at his own hand.
“I remember Caroline almost didn’t let us go back.” We both laugh talking about his parents.
“I ran into your mom the other day.”
His words make my body go rigid. “Oh, yeah, how’s she doing?”
He lets out a gruff before saying. “You talk to her lately?”
“Nope.”
“Good.” He pauses. “What about Becca?”
I shrug. “We haven’t really talked in a while.”
He slowly nods his head. “How did we all get so fucked up?” he questions, leaning his head back again the headrest. “I think I’ve just been really lonely for so long.
It’s like everything fell apart after they died.
Every time Zeke and I speak, we’re at each other’s throats.
Drew’s around, but we’re so distant still.
I see her occasionally, but… I told her the other day to stay in LA then realized half way to purgatory that she doesn’t live in LA and no fucking idea why I said it.
” he trails off as if he’s not sure exactly what to say about that.
Clearing his throat, he nods his head again.
“I took this on willingly, not knowing how it was going to challenge everything.”
He looks right at me, and I nod my head. “I get that.” I mumble and I do. I understand what he’s getting at. Our decisions, the positions we’ve taken, have challenged and isolated us. “Z,” I pause as he glances back at me. “Just remember things are rarely as they seem.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Let’s just leave it at: there’s a reason I’m terrible at my job.”
“Why? Just give me a reason to believe you’re not full of shit.”
“Just leave it as I’m not actually here to be a cop.”
“Then —”
I know what he’s about to ask, so I cut him off. “Z, you’re drunk. This isn’t the time to have this conversation. Especially since you won’t remember this in the morning.” And if I’m being honest, it’s not time to have this conversation.
Slowly, he nods his head.
“You care about losing the baby ‘cause you grew up knowing that blood isn’t what makes you family.” Even in his drunken stupor, he knows what I’m telling him.
We both know he already looked at the baby as his own.
“Loyalty makes it. I know you don’t think I’m family anymore, but you’d probably be surprised. ”
The question is: Will he remember this conversation in the morning? Doubtful.
Clearing his throat, he tilts his head and laughs. “So, same girl as before?”
I can’t help but laugh as I nod my head.
“How’s it going?”
I let out an awkward laugh as I just shake my head, twisting and biting on my tongue. “Even more complicated.”
“How can it still be complicated? I’ve even known about it for months.”
I guess this would be a good trial run. “It wasn’t supposed to be anything. It was supposed to be a onetime thing. Because we can’t really be together.”
“Why?” he lets out a sarcastic laugh. “She married your rival?”
I let his comment go by the wayside because, just as he’s said before normally, when we’re both sober, we’re rivals, so he’s not that far off from the truth.
“No, but her family wouldn’t approve of it.”
He laughs loudly as he looks back over. “What are they closer to my side of the law?”
“Something like that.”
The irony.
“You know that’s playing with death, right?”
“Trust me, I’ve told her that. I tried to stay away, but…” I trail off for a moment, thinking of her. “Honestly, if I’m murdered over it, it’ll be worth it.”
“Damn, you’re a sappy fuck.”
I laugh out loud as I nod my head. “She brings it out of me.”
“You know, I’m not gonna remember shit in the morning, right?”
“I’m kind of counting on it.”
* * *
Walking back into the house, the light shines from around my bedroom door. Pushing it open, I see her lying on her stomach, in my T-shirt with nothing on underneath, as she writes something from her book.
The earbuds silencing my approach, biting my lip as I lean over her, my hand tracing up her thigh to her core. Snapping her head around out of instinct, she smirks as our eyes lock, and I nod for her to move her book out of the way so we don’t mess up her work.
Reaching up, she plucks the earbuds out and tosses them on the floor where she had pushed her book.
“How’d it go?” She asks me as her hands come up, pulling me to kneel on the bed in front of her.
“Fine,” I tell her. “He asked me again who was in my bed, though.”
“Oh yeah, and what’d you tell him?”
“That he didn’t want to know.”
She pouts her bottom lip as she looks up at me through her lashes. Pushing herself up as she reaches up, unhooking my belt and popping the button.
“He’s not gonna remember any of that in the morning. Not the time to tell him I’m in love with his sister.”
“Oh, you’re good.” She whispers as she pulls my jeans and boxers down to my thighs. “You know, I was gonna suck your dick anyway, right?”