Chapter 6
APRIL
I hadn’t been expecting that – the gentle redressing of my body, as if he was concerned for my dignity. And I certainly hadn’t expected to be left standing alone on that beach, my whole body throbbing with unsatisfied need.
Once Jamie disappears into the house I take some deep, shuddering breaths and try to get my hands to stop shaking.
He’s turning me into a half-crazed mess.
But perhaps that’s his plan. He wants to see me lose my legendary cool.
Can he really be that shallow? I can’t quite reconcile it with the Jamie I’m starting to get to know all over again. The philanthropic businessman. The talented cook and attentive host.
A man I’d told myself he wasn’t capable of being.
But I can’t let that knowledge sway me. So what if he doesn’t appear to be the shallow arsehole I thought he was? It doesn’t mean it would be a good idea to get emotionally involved with him again. It doesn’t mean he’s not playing a sadistic game of cat and mouse with me.
I trudge back to the house, bra in hand, hyper-aware of my sensitive nipples rubbing against the soft material of the dress like a caress.
Everything I’ve sensed, seen or touched since I’ve been here in his company has felt sexualised, as if Jamie’s ministrations, or lack of them, have put my body on constant high alert.
The empty space between my legs throbs with the need to be filled.
To feel the heavy weight of his cock inside me again.
Damn it. I’m letting him get to me and that can only end in disappointment and pain. Just like the last relationship we had. Men are selfish, self-serving beasts and Jamie De Montfort is no exception.
Like father, like son.
As soon as I get back to my room, I take another cooling shower before retiring to bed.
I sleep fitfully till the early-morning sun bleeds around the shutters on my windows waking me up.
Getting out of bed, I stretch my tired muscles and take some deep centring breaths, preparing myself for a brand-new day of tactical engagement, my stomach fizzing with nerves.
Jamie is nowhere to be seen when I make it downstairs, dressed and ready for battle in a pair of blue silk shorts and a simple white cotton vest top.
I make my way to the kitchen where I find fresh aromatic coffee and a plate full of pastries waiting for me.
I pour myself a large mug of black coffee and take it with a custard-filled filo parcel through the living area and out to the terrace where we’d sat the night before.
Even though the sun isn’t fully on that part of the house yet, it’s lovely and warm, and I sink into a dining chair and sip my coffee as I stare out to sea.
It really is beautiful here. I can see why Jamie bought this island.
There’s an air of serenity about the place, a calmness that’s impossible to find in London.
It’s been a long time since I’ve just sat and stared, I realise.
Usually, I’m looking at my emails while eating my breakfast. My stomach gives a nervous roll at the thought of what’s happening – or more to the point, what isn’t – without me.
It’s so hard to turn my brain off from work. I seem to eat, sleep and breathe it nowadays. No wonder I’m finding the quiet and stillness of this place so unnerving.
I’ve just finished my delicious pastry when there’s a movement in the corner of my eye and Jamie strides onto the terrace in gym shorts, his glorious torso naked and gleaming with sweat in the soft morning sun.
My stomach swoops and my face immediately heats, as though someone’s just directly aimed a furnace at it.
Reaching for my coffee mug, I take a long sip to give me a moment to compose myself.
My God, he looks good after just working out. Hot, virile and so bloody healthy.
‘Morning. I hope you slept well,’ he says, his tone practically winking with innuendo. He must know how much his teasing game of slow seduction is getting to me.
‘Very well, thanks,’ I say coolly. It might be visibly obvious that I’m struggling with his half-naked presence but there’s no way I’m vocally going to admit to it. I need to maintain some vestige of pride here. ‘I hope you don’t mind – I helped myself to breakfast,’ I add.
‘Of course not. I put it out so you could.’
So we’re still alone, then.
He takes a seat opposite me, his eyes never leaving mine. ‘I want you to relax while you’re here. Take a break from the rush of your life. Focus on one thing for once, instead of a million of them.’
‘Focus on you, you mean?’ I say with a wry smile.
His shrug is nonchalant. ‘Yes. I do. And in order to do that you need to calm that overactive brain of yours. That’s why I wanted you to stay for a few days.’
‘Are you trying to tell me you’re doing this for my health now?’
‘Partly, maybe. But I’m also interested in seeing the April I used to know. Back when you weren’t driven by profit and loss. When you could laugh at yourself and actually enjoy life.’
Thinking about the person I used to be makes my chest contract.
