Epilogue
KYLE
When coach told us he expected us all to show up at Winter Formal, I nearly started a riot.
He dropped that bomb on us at the last team meeting, after our devastating loss to Kensington.
And even though he can’t technically force us to, it’s better for the team if we just follow along and do what he expects.
So, I smooth my tie again for the nine thousandth time in the last three minutes as I prepare myself to go into the school. I never feel comfortable or like myself in formal wear. Really, in anything other than athletic gear or my soccer uniform.
I always feel like an impostor, like some other person or alien stole my body and squeezed it into a tailored suit and dress shirt. I wiggle my toes in my shiny square-toed shoes, wondering when the last time I wore them was. Probably Spring Formal with Shelby, my girlfriend.
Well, ex-girlfriend now. As of two weeks ago.
Shelby decided we would be better as friends. That we’ve been growing apart for a while. We were off-again/on-again for the last year, always breaking up over something dumb and getting back together the next week.
But this time is for good. No more getting back together.
I think she just wants a free semester before she goes off to college. In the fall, she’s headed to some east coast school, and we probably would have broken up in May after her graduation, anyway.
Still, I grip my steering wheel until my knuckles turn white.
She was so nonchalant about the whole thing. Like the past year didn’t mean anything to her.
I try not to think about her. We were fine together, I guess. Comfortable. But if I’m honest with myself, I probably stayed with her because I was too afraid to be alone. Not that I would ever admit that out loud to anyone.
I won’t even admit it out loud to myself.
To show school spirit and to show Coach Alesi I can follow directions, that’s why I’m here. To preserve my future on the soccer team next year.
I’ve never loved school functions, especially ones with expectations.
If it weren’t for my respect for my coach, I would be at home right now playing a video game with my friends instead. It’s finally time to face the music—literally and metaphorically.
Better just make an appearance and get it over with. Coach just said we had to show up, not that we had to stay long.
I step out into the freezing air. Whoever decided to let the Midwest have winter, I would like to personally introduce to my middle finger.
I hunker down further into my coat and pull the collar up against the biting wind that threatens to cut me open.
I speed walk as fast as humanly possible without wiping out.
The lot is still slippery, despite all the road salt.
I smile a little at that, knowing that was probably Charlotte McKinnon’s doing.
My sister’s best friend and junior class president thinks of all of those details.
Charlotte and I have never been super close as friends, but we’ve been in each other’s orbit for as long as I can remember. Being best friends with my twin sister meant she was around a lot when we were kids and continues to be.
I’m grateful she’s stuck by Anita for so long. My sister isn’t exactly the most social creature, and I got more of the charisma gene than she did. Not bragging or anything. It’s just the truth. She got more of the brains from our shared DNA, so I guess we both just have to work with our strengths.
The wind tugs tears from my eyes as I make my way up to the double doors of the school gymnasium.
The instructions were very clear that we were to enter from here instead of from the school’s main entrance.
I’m glad for this, because it is flippin’ cold out here, and the main entrance is further away.
But when I get inside, I understand why this was the directive. Constructed from the doorway and leading into the gym is a massive arch tunnel covered in fake snow and twinkle lights. It’s like walking through an igloo, if that igloo was lit by blue LEDs.
Stuff like this doesn’t usually awe me, but I have to admit, it’s impressive. And even though I’d rather be cleaning mud off my cleats than be here, I let myself have this small moment of appreciation.
Of course, it doesn’t last long.
As soon as I’m through the tunnel, my gaze locks on the one person I don’t want to see. My ex is draped across some football player whose name I’ve already forgotten, and her relaxed blond waves spill over his massive chest, which looks like he squeezed into his younger brother’s suit.
My jaw and fist both clench, and I’m about ready to turn around and bolt.
I run through some scenarios in my mind and try to decide what would be the most mature thing to do. I could go up and say hi to her, but that might make it seem like I sought her out, which would be wrong. It would just be to diffuse the tension.
Though from her smile and sparkling eyes, the tension I feel is one-sided.
I could go in and ignore her completely. That would probably be the best option at this point. I catch my teammate Lucas’s eye. He and some other guys are talking to a few girls from some team or another. They wave me over, and I start toward them.
Might as well get it over with.
They can vouch for me with Coach.
The DJ booth lights blind me for a few seconds, with its rotation of blue and green and red and purple on a loop so quick it feels like I’m trapped inside a kaleidoscope. I blink and avert my eyes to clear my vision.
