Chapter 12
Twelve
Elaine
It turned out to be one freakishly expensive orgasm for the lords. But they didn’t seem to mind paying the crazy high price.
Lord Arnaf and his friends had to collect every gold coin that they had in their tents.
And when that still wasn’t enough, they tossed their precious hair clips and rings into the bag with our payment.
And yet, Lord Arnaf already tried to book another appointment with Timur, demanding “the same kind of experience.”
Timur wouldn’t commit to another appointment without my approval, however. And I was too flustered at that point to agree with selling my orgasms on a regular basis.
“We’ll see. I’ll let you know,” I replied evasively.
I didn’t regret what happened. But I had been too caught in the moment, too focused on Timur’s touch and my feelings for him, I still wasn’t in the right state of mind to make any business decisions.
My body still felt warm and languid when we left Lord Arnuf’s tent, my belly was full, and I was ready for a nap. I wished I could climb onto Timur’s lap, hug him close, and let him carry me all the way home. But I’d refused the ride on the way here, and now it felt awkward to ask.
I glanced at Timur while walking alongside his chair. Did he feel awkward too? Now that he’d witnessed me in my most intimate moment.
He’d pulled his cloak over his shoulders again, though his hood was still off. With his right hand holding the pretty heavy bag of gold on his lap, he put his left one on the armchair, while staring straight ahead.
“I’m sorry I declined your offer to sit on your lap earlier tonight,” I started, secretly hoping he’d invite me again.
But he didn’t. He just nodded briefly, acknowledging my apology.
“It’s for the best,” he said in a strangled voice that betrayed the tension gripping his body.
“You really think so?” I blinked.
He drew in a heavy breath, finally turning his face to me.
“Elaine, with your ass on my lap, so close to my cock, I could no longer guarantee your safety.”
With a gasp, my reply stuck in my throat. I swallowed, slowly breathing through my shock. I’d never heard Timur speak like this before, so frank, crass, and…hot.
“Your cock?” was all I could manage after a few stunned moments. “You have one?”
That was unexpected to say the least. Born without any visible sexual organs, shadow fae developed them only when they had a partner. And even then their sex was akin to a battle scene, from what I’d heard.
Worry prompted me to ask, “Are you…are you in mating fever?”
That’d be a real concern. I tried to remember everything I knew about the shadow fae’s mating fever.
Unhinged, feral lust.
No ability to think or rationalize.
Painful, burning need…
None of it sounded safe or reassuring. I took a step to the side, widening the distance between us, just in case.
Then I remembered that Timur had been free to do anything he wanted to me all the time we’d lived together, but all he’d done so far was taking care of me and, lately, giving me the best orgasm of my life.
“Isn’t mating fever what happens when a shadow fae grows a cock?” I winced before correcting myself, “Or cocks? I’ve heard you have a whole cluster of them.”
He smirked, not meeting my eyes. “You forgot, my sweet, that there is very little left of a fae in me.”
I bit my lip.
There was once a time when I didn’t want to know anything about him. I’d had no desire to be close with the creature who’d bought me at the auction like a piece of property to be used and exploited. Back when we’d just met, I didn’t want to understand what pained him. I didn’t want to care.
But things had changed since. Timur’s life was tied with mine now, whether as business partners or…something else that might be growing between us. I couldn’t define it yet. But I did care. And I wanted to know everything.
“Tell me what’s going on. Please.”
“You don’t need to worry about it. I won’t let any harm come to you. The moment you’re no longer safe with me…” his voice broke off and his features pinched into a frown. “I won’t let it happen,” he finished resolutely.
I didn't find that reassuring at all.
“Timur, what exactly is the dragon poison doing to you?”
He heaved a breath. “Why do you want to know?”
“We live together. We…um, work together.” I gestured back at the lights of the tents that had pierced through the night behind us.
Now was not the time to think about the nature of our “work” and how fantastic his fingers had felt between my legs. But the memories of that had warmed my cheeks anyway, my body responding with a flush of desire.
“I want to know you better,” I said sincerely. “I have questions.”
“The answers won’t make for a fun story, Elaine,” he replied grimly.
“I gathered that much. But I still want to know it, all of it, good and bad.”
He stared straight ahead without uttering a word, long enough for me to wonder if he’d speak to me at all anytime soon. Had I overstepped the boundaries? Or maybe he just didn’t know how to talk about his past? Had he ever opened up about it to anyone before?
