Chapter 5
The air was thick with tension as we walked to his car, regret starting to pool in my stomach. Noah held the passenger door open for me as I finally got to his car.
“Look at you being a gentleman” I tease, sliding onto the passenger seat of his car. .
There’s no turning back now.
“I’m trying, that’s for sure,” closing the door behind me, he seemed more nervous than normal.
The drive to the ceremony was about 25 minutes. I was nervous about how the ride was going to go, and if I was making the right choice. I decided to text Liam and let him know.
Isabel: Hey. I just want you to hear it from me, Noah’s giving me a ride to the ceremony.
There’s a pause before the dots appear.
Liam: Are you sure that’s a good idea after last night? I don’t love it, Isabel. It doesn’t exactly feel like the best way to start.. us.
A knot tightens in my stomach.
Isabel: I don’t think he’s going to hurt me again. It was a one-time thing, he was drunk. I know that last comment was out of line, but we’ve been friends our entire lives. I at least owe him the chance to talk.
Liam: I know. And I’m really trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I just..I care about you.
Another pause.
Liam: You’re my girlfriend. I just want you safe.
Isabel: I know. I care about you too. I’ll tell you everything tonight. Promise.
Liam: Okay. Have fun. Text me if you have time. I love you.
I stare at my phone.
No-re-read it.
My heart slams into my ribs as if it’s trying to escape my chest. Did he just say I love you? Out of nowhere?
I lower my phone slowly, the car suddenly too quiet, my thoughts spiraling. Two hours ago I was terrified this would end before it even started, and now he’s dropping three words that feel way too big, way too fast.
I don’t know whether I want to laugh, cry, or text him back immediately and pretend my heart isn’t doing somersaults.
Noah's eyes dark with frustration. “Liam?”
I nod, keeping my gaze steady. “Yep.”
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. “Bella, where do we go from here?”
I swallow, my heart hammering. “I… I don’t know, Noah. I really don’t. I’m dating Liam now.”
His shoulders slump slightly, and I can see the pain flicker across his face. Honestly… part of me wants him to feel it.
“Why?” His voice cracks, low and raw.
“Why what?” I ask, tilting my head, waiting.
“Why him?”
I take a deep breath, letting the words land slowly, deliberately. “Because, Noah, he makes me feel like I matter. Like I’m not just….an option. I’m tired of second chances. I’m tired of being someone you only want when it’s convenient for you.”
His jaw tightens. His hands clench at his sides. “Convenient? Bella, I’ve always cared about you!”
I shake my head letting the weight of my decision settle between us. “Caring isn’t enough, Noah. Not when it comes too late.”
“Did I not deserve the respect, or even the basic decency, of a face-to-face breakup?” I ask, my voice shaking despite my effort to steady it. “Or at least a phone call? Or was it that if you saw me, if you heard my voice, you wouldn’t be able to go through with it?”
I take a breath, but it comes out uneven. “You vanished, Noah. You disappeared off the face of the planet for six weeks. And then suddenly, last night, you show up talking about how much you care about me. About how you want to be with me.”
My throat tightens. “I know about Sydney.”
His jaw tightens, just slightly, and that’s all the confirmation I need.
“I was hoping that you’d just be honest with me,” I continue, my voice cracking. “But instead, you let me be the bad guy. And you know what? Fine. I can live with that.”
Tears spill before I can stop them, my chest aching as everything I’ve been holding in finally breaks loose. “I just needed you to be honest with me. Just once.”
My voice drops to a whisper.
“Why wasn’t I good enough for you?”
I look over at him. His face is pale, almost ghostly.
Sydney. The name feels like fire on my tongue. It feels..good-delicious even-to throw her in his face. Because he didn’t want space. He didn’t want honesty. He just didn’t want me.
“Who..who told you about Sydney?” he asks, his voice small, almost sheepish.
I tilt my head, letting a slow, deliberate smile form and low chuckle releases. “Oh, Noah, I guess some secrets have a way of coming out. Funny how that works, isn’t it?”
He opens his mouth, then closes it, clearly caught off guard. I lean back, the calm in my voice belying the storm behind it. “I just thought you should know, since you clearly weren’t going to tell me yourself.”
Noah pulls the car over and takes my hand, his grip tight but trembling.
