Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
Carson
I dreaded telling my family I had a baby on the way.
Every time I pictured this moment, it was with my wife after we’d been married for years.
It was supposed to be a moment of joy and pride because I was adding to my legacy.
I wouldn’t necessarily say I felt trapped because we’d used protection and I didn’t mind having Asia as the mother of my child. This was just… unexpected.
I’d already told the crew about the baby because of the state of shock I was in, and Creole could instantly tell something was off with me the last time we hung out. After I told my parents, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone else until we sent out invitations for the baby shower.
Their conversation was going in one ear and out of the other. I didn’t realize how bad I’d disassociated until I focused in on their conversation and realized they were talking about something different.
“Asia is pregnant,” I blurted.
They both stopped talking immediately and stared at me. Mama’s fork clinked against her plate. We were sitting in their dining room having dinner. Though we have family dinners every Sunday, I popped up on them today because I couldn’t wait until then to tell them the news.
“I’m about to have another grandbaby?” she asked, while Pops said…
“Congratulations, Son!”
He stood and shook my hand then pulled me in for a hug while Mama squealed, and I knew it was about to turn into a cry. Sure enough, by the time we hugged, tears were falling from her eyes. I held her close and laughed softly.
As we took our seats, Pops noticed, “You don’t seem happy, Son.”
“I’m happy,” I clarified.
“But something’s wrong,” Mama said.
“This wasn’t planned. I know that sounds silly, but I’m still a bit in shock.”
“Well, anytime you have sex, you know there’s a chance she’s going to get pregnant,” Pops said with humor lacing his tone.
“I know, and I’ve accepted it.”
“Are y’all having problems?” he asked.
“Nah. We aren’t together, but I’m devoted to her.
I just saw my family starting a different way.
Even though I’m happy about the baby, I just wish I was married to the love of my life.
Asia is cool, but I’m not in love with her, and I didn’t plan to be with her for the long run.
Now, we’re tied to each other for life. Plus, I met this woman and… ”
I stopped talking as thoughts of Venus filled my mind.
“You want to be with someone else?” Mama asked.
“Yeah, but that’s not possible. She’s engaged.
It’s fucked up. And what’s crazy is we’ve only been around each other twice.
I don’t know what it is about her, but I really like her.
” Sighing, I ran my hand down my face. “I decided to just avoid her if I see her again and dedicate myself to Asia, but I’m not really comfortable with the idea of staying with her just for the sake of the baby. ”
“Why do you feel like you have to?” Pops questioned.
“I want my baby to have the healthy and happy upbringing I did. He or she won’t see me and Asia together as a couple, but I want them to see us coparenting well.
I don’t know what she’s expecting for our future, and I’ll talk to her about it eventually.
It just feels like me having feelings for another woman at the exact moment I find out she’s pregnant with my child is fate’s way of telling me something. I just don’t know what it is yet.”
“Well, if this woman was single, I’d say she was someone you should try and be with, but since she’s engaged, that can’t be the case,” Mama said.
“I wouldn’t say all that,” Pops countered.
“She’s engaged, not married.” Ma rolled her eyes and groaned as he continued.
“Now I’m not saying cheat with the woman, but I am saying if you feel led to her, it’s for a reason.
The reason may not be romantic, but maybe there is a reason you were put in each other’s paths. ”
“I can agree with that. I wouldn’t have even met her if it wasn’t for Asia. In my attempt to do something to make Asia feel better, I ended up at Venus’s place of business. She was… beautiful, yes, but there was something about her aura that drew me in.
“I don’t want to sound cliché and say it was love at first sight or no shit like that.
But when I saw her, I felt like she was mine.
Then, me and the crew went to her party, and we talked and spent time together.
She just… fit me well. Maybe she’s meant to show me there are better options out there for me to keep me from committing to Asia just because of the baby.
“Either way, I can’t get her out of my mind, and I don’t know what to do with that.
I feel horrible craving a woman in this way with what me and Asia have going on.
Even though we aren’t together, I feel like I’m cheating, and she deserves better than that.
But I can’t tell her about Venus now that she’s pregnant.
Hell, Venus is going to get married soon.
I’d be a fool to ruin the bond Asia and I have for a woman I can’t be with. ”
“Whoa, breathe,” Pops urged with a chuckle.
“You’re about to spiral, and I need you to reel it in.
Let’s break this down piece by piece and separate the two, because regardless of how fucked up this sounds, your feelings for Venus have nothing to do with the baby.
” Mama nodded her agreement, and I bobbed my head for him to continue.
“You can be happy about the baby and wish the circumstances were different. Regardless of the mother, I know you’re going to do right by her and your child and be an amazing father.
As far as your relationship with Asia, if you don’t want to be with her, don’t.
The most important thing is that the two of you can coparent in a healthy way.
Is the timing a little rocky? Yes, but it’s best that you be upfront with her and make sure she knows you two are not going to be together in the future. Now, Venus, you said?”
“Yes,” I confirmed, unable to hide my smile at just the mention of her name.
“It’s clear you like her. If her relationship is secure, respect it. If it isn’t, keep your distance until she’s single. When she is, go after her, and take what your spirit told you belongs to you.”
Having him break it down in that manner allowed me to see all sides clearly.
I was glad I didn’t wait until the weekend to tell them about the baby, because I needed that clarity.
He was right. I needed to make sure Asia and I were on the same page about our relationship before the baby got here.
As far as Venus was concerned, I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her relationship, but the moment I found out she was single, I would have her, and nothing or no one would stand in the way of that.