“What are your questions?” He finally said.
“How did it happen?”
“I already told you. A virutu dragon bit me.”
“Yes. But you said his poison is still inside you. It’s still doing something to you. And if it’s not turning you into a dragon… What is it doing to you then?”
“I don’t exactly know,” he said with a sigh so heavy, it could crush me. “All I know is that scales appear over my skin, one scale at a time. The scales then turn into bone, eating away my skin and muscles. At some point, I grew a cock, then a tail. And no one knows what will happen to me next…”
The words died on his lips. Metal whined under his claws as he gripped the armrests harder, working his jaw.
I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, searching for something to say when no words seemed strong enough to lift a decade-long suffering he’d endured.
“I’m sorry, Timur. I…I can only imagine what it’s like.”
He shook his head vehemently. “No. Don’t imagine it, Elaine. It’s best not to.”
We walked in silence for a little while. The edge of the cliff showed up in the distance with the shimmer of the desert sand ending, swallowed by the dark ocean below.
“No one knows what will happen to me next…” His words echoed in my head on repeat.
The bone was eating away at his skin and muscle, slowly taking away his mobility. How would it end? With only his motionless skeleton left?
A shudder of dread rocked through me.
He didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t his time to die. It was hard to identify a fae’s age, but Timur wasn’t that old, was he?
“How old are you?” I blurted my next question.
He tilted his head, possibly confused by my question, but replied anyway, “I’m a hundred-and-thirty years old. But what difference does it make?” He scoffed softly. “A more important question is how long do I still have?”
Horror rushed down my back like an ice shower. Timur hadn’t been in my life for long. But here in Ashgate, he was the only one I had. If I lost him, I…I didn’t even want to think what would happen then.
“Maybe you’ll just change into a dragon completely?” I asked, clinging to every shred of hope, because I realized I’d rather have him in any shape at all than lose him completely.
Timur’s shoulders rose with a long, deep breath.
“That’d be the same as dying,” he exhaled.
“Why?” I cried out in anguish.
“A virutu dragon is an animal, Elaine, guided only by instincts, with no intelligence or self-awareness. If my body is changed and my mind is gone, what will there be left of who I am?”
“Nothing,” I breathed out through the tears squeezing my throat.
“Nothing.”
“But there has to be something we can do,” I argued. “There is magic in this world. Hags, mages. We have gold now, and we’ll make more—”
He took my hand from his shoulder, gently wrapping the bare bones of his fingers around it.
“The gold is for you, my sweet. When I’m gone—”
“Stop it! Don’t say it.”
As if I could stop the inevitable by simply not talking about it. I stepped in front of him, but it wasn’t close enough. Shoving the bag of gold off his lap, I climbed onto his chair and straddled his thighs.
“I’m not giving up, Timur. There must be something we could do to stop this.”
He ran his hands up my back, the touch of his fingers and his claws light as a feather.
“I’ve tried it all, Elaine,” he said. “There was a time when I had money. I had powerful friends. For years, I searched for a cure, or a curse, or anything that would stop or reverse this, to make me ‘me’ again.”
I drew in a shuddered breath, dreading what he’d say next.
He lifted a loose strand of my hair on one of his claws and gently moved it behind my ear.
“The search with all its disappointments was almost as devastating as the poison eating through my body. Hope can be a wonderful thing, Elaine. But it can also destroy us. I’m not doing it again.
I’m done searching. There is no use. Nothing can be done.
The poison should’ve killed me ten years ago.
Instead, it gave me some time to make amends with people and to make peace with death.
That’s how I choose to look at it now. It gave me time to find you.
All I want now is to have enough time to make sure your future is secure. ”
“But…I-I can’t lose you,” I whimpered, burying my face in the side of his neck.
It hadn’t even registered with me that it was his right side until the hard bumps of the bone on his shoulder pressed into my cheek. I didn’t move away despite that.
Sorrow burrowed into my chest like an ever-tightening screw.
At first, I selfishly mourned my impending loss.
With Timur gone, I’d be alone. In the short time we’d been together, he’d become such a big part of my life, I didn’t know how I could go on without him.
He was responsible for every aspect of our survival, and I had no idea where I would even begin to do it all myself.