‘She doesn’t exist any more. She died the day my mother did,’ I say, keeping my voice brisk and dispassionate.
His gaze locks with mine and an expression of sadness crosses his face.
‘I don’t believe that,’ he says quietly. Leaning forward, he braces his hands on the table. ‘I think she’s still in there somewhere.’
My laugh is strained and cynical. ‘Well, if she is, I can’t find her.’ I swipe my hand through the air, swatting away the notion. ‘Anyway, I wouldn’t want to be that na?ve again. I’m proud of the life I’ve made for myself. I have everything I’ve ever wanted now.’
‘Everything?’ he asks.
I feel my heart starting to beat harder in my chest. ‘Yes,’ I lie.
‘I remember you saying that to me once before, when we were together.’
My throat dries as I remember exactly the time he’s talking about.
We’d spent the weekend together, mostly in bed, only getting up to eat then go out to a gig at a local pub.
We’d been sitting at a sticky table with pints of lager in front of us, relaxed and happy in our cosy world of private jokes and dreams for the future. A future together.
That moment had felt perfect in its simplicity.
I had had everything I wanted.
I’d had Jamie.
And I’d thought that if we were together then everything would always be okay.
How wrong I’d been.
‘That was a long time ago,’ I murmur, the words rough in my throat. ‘A lot’s happened in the meantime. Like growing up and having adult responsibilities.’
‘What responsibilities?’
‘My sisters, for one.’
He frowns. ‘But they’re adults too now. I’m sure they’re totally capable of looking after themselves.’
I sigh, feeling the weight of my family’s dysfunction pressing down on me. ‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But Maya is so irresponsible and Juno always seems to have her head so far up in the clouds she doesn’t notice life going on around her.’
‘I thought they were both happy with partners now. That’s what I heard.’
I pause before I speak, mulling this over. ‘Yes, they are. That’s true. But I suppose I’ll always think of them as kids needing my support. They were both so young when our mother died and I was the one they relied on to step in and fill that role. I suppose I’ve never shaken it off.’
He stares at me, his brow a little pinched, as if something’s just occurred to him.
‘It sounds like it’s time to do that now, though – let go a little?’
I shrug, feeling uncomfortable. This conversation is a little too close to the bone for my liking. ‘Perhaps.’
There’s another weighted pause.
‘Come for a swim,’ he says, suddenly getting up from his chair and looking at me expectantly.
‘I don’t have a swimsuit,’ I point out.
‘Yes, you do. There’s a bikini in your wardrobe.’ He steps away from the table. ‘I’ll see you in the pool in half an hour,’ he says in a no-nonsense tone, striding away before I have time to respond.
I stare after him, feeling a mixture of irritation at being told what to do and disgruntled respect for his absolute conviction that I’ll do exactly what he tells me.
That kind of confidence is a strength I’ve not seen in many men.
And I like it. It impresses me.
It always has.
And I guess I need to play by his rules of engagement for the time being, even if the idea of slipping and accidentally showing something real of myself terrifies me.
But I won’t let that happen.
I can’t. It’d be a disaster.
So I guess I’m going swimming.
Jamie
I’ve already done fifty laps of the pool before April shows up, a towelling robe wrapped around her and her golden swathe of hair pinned up on top of her head.
I take a break at the edge of the pool and watch her unwrap herself and lay the robe neatly onto one of the sun loungers at the side of the pool.
I surmise from an almost imperceptible stiffness in her movements that she’s keenly aware of me watching her, but when she turns to face me there’s no hint of discomfort in her expression.
She’s a pro actress. I’ll give her that.
Her body is lithe and toned, as I knew it would be, and my heart judders in my chest as I watch her walk to the edge of the pool and execute a perfect dive into the deep end.
She re-emerges about fifteen feet away from me after swimming most of the length underwater.
Standing up, she swipes her hands over her face to clear the water from her vision.
Water droplets cascade down her shoulders, arms and between her breasts and I find I can’t tear my gaze away from her. She really is a breathtakingly attractive woman. Not just physically, but in the indomitable way she conducts herself. She’s totally in command of every move she makes.
I itch to break that strict control and free her from the constraints she puts herself under.
‘Come here,’ I suggest with a grin when she raises a cool, laconic eyebrow at my examination of her.
But she doesn’t, damn her. Instead, she gives me a shrewd sort of smile that tells me she’s not just meekly going to follow my instructions. She’s going to make me work for it.
My cock hardens at the defiance I see in her eyes.