Chapter 9
JAMIE
Afterwards we take a bath together.
She sits between my legs, her back to my chest with my arms wrapped around her.
It feels right, our bodies melded together so perfectly.
The intensity of our fucking over the last couple of days has both surprised and fascinated me. I had no idea I could reach the highs I have with her. No idea I could reach a state where my body physically aches for hers to be pressed against, beside or around me.
Her total trust in me, downstairs in my library just now, pretty much blew my mind.
I still feel a bit unnerved by it, to tell the truth.
The way she looked at me after I said that stupid thing about only wanting to taste alcohol when it was on her skin had shaken me at the time.
Because I realised it was too romantic a thing to say.
Too personal and weighted with feeling. Which is why I’d flipped the mood into one of me dominating her instead.
I’d wanted to show her I was still in charge of my feelings.
But then that had got away from me too when she told me that that filthy, intimate act was all mine – that most personal sacrifice of her body. All mine. And I realised she was totally giving herself to me. Trusting me.
In those profound, emotionally raw moments it seemed as if she was only just stopping short of saying I love you.
This should have delighted me – persuading her to fall for my charms had been my aim in getting her here, after all – but it didn’t. It scared me. Because of what it might mean.
And now, lying here in the water with her, I’m intensely aware of the pressure of time ticking away.
Tomorrow is our last day together and then our deal is complete.
I still need to ask her the questions that I’ve been avoiding touching on until I’m satisfied she trusts me enough to answer honestly.
But I realise now that I’m not so sure I want to know.
Or if I want to act on the information any more, whatever it turns out to be.
Whatever April’s father did, it doesn’t matter so much to me any more.
Though perhaps I should have it, just so I can mentally put the past to rest.
What matters is that we’ve both been given a chance to move on. To wherever that might be.
But I don’t want to ask her about it right now. I can’t bring myself to ruin this feeling of peace I have inside me.
So it’ll be tomorrow, then.
Tomorrow I’ll get out of her what my father wanted me to know.
‘Tell me about your life now,’ I say to her as I run my fingers over her wet, soapy skin – from the magnificent swell of her breasts to the gentle jut of her hip bones. I suddenly can’t imagine not being able to touch this body again.
‘It’s mostly work, work, work,’ she murmurs. ‘The job I do is usually so intense, there’s not a lot of time for fun.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ I mutter against her hair, breathing in the fresh, intoxicating scent of her, committing it to memory.
‘You know, I haven’t had a proper holiday for about five years, so my time here has actually been very welcome.’
‘I’m glad it hasn’t been an entirely horrific experience,’ I say with a wry lilt to my voice.
She turns her head to look up at me, her expression filled with warmth.
It’s so beautiful.
She’s so beautiful.
‘Barely horrific at all. Apart from the terrible, tormenting pleasure I’ve had to put up with from you,’ she says with a frowning sort of grin.
But I can tell she’s not really angry about that.
If anything, she’s enjoyed it more than she ever thought she would.
Because she likes to be challenged and have her boundaries pushed – something no other men have been brave enough to try, I’m pretty damn sure.
I smile and bend down towards her, kissing her soft mouth, loving the unique taste of her.
But I am. I’m brave enough.
Because I understand her. I know what she needs better than anyone else on the planet and I love seeing her reaction when I give it to her.
I love it.
April
I wake up the next day with Jamie lying in bed next to me, his arm slung protectively round my waist.
I feel him stir as I shift a little against him.
‘Morning,’ he murmurs into my hair.
My skin rushes with goose bumps as I feel his hand begin to caress my stomach then move up to graze my breasts, his fingertips playing with my instantly erect nipples.
I’m not sure how he’s done it, but he’s turned my body into an instrument of sexual pleasure, and I can’t get enough of him playing with me.
I slowly turn to face him, smiling at his sleep-worn face. He’s such a handsome man, and the memory of his dreams still in his eyes and his jaw rough with stubble takes away none of his appeal.
I could gaze at his face forever.
As if sensing my thoughts, he reaches up to stroke his fingers over my cheek and down to my lips, where he plays with his fingertip for a moment, leaving a delicious shimmer of sensation in the trail of his touch.
