Chapter 19
Everything sounds warped, like it’s coming from the end of a long tunnel. My vision dims, the edges swallowed by darkness.
“Bella, please wake up. Please,” Noah’s voice trembles as he shakes me, his hands unsteady, fear bleeding into every word.
The door bursts open.
“Noah, what happened?” Michelle demands, already moving toward me.
“I… I don’t know,” he blurts, panic spiraling. “We were just talking and then she went completely white. Her hand was clammy and then she just… she went limp and the monitors started screaming.”
Voices overlap. Footsteps rush in. And I drift, caught between sound and nothingness.
I feel the blood pressure cuff tighten around my arm, then slowly release. Hands shake my shoulders, and suddenly – snap.
I am pulled from the darkness, from the most pungent smell.
“What is that smell?” I ask, my face twisting in disgust.
Michelle laughs in relief. “Ammonia snap. Girl, you scared me. Let’s not do that again, okay?”
She checks the monitor, her tone turning professional but calm. “Your blood pressure dropped for a moment. It’s probably from the pain meds you’re on, but we’re going to run some labs just to be sure.”
Then she glances at Noah and smirks. “You’re lucky your not-boyfriend was here,” she adds with a wink.
Noah exhales shakily beside me, gripping the bed rail like he’s afraid to let go.
I look at Noah and he’s gone completely pale, like all the blood has drained from his face. His hands are shaking, and for the first time, he looks terrified-truly terrified.
“Noah,” I whisper, reaching out to him as he sits frozen on the couch.
He shakes his head, dragging his hands through his hair, then over his face like he’s trying to hold himself together.
“Noah, please, come back to me,” I plead. “It hurts to reach out like this. Please… come here.” I tap the bed beside me and scoot over, making space.
He doesn’t come to bed. Instead, he sits in the chair, close… but not close enough.
“Give me your hand,” I say softly, still reaching.
After a moment, he lets me take it. His hand is trembling as I guide it to my chest, pressing it gently over my heart.
“Noah,” I whisper, grounding both of us, “DO you feel that? “
Noah shakes his head in agreement slightly.
“That means I’m alive, and going to be okay… we are going to be okay”.
His breath shudders, and I feel the moment he finally believes me.
I leave his trembling hand pressed against my chest, letting him feel my heart beating beneath his palm.
The thought that I put that fear in his eyes ..
that I did this to him.. makes my chest ache in a different way.
I can only imagine what it felt like for him, watching me disappear again, not knowing if I was coming back.
Noah keeps his head bowed. Something warm splashes against my hand.
I look down and realize he’s got tears sliding down his cheeks like a storm refusing to end.
“Bella, I can’t lose you,” he breaks, his voice cracking completely. “Please… don’t let this infection win.”
He swallows hard, tears spilling freely now. “I know you’re really sick. I know you are. And I can see how exhausted you are, you don’t even have to say it. You’re still trying to smile, still trying to make everyone else feel okay every time that door opens.”
His grip tightens on my hand, like I’m the only thing keeping him upright. “Please, Bella. Just let me –us– take care of you for once. You don’t have to be strong right now. You don’t have to entertain anyone.”
His voice drops to a whisper, wrecked and pleading. “I need you to be okay. I need you. Okay? Please… Isabel.”
“I promise,” I whisper, tugging gently at him until he finally climbs into the bed so I can wrap my arms around him, like fire reaching for oxygen.
The door suddenly flies open.
“Is Brad okay?” I shout, panic slamming into my chest.
Tony stands in the doorway, breathless, hands on his knees. “Oh my God, Isabel– you scared the shit out of me,” he says, trying to catch his breath. “Your mom just called me in a panic. Michelle called her and said you fainted.”
The room fills with leftover fear, like the suffocating heat of a fire long extinguished, leaving only smoke and ash behind.
“I’m okay now,” I say softly, glancing at Noah, silent tears still slipping down his face. “I’m resting more. Please tell my mom I’m okay. I love you, Tony. Now go be a dad to your own kid.” I add a wink.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he says, pointing at me. “Please… no more scares.”
“Only if Brad promises,” I shoot back, blowing him a kiss.
The door closes quietly behind him.
I drift off with Noah asleep beside me, his breathing finally steady, his arm wrapped protectively around me. For the first time in the last twenty-four hours, the fear loosens its grip.
I am calm. I am safe.
I wake to a cool kiss pressed softly to my forehead. I blink the sleep from my eyes, the room still dim, voices hushed.
“Hey, baby. Good morning,” my mom whispers.
“Hi, Mom,” I murmur, glancing around groggily for a clock. “What time is it?”
“Seven a.m.,” she says quietly. “They just did a shift change, I wanted to get here before the doctor did rounds.”
I turn my head and catch sight of Noah, already sitting up, looking like he’s about to slip away.
“How long have you been awake?” I ask softly, my voice finding him before my eyes fully do.
“Just a few minutes,” he says softly. “Your mom woke me up so I could head home. My mom’s home now, so I’m going to check in with her.”
He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to my cheek. “I’ll be back later. I promise.”
Then he slips out the door, leaving the room quieter – but not empty.