“Isabel, I am so sorry,” he whispers, cupping my face in his hands, brushing away the tears that I thought I had fought back.
I pull slightly, enough to make my point. “Noah, I can’t be with you. I don’t think you’re sorry-you’re sorry you got caught. I can’t trust you. I deserve better. You know that. Please, just let me go. Please.”
He swallows hard, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I know,” he croaks. “You.. you were good enough for me. Too good for me. I-” His voice falters. “I broke all of it. Us. And I am so sorry.”
I keep my gaze forward, refusing to look at him. The car smells faintly of him, of regret and whiskey, and I force myself to focus on the road. “We need to go, or we’ll be late,” I say quietly, but firmly, my heart still hammering in my chest.
A silence falls between us, thick and almost unbearable, but for the first time in weeks, I feel… free.
However, the tear gates have been broken, and now are refusing to stop. Isabel, for God's sake, stop crying.
Noah puts the car in drive and continues to the ceremony.
When we get to the ceremony, I slip into the bathroom to freshen up. My hands are still shaking, and I realize I need to hear Liam’s voice, just for a second, to remind me that not everything is falling apart.
“Hello, beautiful,” he says, his voice soft and steady.
“Hey,” I reply, trying to keep the edge of sadness from creeping in.
“Are you okay? You sound.. sad?”
Damn it.
“ I’m okay. I just needed to hear your voice,” I admit, letting the words linger.
There’s a pause, then he speaks again, warm and steady. “Well, let me know whenever you’re on your way home. I’ll meet you at the house with dinner. And hey… about what I said earlier, in the heat of the moment-”
I cut him off gently. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk later. The ceremony is about to start, and I need to focus. Thanks for answering, Liam.”
“Always,” he says, and just like that, I feel a little lighter. Even in the middle of all the chaos, knowing he’s there makes it feel like… maybe I can breathe again.
I walk out and meet up with Olivia’s family, and of course Brad and Noah.
“You good?” Brad asked me, looking at Noah.
“Yeah, I’m good. And him?” as tears still sting my eyes.
Get it together. Damn.
“He’s been better,”
“There’s no one to blame here except for him. He’s just upset that he got caught” I snark while smoothing my dress.
“Isabel, I’m not taking the blame for him. That’s all on him,” Brad says, his voice calm but firm, “but it’s okay to be upset. You haven’t shown any emotion this entire time, and we both know you’re hurting.”
I let out a shaky breath, gripping the edge of the chair.
“Brad, I begged for his attention for weeks. I wanted to confront him about Sydney-for weeks! And he took that chance from me. And now..now that I’m happy with someone else, now he wants to talk about us, now he wants to be with me.
He doesn’t get this. He doesn’t get that he broke me, and he doesn’t get another chance to break me again.
And he sure as hell doesn’t get the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt me. ”
I shake my head, tears threatening to spill. “I put myself back together. I’m happy again. And he doesn’t get the privilege of knowing that I was-” I stop myself, swallowing the last words. Some things are mine to keep.
That you were in love with him, with your whole heart. That was the first time I said those words out loud, hell, I didn’t even tell Noah that while we were together. But it’s too late now.
“That you were in love with me?” Noah murmurs, his voice low as we step into the auditorium.
The warmth of his breath against my ear sends an unwanted shiver down my spine-muscle memory reminding me of things I refuse to revisit. I hate that my body remembers him even when my heart knows better.
I steady myself and don’t answer. I don’t even look at him. Because I can’t give him that. I can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that I was completely, utterly, hopelessly in love with him.
Some truths don’t deserve to be spoken aloud, especially to the people who broke them.
Brad slid into the seat between Noah and me, and I silently thanked him for it.
“When were you going to tell me Ollie texted you?” he asked, elbowing me-right into the bruise on my arm.
I winced, grabbing my arm, then gave him a wry smile. “It’s some shit, ain’t it?”
He shook his head, half-amused, half-serious. “Noah told me what happened… that you actually stood up for yourself. Didn’t melt like you usually do with him. I’m proud of you, Bella.”
I felt a small swell of pride, even with Noah sitting just a few inches away, his expression unreadable. It was a quiet victory, but it was mine.
The graduation ceremony was surprisingly quick. Just like that, our girl was a high school graduate and an official adult. After the ceremony, we were all gathered in the reception hall waiting for Olivia.
