Chapter 16
Hailey
I’d been tossing and turning in the bed for at least an hour. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was running in circles, and it wasn’t getting me anywhere but sleep-deprived and upset.
I wanted to talk about what was happening with someone, but I didn’t know who. Sure, Wilder and Nolan were there, but I couldn’t trust them to be on my side.
They were Preston’s pack mates. I doubted they could be objective about all this.
With little else to do, and because I always wanted some space from all things convict alpha, including his pack, I snuck out of the apartment, out of the window like a common criminal, and hurried down to my car. I wasn’t even sure where I was going before I found myself at Merrick’s place.
God, really?
But he was a safe person to talk to. He was safe in general.
Still, I didn’t want to bust into his house unannounced, so I texted to ask if I could see him. I was hardly surprised when I got a nearly immediate response: “Of course.”
Seconds later, I walked into his place, my hands already shaking.
“What’s going on?” he asked, voice thick, eyebrows drawn together. He was wearing gym shorts and a T-shirt, and judging by his rumpled state, he had been asleep or was just about to.
“I fucked up. I fucked up really bad, Merrick,” I blurted out, feeling like I was going to topple over any second.
He took a step forward, gently placing his hands on my upper arms as he guided me to the sofa. I sat down—probably a little too hard—and stared at him in dismay.
“Explain,” he ordered, his voice firm.
“I don’t even know where to start,” I said, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes as I raked my hands through my hair.
His eyes widened at the sight of my tears. “Did someone hurt you? Just tell me—I’ll make it better.”
At those words, a sob escaped my chest. “I’m not sure you can make it better.”
“Well, we won’t know unless you explain.”
His eyes were wide, and I could tell he was getting impatient but was trying to stay calm, given my current state. He was being sweeter with me than I deserved. I’d barged into his house late at night, freaking out.
Merrick walked to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water, and placed it in my hands. His grip was firm and steady, and it grounded me.
“A few months ago, I went drinking with Alice,” I started.
Merrick nodded. “I remember that night—you got pretty drunk and were hungover for a few days after.”
“Well, I kind of accidentally…bonded with an alpha that night.”
Merrick’s eyes flared, eyebrows reaching his hairline, and a strangled sound escaped his chest. “Who?” He shook his head, glaring. “Did he hurt you? I’ll fucking kill him.”
Why was that anger so attractive?
“I don’t fully know. Right after we bonded, he admitted he was a convict firefighter from Camp Bower and ran away.”
Merrick stared at me for a moment, blinking like he was trying to process everything. Little did he know that wasn’t even the start of it.
Now that I was speaking, the words just tumbled out of my mouth.
“So I wasn’t hungover—I was dealing with separation sickness.
And I thought, you know, it’s pretty bad.
But it kept getting worse instead of better.
And I wasn’t seeing him, because he’s back in the convict camp, and there was no way I was going to admit publicly what we’d done.
Only, I kept getting sicker, and then the next thing I knew, his pack showed up at my apartment two nights ago.
They said they were there to help me—and they did, I guess.
Just having them near me made the symptoms lessen. ”
“Wait—were they there when I took you to the doctor?” Merrick cocked a brow.
“They were,” I confirmed, nodding sheepishly.
“I kind of shoved them in the bathroom so you wouldn’t see them.
I was lost and didn’t know what to do, because technically they’re my pack—even though I hate their guts right now, especially Preston’s.
That’s the convict. But being around them actually helps me feel less sick, so I was rolling with it.
But then I went to the doctor, and it got worse. So much worse.”
Merrick’s jaw was tight as he said, “How could it get worse?”
“Turns out…I’m pregnant.” As soon as I said the last word, I burst into tears.
Merrick stared at me for a moment. I was unloading a lot on him in the middle of the night, so I wasn’t surprised. I just couldn’t keep it all in anymore.
“Hailey… You’re pregnant? From this alleyway fling?”