My mom hands me my phone and drapes my knitted blanket from home over me.
Nothing from Liam.
“Honey, you need rest,” she says softly, kissing my forehead. I don’t argue. I fell back asleep.
Hours later, whispers pull me from the dark.
I rub my eyes and look up.
Noah. Olivia. Oliver.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Olivia chirps.
“Hey… how long have you all been here?” I rub the sleep from my eyes.
“I’ve been here a few hours, letting your mom grab some food and run errands. Ollie and Noah just got here,” she says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “How are you feeling? You look like hell.”
I glance at Noah, remembering my promise… to be honest, and to take it easy.
“I feel like hell,” I groan. “This is worse than the worst flu I’ve ever had. I can’t move without being in pain. Have any of you heard from Liam?” I check my phone – it’s completely silent.
Everyone stares at me, blank, except Noah. His jaw is tight, his hands clenched. Anger radiates off him in waves.
“Ollie, you’re here. They’re even better in person, right?” I try to lighten the mood.
“Nothing compares to you, Bella,” Ollie says, walking over to press a gentle kiss to the top of my head. My chest tightens at the comfort in his touch.
“So… tell me you guys were planning our beach weekend? Because I need some motivation to get out of this damn bed,” I chuckle.
“I thought that was a no–go, considering that douchebag is MIA,” a voice calls from the door.
“Brad, about time you joined the party.”
“Bella, gonna give the whole floor a heart attack again tonight? I need to have popcorn ready,” Brad teases, blowing a kiss.
Everyone glares at us, because we both know this isn’t exactly a laughing matter after all the scares we’ve caused.
“Nah,” I smirk weakly. “I think it’s your turn tonight. Just don’t try to outdo me.”
No one laughs except for a quiet chuckle from Brad.
Our friends look at us in horror because Noah watched me almost die twice – Brad once – all within the last twenty-four hours.
“Do you two not understand that this isn’t a joke?” Olivia snaps, her voice sharp with fear.
Brad and I glance at each other, sharing the same tired, crooked smile.
“Olivia,” I say gently, my voice softer now. “This is how we cope. If it’s terrifying for you, imagine what it feels like for us.” I swallow. “We’re nineteen. We’re scared. Joking is how we keep breathing through it. If we don’t laugh, we spiral. Please, just let us make inappropriate jokes.”
The room goes quiet, heavy with understanding no one asked for but everyone feels. “After all, laughing is the best medicine” Brad winks at me as Olivia walks off furiously. “Liv, that’s not fair! I can’t chase you!” I shout after her.
I look at Brad begging with my eyes to go after her.
“I’ve got it, don’t worry about her. She’s just stressed” Brad reassures me as he hobbles out the door.
“Well, Isabel. I have some work I’ve got to finish. I will text you to check on you later. We will work on beach plans and keep you in the loop” Ollie kisses my forehead and leaves.
Noah and I just stare at each other. I know he’s mad-at me, at Liam, at the universe. I know he’s carrying too much right now.
“Noah –” I start.
“Isabel, that was messed up,” he cuts in, his voice already breaking.
“I couldn’t breathe when I found either of you.
I found you and Brad – gray, unconscious-both of you right on death’s doorstep.
And then you tried again last night.” His hands shake as he gestures helplessly.
“This isn’t funny. It’s not a joke. You’re sick, Bella.
Like… really sick. They had to change your antibiotics because the first ones weren’t working.
They’ve emptied your drain four times today because of how much fluid is coming out.
” He swallows hard, tears burning in his eyes.
“You could die, and I don’t think you even realize that. ”
Then his voice drops, raw and bitter. “And Liam? Your boyfriend. He’s nowhere to be found. His mom’s been here twice today but not him. No call. No text. Nothing.”
He finally looks at me fully, his voice cracking open. “I am so angry, Isabel.”
“Do you really think I want to die, Noah?” I choke out. “Do you think I want to leave you – Liv, Gabriel, Brad, Oliver, my parents–with that image burned into your heads? My body. Lifeless.”
I’m sobbing now, words tearing out of me. “I don’t want to leave you alone. I don’t want to die. I want to get married. I want a family. I want to be happy.”
My chest heaves. “Do you know what it did to me to wake up and see your face like that yesterday? I see it every time I close my eyes. It broke my heart in a way I don’t know how to explain.”
I wipe my face, voice cracking. “And Liam? I’m trapped in this bed. I can’t chase him, I can’t fix it, I can’t make him talk. He hates conflict, so he’s either avoiding me… or he’s with Jessica.”
A sob rips through me. “Either way, I’m here. Fighting. Doing everything I can to survive.”
Noah cups my face in his hands, wiping my tears with his thumbs.
“Bella, you deserve better than that,” he says quietly. “That’s why I’m so angry. We’re not even together, and I’m here every second. Oliver isn’t with you either, and he’s been here three times today.” His jaw tightens. “But your boyfriend –whatever he is–can’t even show up.”
He isn’t wrong.
I know it’s over. I don’t need a speech, just confirmation. But that can wait. Right now, I need to get better – strong enough to get out of here, strong enough to make it to the beach.