Chapter 48 Awkward Encounters
Chapter forty-eight
Awkward Encounters
Jo
The next few days pass in a blur. My parents’ trip lasted a little longer than expected, so I’ve been keeping the bar running.
It amazes me because I have such a love/hate relationship with Andre’s.
When I was a little kid, I thought it was the coolest place in the world.
It was where my parents went every day, and I would always eavesdrop to listen to the wild and crazy stories they would tell.
When I got to teenage age, it suddenly wasn’t so cool anymore.
It was basically my first job. When it was closed during the day, I would do dishes or sweep up for extra money.
Let’s be honest, most people don’t like their first jobs.
Now, I’m somewhere right in the middle. I don’t necessarily love it because it’s a job, and quite frankly, I don’t like most jobs I have. But there’s also something completely different about it now. Maybe it’s because in my parents’ absence, I am in charge. Not answering to anyone else is nice.
Things are good with Beau although we aren’t getting to see each other as much as we were. Helping out at the shop meant that I was on the same schedule as him. Now, he gets up early; whereas, I am working late.
We’ve still managed to squeeze in some time together, but it’s been mostly catching up on our days and then trying to get in a quick fuck.
But tonight, all of that changes. My parents’ flight got in this morning, so I am off the hook tonight. I have absolutely no plans today except wait for Beau to get off. And then…I will do him.
Over and over again.
I decide that I’m going to attempt to make dinner again, but instead of trying to do something far outside of my comfort zone, I’m going to get a frozen lasagna that I can just throw in the oven. And then, boom, we will have dinner and can move on to the no-pants portion of the evening.
As I walk to the market, I have my head down in an attempt to avoid the air that is beginning to turn downright frigid.
This year, I’m going to have to invest in another good winter coat.
I have no idea what happened to my old one, and living in California and Arizona, I didn’t need one.
I don’t think I’m going to be able to get away with wearing nothing but my hoodie for much longer.
As I round the corner, I run into someone.
“Oh, shit!” I cry. “Are you okay?”
I look up to see a female in front of me, dusting herself off.
Don’t be dramatic. I didn’t knock you over.
“Yeah, no harm, no foul,” she replies with a smile. “Jo? Jo Lawson?”
“Uh, yeah.” I stare at her face, trying to place her. My questionable decisions the past few years have made my memory far less reliable than it used to be.
When I’m still drawing a blank, she says, “Cindy Bates.”
“Holy shit! Yes! Cindy!” I say while she leans in for a hug.
Cindy Bates and I lived two houses down from each other until we finished elementary school. She and I were inseparable until her family moved to a neighboring town.
“What are you doing here? I thought you guys all put down roots over in Shelburn.”
“We did. My house is still over there, but I am thinking about opening up a shop here in Lilly Leaf Falls.”
“Shop? What kind of shop?” I ask.
“Cookies. I own a whole slew of stores across the Pacific Northwest.”
“No shit?” I ask. “That’s great.”
She takes out a business card out of a purse that I’m sure cost more than my car and hands it to me. Well, I’ll be damned. Cindy Bates has business cards. I remember when she used to get in trouble in school for pulling her dress over her head and showing all the boys her underpants.
“I’ve always loved this town,” she says. “I think a cookie shop would work wonderfully here, and now that I’m back, I really miss this place. Maybe my husband and I will get a second house in town.”
“Oh, you’re married?” I don’t know why I’m questioning that. She’s fucking stunning.
“I am!” She holds out her hand to give me a peek at the enormous ring on her finger. “He plays for the Seattle Seahawks.”
“Wow,” I stammer. “A football player. Good for you.”
“Yeah, it’s a little hard with the kids since we both travel so much, but we make it work.”
“Kids? As in plural?”
She nods. “We have four.”
If I had a drink of something in my mouth right now, it would have shot out through my nose when she told me that. Four kids? Good lord.
With a smile, she says, “What about you? What’s going on in your life? I remember last time I heard your name, someone was telling me you were off traveling the world.”
