Chapter Twenty
~Willa~
The intense light of early morning streaming through the wispy white curtains of her bedroom caused Willa to stir from one of the best night’s sleep of her life. She had been having a lot more of those lately since every night she spent in Beckett’s arms had her feeling more refreshed than she ever had. Last night was especially restful, probably due to the intensity of the orgasms she’d had, but Willa also knew it was something else. Sex with Beckett last night felt less like two bodies coming together and seeking pleasure and more like two souls uniting as they joined in something bigger than themselves.
Rolling her eyes at herself and the overly romantic notion, Willa stretched slightly, enjoying the burn from the evening’s exertions. It seemed silly to think of what they’d shared as making love or something equally as cliché, but that was what it had felt like. Beckett was always so attentive to her needs, but more than that it was his seeing past all of her defenses to the real her and embracing that person wholeheartedly that had her thinking the L word.
Willa had loved that he’d taken her to his family farm the night before. Not only was it nice to get a small window into the world he grew up in, but the fact that he’d wanted to share that with her and no one else caused her heart to swell. Beckett wanted her to be a part of his life while also letting Willa be herself, not trying to control or change her. He liked her just the way she was, triggers and all, and she loved that about him. She loved a lot of things about him that added up to only one thing: she was in love with Beckett. Willa waited for the inevitable fear and panic to creep up her spine and sink into her chest at the thought of being that serious with someone again, but it never came. She was safe with him. Safe to be herself, to be loved, and to love him in return.
Excited at the prospect of finally loving a good man, Willa lifted one eyelid to sneak a glance at Beckett only to find that he was already awake and staring down at her. “Good morning.” His voice was husky with sleep and if the hardness poking into her leg was any indication, a little desire too.
Willa squirmed and pressed against him, sliding her hand south in hopes that they would get another chance to express their feelings with a little morning romp. She enjoyed the light trail of fuzz that led to the Promised Land, letting the slightly springy hair tickle the tips of her fingers for a moment. Before she could move any further, his phone started to ring.
Beckett groaned, kissed her temple, and rolled to the side to snatch the device from the nightstand. “Kemp,” he grumbled into the phone. His discontent soon faded and he sat up in the bed, his arm still wrapped around Willa dragging her with him. “Yes. Yes, I can do that. See you soon, Chief.” Once he’d clicked off the call, Beckett looked at her apologetically. “Looks like I’m on shift.”
Much to Willa’s dismay, Beckett rose from the bed and started to dress, but that wasn’t the only thing causing her mood to drop. She had realized she was in love with him, and she wanted to tell him, badly, but didn’t want to do it while he was running out the door. That kind of declaration deserved more than that. Beckett deserved more than that.
A quick “I love you” as he ran off to work wasn’t good enough for the man who saw all her emotional scars and didn’t think twice about jumping into a relationship with her head first. Beckett had taken a pretty big leap of faith for her, and after that and all the dates he’d set up, all the times he helped her through one of her episodes, Willa wanted to give him something special.
Smiling at the thought of treating him like the amazing man he was, Willa started planning for her big reveal, but then she looked up to see Beckett’s head swiveling around the room, her planning stopped in lieu of chuckling at the adorable man. “What are you doing, Baby?”
Beckett beamed at the endearment and it made her heart skip with thoughts of how stunning he would look when she told him her feelings. “I can’t seem to find my pants.” Moments later, an arm poked through a crack in the door, Beckett’s jeans dangling from Lottie’s extended finger. Blushing, Beckett took his pants and put them on before opening the door all the way. “Thanks, Lottie.”
“No problem,” her friend said. Once Beckett had turned back to Willa, Lottie mouthed the words oh my god with wide eyes and gave her a thumbs up before going back to her room.
Willa couldn’t help but laugh at the woman, but it trailed off once Beckett was pulling her up from the bed. He gripped her hips as he pulled her closer to him and slashed his mouth over hers. She groaned at the first slide of his tongue, her hands moving to his back to hold him against her body as tightly as she could, wanting to merge them into one being so that he would always be with her.
When they finally broke apart, Willa could see the love in his eyes and knew that the same emotion was shining back at him. “Be safe out there, okay?”
“Always,” he vowed. After a final kiss, he stepped toward the door but turned one last time and rubbed the back of his neck. “Could I see you when I’m off? There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
Willa nodded, throwing on a robe so she could walk with him to the front door. “Of course.” She cupped his cheek and smiled up at him, trying to convey with her expression what she wouldn’t with words just yet. “I look forward to it.” With a final nod, Beckett strode out the door, leaving Willa leaning against the frame, sighing happily as she watched him go.
“Damn, girl.” Willa turned to see Lottie munching on a bagel. “You’ve got it bad.”
A dreamy sigh escaped as Willa closed the door and walked to the kitchen. “Yes, yes I do.” Now that she could admit to feeling it, saying it out loud felt so much easier than she thought it would be.
After pouring herself a bowl of her favorite fruity cereal, Willa tucked into her breakfast, thinking of all the fun ways she could reveal her feelings. Maybe she would take Beckett out to a fancy dinner, or they could go on another drive through his family’s orchard. No matter what she decided, she was content in the knowledge that not only would she express her feelings for him, but that she would mean it, and if he felt the way Willa thought he did, they had a bright future to look forward to.