Without a word he rolls on top of me, not breaking eye contact for a second, and slides his thighs between mine, opening me up to the demands of his body.
I let him, feeling my pussy pulse with the urgent need to have him inside me again, as if it’s been an age since he was last there.
He’s already hard and after a small adjustment he pushes his cock deep inside me, his eyes locking with mine, his mouth hovering above my lips as I draw in a deep, satisfied gasp.
We move together, our bodies and minds as fused as they could ever be, our gazes never leaving the other’s.
It’s such a blissfully complete connection, where our bodies are speaking to each other without us needing to utter a word. We thrust and grind ourselves together, needing it faster and harder as we get closer to our goal of mutual pleasure.
And still we don’t look away.
It’s so intensely intimate, staring into his eyes like this as he brings me to climax, that I experience what I can only describe as a brain orgasm. It rushes through my head, then down, deep through my body, taking my breath away.
He comes a moment after I do, finally screwing his eyes shut as he shudders above me, lost in his own climax of ecstasy.
‘Oh fuck, that was intense,’ he murmurs after a moment of calm, his body still pressed into mine. He leans back and smiles into my eyes and I can’t help but smile back. It’s like an instinct I can’t fight any more.
This is such a perfect moment, I can’t bear to think it might be the last one I ever have with him.
‘I’ve really enjoyed being here with you. It’s been wonderful to have a break from real life,’ I say, though I have to force it through a throat that’s uncomfortably constricted.
‘All those responsibilities seem miles away right now, huh?’
‘They do,’ I say with a pained sigh. ‘But I guess it’s time to get back to them now.’
I rub my eyes, feeling the weight of my life back in England begin to press in on me.
If only I could stay here forever…
‘Tell me something,’ he says, propping himself up on one elbow and supporting his head with his hand while he gazes down at me, his eyes searching mine as if he’s looking for more of my deepest desires in them.
‘Hmm?’
‘What was it about your mother’s death that meant it had to be you to hold your family together? Why did your father go to pieces like he did?’
I stiffen, my heart suddenly racing a mile a minute, and I swallow hard as my throat tightens in panic. I wasn’t expecting that question right now and I feel blindsided by it.
‘He was in shock for a long time. A loss like that can affect people in very different ways,’ I bluster, but I can tell from the look in his eye that he knows I’m lying.
Suddenly I’m too hot, my skin is burning and my lungs no longer seem to be able to take in as much air as they need. I try to shuffle out from under him so I can breathe again.
He resists me, but only for a moment, before letting me go.
I slide out from under his body and sit up, but the edgy heat doesn’t recede.
‘Was he more involved in what happened to her than he’s ever admitted?’ Jamie says, sitting up too.
‘What do you mean?’ I ask, trying to keep my voice breezy, as if I genuinely have no clue what he’s talking about, as I get out of bed and reach for my underwear, pulling it on with fumbling fingers.
‘I mean, I get that it was a terrible shock to lose her so suddenly, but was there more to her accident than was made common knowledge? What made your father shut down like he did? It seems odd for a man like Maxim, someone who’s so emotionally cold and always in control of everything he does, to react in that way. ’
‘What are you trying to imply?’ I’m shaken, unnerved. There’s a new, cunning look in his eyes that I’ve not seen before. I’m sure I’m not imagining it. And it’s scaring the hell out of me.
‘I think there’s more to the story. And I think you know what it is. But you’ve kept it from everyone. What are you protecting your father from? Jail time? Or social condemnation?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I say, but there’s a giveaway tremble in my voice.
I feel trapped now, panicky. What the hell is going on here?
Jamie seems to sense my anxiety because he gets up from the bed and comes towards me, taking my face between his hands and looking into my eyes, his gaze steady and determined.
‘Tell me what really happened to your mother.’
‘I can’t.’ I shake my head loose from his hold and turn away from him to grab my dress, which I pull over my head with trembling hands.
‘I know there was more to it,’ he says forcefully behind me.
I spin round to look at him. ‘How do you know?’ I demand. He can’t know. Who would have told him? Only three of us know what really happened and I know for damn sure my father would never have said anything to anyone.
‘My father sent me a posthumous letter alluding to the fact there was more to the story and that you know about it.’