“Something like that.” My lips try to form into a small grin, but I’m sure it’s coming off more like I’m in pain. “I traveled for a while, but I just couldn’t find anything that made me want to stay in one place for too long, so I decided to come home.”
“That’s great! Did you find that something here? Are you married?”
Oh, she’s just full of the questions.
“No, not married. Just dating, but I have a really great boyfriend. He just asked me to move in with him.” As I say the words, I’m wondering if they sound as pathetic as they do in my head.
“Do you have any kids?”
“Nope. No kids.”
“What are you doing for work?”
More questions.
“Uh, I’m kind of between things right now. I was working at the auto shop for my brother-in-law for a bit, and then, I was helping my parents out at Andre’s. But neither one of those things are really panning out, so I’m going to try to find something else.”
I hate that I’m being so honest with her, but in a small town, I know I couldn’t get away with lying—-especially if she’s going to open up a shop here. it would be pretty obvious if I lied and I actually wasn’t engaged to the prince of Spain or something.
“Oh, well, good for you!” She says, trying to sound as chipper as possible. “It must be nice to be able to do whatever you want. I kind of miss that stage in my life.”
Sure, you do.
She pulls out a pen and writes her email and personal cell phone number on the back of another business card. As she hands it to me, she says, “How about when I get the shop going, you can come work it? I’m always looking for a new cookie baker.”
I can’t help but laugh. “If you want me baking cookies, I hope you have really good insurance.”
She winks. “I do. And if you don’t want to bake, I’m sure I can find something for you to do. I think that you would make a fantastic choice to work behind the counter.”
She is so full of shit.
Through gritted teeth, I say, “Thanks, Cindy.”
“Of course! Well, I have to get going. I have to meet with a realtor in a few. It was great seeing you!”
She gives me a hug that seems more sympathetic than the first. When she’s gone, I start walking again, and all of the metaphorical walls inside my head start caving in around me.
Who the hell does she think she is? I don’t need her charity. I don’t need anything from her.
But should I really be getting offended? It’s not like I have anything real to show for myself or my life.
I have no job. No husband. No kids. Hell, I don’t even have an actual home to call my own. I live with my brother and his family.
I get that everyone’s stories are different, but I never thought mine would look like this. It’s like I’m stuck in some teenage nightmare that I can’t get out of.
No, I take that back.
As a teenager, I still had hope that my life was going somewhere incredible. I thought I would do all of these amazing, exotic things. I didn’t do shit except date a string of losers and work crappy jobs to make ends meet.
I have nothing to show for my life aside from some tattoos, piercings, and a crappy credit score. I’m so sad that a girl I was friends with as a kid is literally offering me a job even though she hasn’t seen a resume—or seen me in twenty years for that matter.
I must give off pathetic vibes.
As I can see it, I have two good things in my life at the moment. One, my family. Through it all, the Lawsons stick together. I’ll love them all until the bitter end. That’s a given.
And two, Beau. He’s this bright spot in the midst of all the darkness. Hell, he got me to let down my guard enough to tell him I loved him—and actually mean it.
I’m sure he’s way more than I deserve, but I’m just happy I get to call him mine.
The more I walk, though, the more I wonder how long I’ll be enough for him if I’m doing absolutely nothing with my life.
Beau seems to have it all figured out. He has a good job and a house and is able to keep a dog alive all by himself.
While the last one may not seem like as big of a deal, it really is because most days, I can barely keep myself alive.
How long is he going to be happy with someone who doesn’t have shit figured out? When will he figure out that maybe someone like Cindy would be better for him?
I shake my head, trying to toss those negative thoughts right on out, but it’s not that easy.
Ugh, right now, I don’t want to think about any of this. I just want to go back to enjoying my free day and make lasagna for my man before sitting on his dick.
But at this point, I don’t know if my mind will let me do that. It’s gone into overdrive, trying to get the bad thoughts out and get back on the upward swing.
Instead of going to the store, I head the other direction. There’s only one person who can help to get me out of my own head now.