“You did it!!” I screeched as I saw her running across the hall.
“Thank God! Now let's have the best summer of our lives!” she screeched out of excitement.
We all cheered and posed for what felt like a thousand pictures.
“Alright Isabel, are you ready to go?” Noah asked with a look as if just speaking to me was painful.
“Yeah” forgetting that he was my ride home.
I shot a quick text to Liam, letting him know we were leaving. My heart fluttered at the thought of finally spending a whole night just the two of us.
It still felt a little weird to call him my boyfriend..everything was happening so fast. The way he had become possessive, the way he told me he loved me within the first 24 hours, yeah, it freaked me out a bit.
But underneath that nervous edge was something else. A warmth, a thrill, a certainty I hadn’t felt in a long time. For the first time in weeks, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I was hoping that the ride home would be quiet, saying the ride here was intense and emotional and I just didn't have it in me for another ride like that. We drove 10 minutes in absolute complete silence, and then Noah pulled off on the side of the road.
I don’t know if I have it in me to fight with him anymore.
“Please.. just hear me out,” he begged, his voice low and urgent. “Sydney- that was a mistake. It was never supposed to happen. I loved you, Bella. I know you loved me too. Don’t let this slip away, we can fix it. Please.. I love you.”
His words dripped with desperation, but I could feel the weight behind them, the way he tried to twist my guilt against me.
“The difference is… I was in love with you.”
I swallow hard, my chest burning. “Noah, you don’t love me. You love the idea of me. Because you don’t do this to someone you love. Your whole excuse about Sydney is bullshit. You don’t just ‘accidentally’ find someone else while you are in a relationship unless you’re already looking.”
My voice cracks, but I don’t stop. “I was in love with you, Noah. There’s a difference between loving someone and being in love. I love you because of our history, because of everything we grew up with, and I don’t think that will ever fully go away.”
I shake my head, anger flooding back in. “Everyone thought you were it. Our families. Our friends. Everyone. Damn it, you were supposed to be it. No more heartbreak. No more sadness. No more boys. You were the one I was going to spend forever with. You were fucking it.”
My breath comes fast now. “And instead, you turned out to be exactly like everyone else.. throwing me away the moment someone new came along.”
I laugh bitterly, tears stinging my eyes. “Seeing you with her less than twenty-four hours after you told me you ‘needed space’ felt like a knife to the gut. And now-now that I’ve finally put myself back together, now that I’m happy… you suddenly want me again?”
I shake my head, hands trembling. “No. This is done. I told you that. Now take me home before I decide to walk the ten miles myself.”
I can not stay in something that will inevitably end in heartbreak every time, and when I'm with Noah that is exactly what is bound to happen. The rest of the drive was in complete silence. When we got home Liam was there waiting for me.
“This is fucking perfect” Noah mumbles under his breath.
“Come again?” glaring right at him, completely annoyed with his rude comments about Liam.
I opened the door and began walking towards Liam.
Noah opens the door and shouts “Isabel. Stop. I didn’t mean anything by it”.
I glare at Liam, who is just an innocent witness.
“Noah, what is it about Liam that you don’t like?
You have said 5 words to him! Liam has way more reason to not like you, and yet he gives you the benefit of the doubt.
Oh, I know, you don’t like him because he makes me happy.
I’m convinced that you only like me miserable because why else are you doing this?
” I walk towards my house with the return of my shaking hands.
“Please, just come back and finish the conversation” he begs.
“This conversation is over Noah” I shouted while walking away from him, towards Liam.
“I still have something to say,” Noah shouts.
“Then say it, you know what maybe you shouldn’t,” glaring, as Liam intertwined his fingers in mine, “Noah, you had six weeks to talk. You didn’t want to talk until you saw me with Liam. Say what you need to say. He was going to find out anyway, so might as well have him hear it first hand”.
“Bella… please,” Noah pleaded, his voice cracking.
I shook my head, a mix of exhaustion and relief washing over me. “Go talk to Sydney, because I don’t care anymore.”
I glanced at Liam, and for the first time in weeks, it didn’t matter what Noah thought or wanted. My chest felt lighter.
“Please, Noah. Leave. This conversation is over.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond, I turned toward Liam, feeling the weight of the past six weeks finally lift off my shoulders.