Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
Carson
I made my way behind Asia’s back and looked at the ultrasound she held in her hands.
Court ran late again, so I was late for the appointment, but I insisted she keep it.
I planned to ask her to schedule later appointments to ensure I wouldn’t be late, but at the sight of my baby, no words left my lips.
As disappointed as I was that we weren’t married or even in a relationship for that matter, I did care deeply about Asia, so I was becoming more open to the idea of her being the mother of my child.
My eyes watered at the sight of my little one. Even without me knowing if it was a boy or girl yet, even without me holding him or her in my arms yet, I was already in love.
“Wow,” I muttered, reaching for the ultrasound.
I must have startled her, because she jumped and snatched the ultrasound back. Clutching her chest, she laughed and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Jesus, Carson. You scared the shit out of me.”
“Clearly,” I said through my laugh. “Thanks for waiting on me instead of Ubering home.”
“It’s okay. We said we’d have lunch before you went back to work, and even though you were late, I wanted to spend some time with you.”
“Sorry about that again. Is there a chance you can schedule your future appointments for later in the afternoon? I think that’ll keep me from missing them.”
“Of course. I was thinking about that earlier actually.”
I helped her from her seat and asked her how she felt. We made small talk as we walked outside. Once we were inside of my car, I asked her how the appointment went.
“It was good. Hearing the baby’s heartbeat and seeing them on the monitor made everything real. I know I had my doubts before taking the tests, but I’m excited now.” Her hand lowered to her stomach. “I’m excited, baby. We’re going to have a baby.”
“Yeah, we are,” I agreed with a smile, taking her hand into mine.
As I caressed her hand with my thumb I confessed, “I wish I could have been there, but I won’t miss the next appointment.
No matter what. How far along are you? Did they give you a due date?
I thought I saw July on the ultrasound, but that can’t be right, can it? ”
She cleared her throat and tightened her grip on my hand. “I’m eight weeks. My due date is August eighth, but she said babies hardly ever come on their exact due dates.”
“Hmm.” I drifted into my thoughts, because I could have sworn I saw July on the ultrasound.
Even if I did, that would have had to have been a mistake.
Serenity was due to give birth in July, and she was further along in her pregnancy than Asia.
Asia and I met in October and didn’t waste a lot of time before we started having sex, but I didn’t think it was that damn fast. August sounded more likely, so I chalked the July date up to it being a mistake.
“Either way, all that matters is that we have a healthy baby.”
“What are you hoping we have? A boy or girl?”
“Naturally I’d want a boy first. You and I won’t have any other kids, but I would want my son to take care of his siblings, especially if I have more girls.”
She looked over at me as I pulled out of the parking lot and removed her hand from mine.
“Our baby isn’t even here yet and you’re already talking about replacing them with kids you have with someone else?”
“What?” I asked with a laugh. “I’m not talking about replacing them with anyone.
I’m just saying this isn’t the way I saw myself starting my family and I don’t plan to have any more kids until I get married.
So regardless of who I’m with or how many I have, our child is going to be the elder sibling. ”
With a pout, she crossed her arms over her chest. “You don’t want to be with me anymore?”
Sighing, I considered my words carefully. I wasn’t sure if this was a hormonal period or what, but she was overexaggerating, and I wasn’t used to that from her. Still, I wanted to be as careful with my words and her feelings as possible.
“I like what we have now, but I don’t see us getting married, sweetheart.”
“So what about the baby? I mean, I thought since I was pregnant things would change.”
“How about we finish this conversation when we get to the restaurant or back home? I want to look in your eyes while we talk about this.”
Though she huffed and pouted, she agreed. Asia said she wanted me to take her to the apartment because she didn’t want to have the conversation in public, and I could respect that. I had no problem cooking something or having something delivered.
The ride to her apartment was silent, and that was cool with me.
When I opened the door to let her out, she shifted in her seat and told me there was no point in me getting out.
I knew then that she was about to be on some bullshit, but I didn’t press it.
Logically, I knew I’d probably said something she wasn’t expecting, and if she needed space to process that, I was cool with that.
Turning to face her, I clarified. “If I did or said something to make you think you having my baby would change our relationship, I apologize. Just because you’re pregnant, that doesn’t mean I planned to marry you.”
“You didn’t necessarily say something that made me think that. I guess I just assumed we’d get together for real and eventually get married. Things have been good between us.”
“Yeah, they have,” I agreed. “But the baby doesn’t change the fact that we’re just having fun for me. I have been enjoying my time with you, but we’ve always had an expiration date in my head.”
“Oh,” she muttered. “I mean… I felt like that too in the beginning. That didn’t change until I started accepting that I was pregnant.
” She sighed and hung her head. “With me getting excited about the baby, I guess I started overly romanticizing us and expecting something neither of us said we wanted.”
“Hey…” I called quietly, tilting her head by her chin.
“That’s completely normal. I’m just glad we’re talking about this so we will be on the same page.
So we’re in agreement that we never wanted to get married, right?
” She nodded. “And you admit you only started to change your mind because of the baby, correct?”
She nodded and smiled. “Don’t lawyer me now, Carson.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t help it,” I said through my laugh. “I just want us to be clear and on the same page.”
“We are,” she assured me. “I’m sorry. My emotions are all over the place.
I’m cool with us coparenting. In fact, I feel like we should stop dating and having sex.
The more we do that the hazier my feelings will get while I’m pregnant.
I think it’s best if we stop the romantic relationship and just focus on being friends and coparents. ”
“I can agree to that. I think that’s a really great idea. But regardless of the romance or not, you know that I will always be there for you—not just the baby. While you’re pregnant, and after. You will always have a special place in my heart and life for giving me my first child.”
Her body relaxed, and she leaned against the console to give me a hug.
I was glad we had this conversation and even more grateful that it was her idea for us to end our romantic dealings.
That meant my path to Venus was even clearer.
I didn’t know a lot of details about her relationship, but I was a good judge of character, and I trusted my gut, and my gut was telling me her relationship would be over soon too.