Chapter 7
Chapter seven
Consider Yourself Lucky
Beau
Ilove my job. When I was a kid, I never thought I would say that about being a mechanic, but now, I can’t imagine doing anything else.
I left Lilly Leaf Falls to go to college for computer science.
When I was almost done with my degree, I decided to take some time off due to the death of my dad and brother.
I started working at the auto shop for some extra money and fell in love with it.
I never did go back to college, but I managed to finish my degree online.
And I don’t use it at all for my job.
Maybe it’s the nerd in me, but I love figuring out what’s wrong with a car. The whole thing is like a puzzle that I have to solve. Every vehicle is different with its own set of problems, so every day is different than the last.
Today, I’ve got my head under the hood of a Ford Bronco, trying to figure out why it’s making a strange ticking sound.
I work straight through the morning, not thinking about anything but the job at hand.
I don’t think about Christie or the sex we had last night.
I don’t think about my mom giving me shit for hanging out with Christie.
I don’t think about how much I miss my dad and brother around this time of year.
All I think about is the job at hand. I don’t stop for a break until it’s time for lunch.
As I’m sitting in the break room, my boss, Jack, comes walking in with his brother-in-law, Dylan. I’ve known Dyl for years, and I consider him a good friend. They both say hi before grabbing their lunches and taking a seat.
“How are you doing?” Jack asks.
“Can’t complain.”
He smiles. “Always good to hear.” He turns his attention to Dylan. “I heard you had an eventful night.”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even get me started.”
“Everything okay?” I ask.
Jack laughs. “Yeah, Dyl, everything okay?”
Dylan glares at him. “I’m going to kick your ass. You know that?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m just happy Jo showed up at your house and not mine.”
The mere mention of her name has me choking on the drink of water I just took.
Jack looks at me. “You good?”
I nod but otherwise ignore the question. Turning to Dylan, I say, “Jo?”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Yeah, she got home last night.”
“How long is she here for?” I ask because I need a definitive answer on how long I need to be on the lookout to steer clear of her.
He wears a look on his face that tells me what he’s about to say is going to be painful. “She’s moved home. For good.”
“What? Why?” That’s all I can manage to say.
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Something happened with her boyfriend. They broke up, and she showed up with all of her shit. Leah said she could stay with us to help out with the girls.”
Jack looks at me. “You know Jo?”
Dylan answers for me. “They were friends when they were kids.”
He knows there is way more to it than that, but I’m grateful he’s not bringing it up right now. It’s not something I want to talk about in the break room at the shop.
Jack looks between the two of us and decides not to pry any further. Thank God.
Dylan says, “Look, Beau—“
But I don’t let him get any further. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. Everything’s good.”
I stand up and quickly throw all my stuff back in my lunchbox. I suddenly have lost my appetite.
Dylan asks, “Are you sure?”
“Yep. That was a long time ago. I’ve moved way past all that shit.”
I walk out to the bay to get back to work, but where as this morning, I was focused on the job at hand, now, I can’t stay focused on anything besides Jo.
The youngest of the Lawson siblings was my best friend. Ever since she kissed me in front of the school, we were inseparable.
Over the years, I fell in love with her. Head over heels, crazy in love.
But I never told her. I was too scared. When she was about to leave town on the back of some guy’s motorcycle, I asked her to stay.
She didn’t.
And I haven’t talked to her since.
Every time she comes home, it’s only for a few days, and I am always careful to avoid her. That’s going to be far more difficult with her living here.
I have no idea how I’ll feel when I finally do see her. I’m still angry and hurt, and both of those things were easier to avoid when she wasn’t around. I’m not sure I’m ready to face those feelings.
As the day goes on, I continue to think about her, and one fact rings true in my mind.
I am not the same person I was back then. No longer am I the nerdy kid who was too scared to say what he was thinking.
And I’m sure Jo’s not the same person either.