“Yes,” I sobbed. “And the sickness isn’t going away. I can’t go to the guy at the convict camp. And these pamphlets, ugh, they said, because of the pregnancy, the sickness is just going to keep getting worse.”
“Is there a way to stop it?” Merrick asked, getting out of his seat and kneeling in front of me, resting his large hands comfortingly on my knees.
How he could bear to be near me after everything I’d just admitted was shocking.
I gave him a watery nod. “The doctor said I need to bond with an alpha. Apparently, a new bond will help the symptoms be less severe because I can spend time with the new alpha, and it’ll make me somewhat better.
Only…I don’t particularly want to bond with either of the two alphas from Preston’s pack.
I don’t even know them yet. Fuck, I don’t even know the one I accidentally bonded with. ”
“No. There’s no point bonding with someone you don’t know,” he agreed with a nod.
“Yeah, but who else is going to want me? I technically already have a pack, and I’m pregnant, to boot. I really, really fucked this up, Merrick. I don’t know what to do.”
He was quiet for a moment.
“We’ll bond,” he said finally.
That stopped my sobbing in its tracks. “What?”
“Do you need to bond with a member of that pack, or can it be any alpha?”
“Well, the doctor said it would help with any alpha. It’s just the bond that’s important,” I said in a whisper. “But, Merrick—”
“Then we’ll bond.” Merrick nodded like it was a done deal.
He said it so simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, even though I was reeling from his words.
“You can’t just offer to bond with me like that!” I stood up, pacing around his living room.
“Why not?” he asked with a shrug.
“Because I don’t want a pity bond!” I exclaimed, waving my hands in the air. “You can have a full life with someone you actually love. I don’t want you to tie yourself to me just because you feel bad about the fact that I fucked up.”
He was quiet again, and the silence dragged on, driving me insane.
Merrick’s brows furrowed as he stared at me, getting up to stand in front of me. “Do you really think it would be a pity bond?”
“Well, obviously.”
“Hailey, for someone so smart, you can be incredibly blind,” he said with a wry laugh.
“What does that mean?” I asked indignantly.
He took a step forward, towering over me, his deep blue eyes boring into mine.
“Hailey, I’ve been obsessed with you for years.
You’re amazing, and you don’t seem to understand that.
On one hand, you’re sweet and caring—the omega who makes blankets for other omegas and their babies.
But you’re also the omega who will throat punch a drunken alpha and take no bullshit.
You are annoyingly beautiful, smart, and strong.
Why wouldn’t I be obsessed with you? I’m pretty sure I’ve been a little in love with you since the first time you threatened to stab Blaze with a hypodermic needle because he was being a pain in the ass. ”
“I threatened to stab him with a scalpel,” I said quietly, knowing that wasn’t the point.
Merrick laughed, leaning forward and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Of all the things I just said, that’s what stuck out to you?”
“I…I think I’m still processing the other things you said. This week’s been…a lot. And now you… My brain’s about to implode.”
Strong hands rested on my hips, and Merrick looked at me with a warm smile, staring right into my eyes. “Hailey, you need to know—it wouldn’t be a pity bond. In fact, it would make me extremely happy. Let me protect you. Please.”
“I’ve kind of had a thing for you for a few years too,” I admitted quietly. “I almost asked you out.”
“You did a good job hiding it.”
“Ha! Well, so did you. I think this is the most I’ve heard you talk.”
“What can I say? You’re so amazing, it can be a little intimidating.”
“Me? Intimidating?” I nearly laughed. “I’m allergic to raspberries and I own bunny slippers. How is that scary?”
“Because you’re too damn good, Hails. Sometimes I think you’re too perfect to be real.” He took hold of my face, not letting me get away from this, this huge moment that’d caught me off guard in sort of the best way. “I want this. I want this with all I’ve got.”
He kissed me, and just like the time before, I melted into it, every fiber in my being calling out to him.
Well, okay, then.