Chapter 30
I already know my roommate, Lillian – Lily to everyone who loves her. She knows the entire insane story of this summer, courtesy of my mother. She promised my family she’d watch out for me, make sure I was safe. She even swore she’d never let me walk alone at night, whether I liked it or not.
Despite everything, we decided to go out our first night, just to see what the nightlife was like.
I told myself I could leave at any moment if it felt like too much.
That I was allowed to change my mind. I unpack most of my things before Lily arrives, lining up clothes, books, fragments of my old life trying to make sense in this new space.
Then the door swings open.
“Lily! You’re finally here! How was your drive?” I squeal, throwing my arms around her in a tight hug.
“It felt like forever,” she laughs, dropping her bag, “but hey, I made it. Holy shit, Izzy, your stuff is so cute.” She gestures around the room, eyeing the neatly arranged décor my mom insisted on, straight off of a Pinterest board.
“Thanks!” I grin. “Alright, you unpack while I get ready. Tonight is the start of a new era.”
It doesn’t take long for Lily to settle in, and before I know it we’re walking through downtown, lights strung overhead, music spilling out of open doors. We people-watch, laugh, take pictures… normal things. Things that almost make me forget.
Almost.
Later, as we’re leaving a house party, the night buzzing with noise and alcohol and bodies pressed too close together, something catches my eye.
A silhouette across the street.
My stomach drops.
He’s tall. Broad shoulders. The way he leans against the wall… too familiar. My heart stutters, my body going cold before my brain can catch up.
I stop walking.
“Lily,” I say quietly, my voice suddenly tight.
She turns to me instantly. “What’s wrong?”
“I–” I swallow hard, forcing myself to look again. The figure shifts, steps into the light.
Not him.
Just some guy laughing with his friends, phone in hand, completely unaware that for half a second my entire world had collapsed in on itself.
My knees feel weak.
Lily watches my face carefully. “Hey,” she says gently, slipping her arm through mine. “You good?”
I nod, even though my heart is still racing. “Yeah. Just… my brain is playing tricks on me.”
She squeezes my arm. “That’s okay. We can go home if you want.”
I take one more steadying breath, forcing my feet to move. “No,” I say quietly. “I don’t want to let fear decide everything anymore.”
We keep walking, the music fading behind us.
But even as the night stretches on, I know something has changed.
I’m safe.
I’m not alone.
And healing, I’m learning, doesn’t mean the fear disappears.I freeze.
This time, it’s not just a shape. Not a trick of the light. Not my trauma reaching for something to be afraid of.
It’s him.
Same height.Same build.That posture I could recognize anywhere.
My chest seizes so hard I forget how to breathe.
“Izzy?” Lily says, but her voice sounds far away, like I’m underwater.
I take a step back, bumping into Lily.
“That’s him,” I whisper. “That’s-”
I can’t even say his name.