Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
KASS
Last night, after Blake and I made love, we fucked. Thrice. One time involved her tying me to the chair I had previously tied her to and riding me until I was seeing stars. Goddamn, I love this woman.
Even now, as I lie next to her in my bed, watching her sleep, I can't get enough of her.
After our adventures in the basement, we agreed to sleep upstairs in my bed.
We were too tired to talk about the details, but she agreed to give this an honest shot.
There's still a lot to be worked out, but at least I know now that she wants this—whatever this is.
Blake stirs in her sleep, and I can't help but lean down and kiss her soft cheek.
It reminds me that just a few hours ago, they were covered in tears, something I never thought I'd see again.
I haven't asked her, but I'm sure if I did, she'd tell me that she rarely lets people see her cry.I've been lucky—or unlucky?
—enough to see it twice. I find great promise in knowing that Blake views me as a safe space, one comforting enough for her to let her guard down, if only a little.
"I can feel you staring at me."
"Do you have a problem with me staring at you?"
One eye pops open a hair to assess me. "Depends. Are you judging or doting?"
The gentle way I press my lips onto her cheek should answer that question for her, but just in case, "Definitely doting."
“Then stare away.”
“Are you gonna sleep for a bit longer? I think I hear Clover puttering around, so I should probably go make her breakfast.”
“Oh shit.” She rubs the sleep out of her eyes. “How do you want me to sneak out then?”
“You sure I can’t convince you to stay?”
“I’m sure.”
Though I tried convincing her to stay for Clover’s birthday party today, she didn’t want to complicate things just yet by adding Clover into the mix. As much as I hated her resistance, I love that she thinks of Clover enough to take things slow.
“I’ll go distract her and text you when it’s safe.”
“Safe? Am I at risk of being maimed if I come out too soon?”
The ridiculousness of her statement isn’t lost on either of us as we chuckle. “No risk of being maimed by a nine-year-old, but you would be putting yourself at risk of being asked some pretty tough questions.”
“Ooo, yeah, no thanks. I’ll be sneaky.”
“You know if you come around more often, like you promised me last night, you’re going to have to get used to her questions.”
“I think you forgot that I spent several hours with that child for 8 weeks. I’ve been asked a million questions, most of which did not pertain to art.
” She leans forward to nibble on my arm, which is holding up most of my weight.
“She’s a cool kid. I can handle her. I just don’t want to bombard her with new information after all the chaos last night. ”
“Alright. Just making sure you didn’t change your mind in the last…” I lean over and tap my phone to see what time it is, “four hours.”
She rolls on her back and gazes up at me. The sheet barely covers her naked chest, and I have to fight the urge to rip it away and claim her again.
“Nope. Plus, I told you, I have brunch plans with a friend.”
“Not a lame excuse again…”
I wiggle my fingers into her side, and she scrunches up into a ball, laughing. “I’m serious this time!”
“Okay, fine. Will you text me when you get home safe?”
“Sure?”
“Don’t act like that’s a ridiculous request.”
Once she understands my true meaning, her mocking expression softens. “I’ll let you know when I’ve made it home safe.”
Having her leave is harder than I thought, especially since I don’t know exactly when I’ll see her next. Though I could never forget the feeling of her lips on mine, I plant them there one more time for safe measure.
B
“There you are! Are you ever on time?”
“Quinn, how long have we been friends now?”
“A year and a half?”
“And have I ever surprised you by being on time?”
“You have not.”
“Then why set yourself up for disappointment by expecting anything else?”
Quinn rolls his eyes and holds out his arm for me. “Let’s get in there before they give our table to someone else.”
I hook my arm in his as we stroll through the doors of the drag bar.
Sunday drag brunch has been our thing ever since his brother, Sam, introduced the two of us.
It's something that we both did with friends prior to knowing each other, but we’ve found that going as just the two of us is our favorite.
We spend most of the time spilling all the tea and hot gossip from the week and support each other in our slutty endeavors, free of judgment.
Once we’re seated at our usual table, we order drinks. The atmosphere here is unparalleled. The excitement, the energy, the all-around great vibes. I can’t get enough of it. I look around to see if I can spot any of the other regulars who have slowly become our friends.
“So, what’s new?”
I give my attention back to Quinn, who’s browsing the menu, as if he’s not going to order the glitter French toast like he always does. “Nothing really.”
A knowing smile spreads across his face. “That’s not what I heard.” His voice is sing-songy, taunting me.
“Oh yeah? And what is it you think you heard?”
Glancing up at me from his menu, Quinn shrugs his shoulders, pretending to be indifferent. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I’m not playing games with you, Quinn.” And I sure as hell am not about to volunteer information about the last 24 hours if that’s not what he’s referring to.
“I heard you dipped out of the bar last night to play superwoman.”
“Who told you that?”
“Well, let me see here…I heard it from Lou, who heard it from Evie, who heard it from Liam, who I think heard it from Bear, who I’m pretty sure was involved in the drama. By the way, your sister wants you to call her.”
So much for keeping all this to myself.
“Fine. I had an eventful night.”
“I’m afraid I’m going to need more detail than that to fuel my soul for the rest of the week.”
“Fine! I fucked Kass.”
The words come out of my mouth just as our waitress sets our drinks on the table.
“Who’s Kass, and can I join next time?” Rory, our server, interjects.
I make a face at Rory that tells them to mind their own damn business. Rory and I have hooked up before, and they haven’t let it go since.
“We’ll have our usuals.” I shove the menu into Rory’s chest, hoping they get the hint. But just in case they don't, I say, "Now quit eavesdropping and scram," with a wink.
As soon as they’re out of earshot, Quinn gets my attention by slamming his hand on the table. “Spill! And spare no details.
I reluctantly fill him in on the events of last night, starting with the phone call from Clover and ending with me sneaking out of Kass’s house wearing his shirt this morning.
“Damn, B, you are in deep ship.”
“You mean shit?”
“No, I mean ship—as in relation-ship.”
I fake gag. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that word.”
“You do know that the word relationship can mean a lot of different things, right? Like it doesn’t have to be two people in love and only being with each other.”
“I live in the heart of Minneapolis in the 21st century, Quinn, I know that.”
“But do you really?”
“Now you’re just being condescending.”
“I’m serious. I think you’ve gotten so hyper-fixated on the idea of not wanting to be in a “relationship” because you feel like it’ll prevent you from doing the things you want to do.”
“Because that’s typically how it goes.”
“Yeah, but from what you’ve told me, Kass seems different. I mean, what about that day you, he, and Fia spent together at his house? You made it sound like the most blissful and freeing day.”
It really was.
“If you just talk to him, you could have that every day. Or at least different versions of that. I get he has a kid and all that, but he seems to be enjoying his life despite having a kid to care for.”
“Why are you harping on me? I told you I was giving things a shot with him.”
“Then why aren’t you going to the kid's birthday party?”
“It’s too early. Daisy's parents and his friends are going to be there. That sounds terrifying.”
“Since when the hell are you scared of people?”
“I’m not. It’s just…”
Why am I afraid? Quinn's right, I’ve never been afraid of meeting new people or using my stellar social skills to navigate through uncomfortable situations. So why am I suddenly paralyzed with fear?
“I actually don’t know why I’m scared.”
“Don’t you…?”
His question floats between us as we stare at each other. Quinn lifts his eyebrows ever so slightly, and it hits me.
It’s because I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel about Kass. Am I afraid to mess things up? Do I like him so much that the thought of his friends and family not liking me is making me anxious?
Shit.