“Congratulations.” Lottie smiled brightly at her. “Not only is Beckett a great guy, but the man is capital D, delicious,” she said, fanning herself with a hand. Willa speared her friend with a pointed look, stifling a smile when Lottie looked somewhat irritated. “What? He is objectively hot and I can’t be blamed for looking when he walks around with his shirt open looking like sex on legs.”
Willa chuckled at her friend. “He is really hot. He’s also amazing and wonderful and I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but I think he’s the one, Lottie.”
Lottie’s mouth dropped open a moment before she started squealing with delight and bouncing on her heels. “Oh my god, I knew you moving here was the best thing ever.” She rounded the counter and hugged Willa tightly, swaying them from side to side. “I’m so happy for you, Will.”
“Thank you,” Willa told her friend. The longer she sat with the feeling of love in her heart, the better she felt and the more excited she was to share her feelings with Beckett. “Since you know everything there is to know about this town, do you think you could help me plan something special? I want to do something nice for him because he’s been so great to me.”
Lottie looked thoughtful for a moment, her eyes drifting out the front window before she turned back to Willa with a bright smile. “I think I know just the place.” She backed toward the hallway, her vintage men’s striped pajamas billowing as she walked to the door. “Let me get a little work done on this week’s newsletter and then we can do more planning. Sound good?”
“Sounds great,” Willa replied. Hopefully, by this time tomorrow, she would start putting her plan into action and tell Beckett exactly how she felt.
****
Hours later as she and Lottie were back at the kitchen counter, trading ideas about how she could tell Beckett her feelings over a meal of chicken salad and ice-cold grapes, they were no closer to coming up with a grand love gesture than they had been when they started. Pushing her empty bowl away from her, Lottie grumbled at Willa. “Okay, since none of the places I came up with seem to fit the bill, I say just keep it simple. Tell him how you feel and be done with it. Then you two can bump uglies while I hide in my room and pretend I’m not listening or taking detailed notes.”
Willa laughed and tossed a grape at her friend. “You are such a dork,” Willa chortled. “But thank you for making me laugh.” Planning a big “I love you” declaration turned out to be a lot tougher than she thought it would be. Nothing she could come up with seemed to be fitting for the man whose endless patience had shown her that she could be herself and still be worthy of love. Groaning, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Ugh, I should have just told him this morning, but he was in a rush, exploring my room with his hair all rumpled and smiling at me with big eyes when I called him ‘Baby’ and I got distracted. He was being too adorable.”
Lottie nodded. “That does sound kind of cute. Too bad not every brother inherited that,” she mumbled.
Finally having had enough of feeling like she was in the dark, Willa slapped the hard counter and glared at her friend. “Okay, that’s it. What is going on with you and Nate?”
Lottie pulled a face, but whether it was at the mention of the man or the use of his name, Willa wasn’t sure. “Nothing is going on and nothing will ever be going on because, apparently, I am the most annoying person on the planet to him.” A phone buzzing on the counter drew Lottie’s attention and she snapped it up quickly, a coy smile on her face. “Saved by the bell,” she crowed.
“We’re not done with this conversation,” Willa replied. She wanted to get down to the real issue between her best friend and her boss, but that relationship dynamic fled her mind when she saw Lottie’s face fall into a doleful expression. “What is it?”
Lottie gulped before gazing up at Willa. “It’s the old cider mill down by the river. Mr. Johnson just texted to let me know that it’s on fire.”
Sweat broke out on Willa’s forehead at the same time her heart sank, the breath stolen from her lungs. The mention of fire had only one thought racing through her mind. “Is Beck okay?”
Lottie shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. It sounds like they’re still trying to put it out.” Willa’s heart sped up to a worrying pace as she slid from the stool and ran to get her purse. “You can’t go down there, Will. They’ve closed off the area.”
“I don’t care!” she shouted from her room. She should have told Beckett how she felt. Now he was in danger and he wouldn’t know how much she loved him. He had to know so that he would act more cautiously and come back to Willa so she could love him like he deserved and he could do the same for her. Running back into the kitchen, she spotted her friend, not realizing she had started crying until a few tears fell onto her chest. “Are you coming or not?”
Lottie nodded and grabbed her car keys from the wall hook. “I’ll drive. You just try to think positive thoughts. Beckett knows what he’s doing and that place is so old that they’ll probably just let the fire burn itself out.” They walked into the garage and hopped into the car at lightning speed. “There’s no way they’ll try to save the mill.”
As Lottie drove them from the house, Willa’s already rapidly beating heart raced faster. Maybe someone else would have let the building burn, but if she knew one thing about Beckett it was that he was not and never would be that person. No matter how lost the cause, he would try to save it, give it his all until he had nothing left to give, just like he had with her. For the first time since meeting him, Willa almost cursed his persistence and need to do some good in the world. Then again, if he didn’t possess those qualities, he wouldn’t be the man she loved in the first place. As houses passed by in a blur, Willa hoped she got her chance to tell him that.