I had a mild concussion in one of the games late in the season, and bright lights still bother me sometimes. But I refuse to be defeated by some lights and my ex, so I straighten myself up and keep walking.
“Rodriguez, you made it.” Lucas and I do a fist bump.
I shrug. “Coach’s orders.”
“Don’t be so glum.” His eyes slip past me and I know the second he catches sight of Shelby, because his smile turns to a grimace. “Have you met Elodie?”
I make polite conversation with Elodie the volleyball player, as well as two tennis girls, flirt a bit, turning on the charm and trying to avoid looking at Shelby and her new beefcake.
Are they officially together, or is this is just a date for formal kind of thing? Did they get together before Shelby called quits on us?
After we broke up, one of the other cheerleaders told me that Shelby told her that she and I were supposed to only be a summer thing. Chelsea was surprised when Shelby didn’t break it off sooner. I had politely excused myself from that conversation before I let my temper get the best of me.
I don’t understand people sometimes. Why would you put a time limit on a relationship before it even starts?
I’m trying to focus on the people in front of me, who are all charming and nice and gorgeous. I don’t want to be rude, but I’m feeling a bit wobbly now.
Shelby leans toward her date, and he catches her lips in a kiss.
Not a light peck, either.
It slices like a knife through my chest.
“I’ll be back,” I say to the group, not waiting for a response. The room suddenly has too little air and too much PDA.
I feel sick that I’m here alone in order to save face with my coach, and I have to endure watching that. I go back toward the way I came in, because I’ve just decided I’ve put in enough of an appearance, and my teammates will vouch for me that I was here.
My coach can’t be mad if I tell him I had to leave because of a migraine.
I get halfway through the tunnel when someone calls my name. I don’t really want to talk to her right now, especially not in my current state.
Not that I need to put up any kind of appearance with her or care what she thinks.
After another two steps, a hand lands on my shoulder. I turn around and lock eyes with the formidable blond standing there.
Charlotte McKinnon shoves her hands on her hips and stares at me for a moment, her mouth in a tight grimace.
“Nice to see you, Charlotte,” I say. My head pounds.
“Is it?” she says, and I don’t know whether she saw the thing with Shelby, or whether she’s just here to tease me.
Something about the way her body sags a little when she realizes I was headed out the door makes me cringe inside.
I falter for a second before I slip my charming mask on.
It’s not fair of me to take out my frustrations on her.
“It’s a great party. You did a really nice job with all the decorations. ”
She stares at me again, and I squirm under her gaze. “If it’s so great, then why are you leaving without at least saying hello?”
I take a brief second to appreciate her outfit. It’s not as scandalous as her Halloween costume this past year, which I am a little ashamed to admit I noticed because she’s my sister’s best friend.
“I’m sorry. I’m not feeling so great.”
She assesses me for a moment under the blue lights, and I look for the signature expression I’ve come to expect from most people: pity. But I don’t see it in her eyes.
Instead, I find understanding and also maybe a bit of confusion. “I didn’t mean to me. I meant to Anita. You know, your sister? She was kind of mad you didn’t want to ride with us, and I had to hear about it the whole way here.”
A breathy laugh escapes me. “Ah. Right.” I shrug. “When isn’t Anita mad at me for some stupid reason or another?”
She laughs, cracking the annoyed expression into a half-smile. “Good point.”
We stand there awkwardly, and I shove my hands in my pockets. “You really did create a winter wonderland.”
She gazes back toward the gym, with its lights and dancing students. “Yep. Quite the legacy I’m going to leave on this place. Some really important work I’m doing.”
The sarcasm weighs heavy on her words, more so than I expect from her.
“Well, I can tell you’re ready to leave. Just wanted to see if you’re okay.” Charlotte steps past me and I get a whiff of fresh strawberries.
“I’m…not.” I don’t know why the truth comes out now of all times, with my sister’s best friend, of all people.
She stops. Turns back around. Bites the inside of her cheek like she’s thinking. Finally, she tilts her head toward the door. “Wanna get some air?”
I consider the freezing wind I walked through to get inside. It’s either that or go back into the claustrophobic pulse of hormones. “Yeah, actually. I think that might help.”
Charlotte walks past me again, leading the way. “Follow me. I know just the spot.”
* * *
I hope you enjoyed Chloe and Rhoads’s story!