Actually, that’s probably not true. Jo Lawson was always the same—from the moment I met her to the moment she left. She was loud, crazy, and completely unapologetic about being exactly who she was. She would kick your ass if you pissed her off, but if she cared about you, she’d go to war for you.
She was incredible, and I was crazy about her.
Then, she left, and I had to deal with the loss of my best friend and the girl I loved all at once. Since then, I’ve learned to live my life without her.
I’m not sure how that will work with her back.
Finally, my workday is over, and I can go home and try to digest all of this new information in peace. I want to do nothing but play video games and eat junk food. Since I know my fridge is basically barren, I decide to stop at the store.
While driving there, I try to talk myself down off the ledge.
This whole Jo thing is not that big of a deal. A lot has happened in ten years. I’ve grown up, found a career I enjoy, bought a house, and gotten more attractive. That’s not me being boastful either. That’s a direct quote from women I’ve slept with.
Jo Lawson being back doesn’t change any of those things. My life will continue on exactly how it was. Whether that’s true or not remains to be seen, but it’s making me feel better right now, so I’m rolling with it.
I get to the grocery store with a little more pep in my step and quickly head inside to grab supplies. A couple people say hi as I pass by, and Mrs. Needleman stops me for a moment to ask me a question about her car.
See? It’s just another day for me. Nothing out of the ordinary.
As I’m picking out some cookies to eat with the pizza I already grabbed, a voice from the next aisle stops me cold.
“Yes, Mom. I’ll be at family dinner on time. I won’t be late. Where else do I have to be? Oh, I forgot about stopping to grab rolls. Okay, I might be late. Kidding! I’m here now. I’ll see you soon.”
Jo.
I’d know that voice anywhere.
Knowing I need to get the fuck out of here, I quickly head to the checkout and away from the spot she was just in. As I round the corner, I run head-on into someone else’s cart. I don’t need to see who it is.
That’s just my luck.
“Oh, shit!” She says. “I am so sorry!”
For a moment, I think I’ll get lucky and she’ll move on without even recognizing me. But when she takes a second to really look at me, the realization sets in. “Beau?”
All I say in return is, “Jo.”
“Wow! Look at you! You’ve changed so much!”
She hasn’t changed at all. Long, shiny black hair. Big brown eyes. Wide, white smile. She’s still beautiful, but I don’t let any of that distract from my loathing of her.
“How have you been?” She asks.
“Good. Really good.” I try to amp it up as much as I can.
“I just moved back to town. Maybe we could get together and catch up. You know, pick up where we left off?”
There’s a small part of me that wants to say yes because I’ve missed her so much, but I’ve been down this road, and there’s no way I’m doing it again.
“No, Jo. I think I’m good.”
Her face falls. “Are you still mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad?” I ask sarcastically. “My best friend just skips town and completely forgets about me. Or did I miss all the calls and letters? Did you think you’d come back, and it’d be all puppies and rainbows?”
“I didn’t think—“
“I know. Jo Lawson never thinks. She just acts. Look, welcome home or whatever, but I think you and I just need to stay away from each other.”
I turn to leave, and she says, “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”
“It’s more than you said when you left. Consider yourself lucky.”
I walk toward the registers, but instead of going through, I hand my cart to a worker and walk out. If I don’t get some air, I worry I’ll pass out.
I move so fast, I’m practically jogging across the parking lot.
When I’m safely inside my truck, I try to make sense of what happened. If Jo ever came back, I figured we would both do our best to stay away from each other. I guess Jo didn’t get the memo.
Why the fuck was she being so nice? I’m sure I seemed like a dick in comparison, but I have to be. I can’t get sucked into her world again.
I don’t know if I’d survive it again.
I decide that I better get out of the parking lot before Jo finishes her shopping, and we have another uncomfortable meeting.
So, I drive away—still with an empty fridge waiting for me.
That’s alright. I’m thinking I may need something a little stronger right now anyway.