Chapter Five #3
Yui took a seat on the couch next to my babygirl. “Can I ask you a couple of questions?”
“Sure.”
Yukiko’s mother nodded. “Have you been experiencing any tightness in your chest? Nausea? A feeling like you’re watching your body from the outside, perhaps?”
Samantha managed a chuckle. “Today? All of the above. But right now, no. I’m okay.”
“Have you eaten anything since this morning?”
A pause. “…No. Just the water Lakshmi gave me.”
Yui looked like that was the answer she’d expected. “Caroline, can you go into the kitchen? There are some cookies in the cupboard. I’d like you to bring me a few, along with a small glass of milk.”
“Can do,” Caroline said. “Be right back.”
She rose with that fluid, willowy grace and made her way into the kitchen. Beside me, I could tell that Yukiko had been planning to ask her mother to check in on Samantha like this and was relieved she hadn’t had to ask.
“You’ll eat that and then you’ll feel better,” Yui said, smiling maternally. “There are two things I’d like to say to you, Samantha. One as a doctor, and one as a mother. Is that alright?”
Samantha’s bottom lip trembled. “Uh huh.”
Yui took the same hand Caroline had been holding. “What I told you at the wedding was true,” she said, her voice low and clinically soothing. “The day you and Marcella joined my Yuka-chan to marry Jack, I gained two daughters.”
“Oh fuck,” Samantha whimpered, crying very different tears.
“That is a very special bond,” she told Samantha.
“You are safe with me, Miss Avery. You are not a burden to this family, and you never will be.” She smiled.
“Should you require a little help in the future, there are many hands that would feel lucky to give it to you. Myself included.” Yui’s voice didn’t waver.
“This is not a hopeful thing I’m saying just to make you feel better.
There are nine adults in this household who love you. So far. And that is a great many.”
“I love you,” Samantha whispered.
“And as a doctor,” Yui said, “I want you to hear this part clearly. What happened to you today is an injury all its own, regardless of your test results. It is a specific kind of injury, and it is one I have treated many times in my career. It responds to treatment.”
Samantha blinked.
“Not the disease, of course,” Yui said. “If that is present, I can’t touch it. But what a diagnosis like this—even the potential of it—does to the mind that receives it? That, I know how to work with.” She paused. “I would like to help you with it.”
“You help Jack,” Samantha whispered. “With his panic attacks.”
Yui nodded. “We wouldn’t start tonight. Tonight you should be held by people who love you and then sleep. But this week.” She paused. “I will refer you elsewhere if you’d rather. Some people don’t like being treated by family. You can tell me, and I promise it will not offend me in the slightest.”
Samantha shook her head. Hard.
“No,” she said. “I want you.”
“Then you have me.”
“I can…” Samantha trailed off with a huge sniff.
“I can have you as both, right? Because I don’t—” her voice hitched, her hand gripping Yui’s, “—because I just found out my actual mom is dying and I don’t even know how I feel about that and yeah I need a therapist but right now I am just so scared and I need a Mom… ”
Yui pulled her in close, holding her tight.
“Oh, my girl,” she said. “Yes. Of course. Both.”
I put my arm around Yukiko, who’d just started to cry.
When I glanced from her back to the couch, Samantha had her face buried in Yui’s shoulder and Yui was rocking her side-to-side ever so slightly. I felt certain Yui hadn’t even done it consciously: right now, she was operating on instincts that were primal.
Just then, Caroline emerged from the kitchen. “Got the cookies,” she said, setting them on the coffee table along with the milk and dropping right back to the floor at Samantha’s feet. “You look better.”
“Y’know,” Samantha slurred. “No offense to my mother—”
“You may offend your mother freely,” Yui whispered. “I have no loyalty there.”
Samantha melted against her. “You’re so much better at this,” she said in a rush.
A small smile from Yui. “I’m aware.”
“Fuck. That’s awful to say, isn’t it?”
Yui was already shaking her head. “I’ll never repeat it. Doctor-patient confidentiality.”
Somehow, Samantha managed to laugh.
Twenty minutes later, my babygirl had calmed down considerably. She managed to eat about half the cookies, drained the milk, and let Lakshmi refill her water twice. She sat on the couch between the cheerleaders with Eva’s head in her lap, staring off into the distance and just kind of… processing.
It was around the third time I came to check on her that she took my wrist. “Daddy, I’m freaking exhausted,” she whispered, running her nails along the cheerleader’s scalp.
“You’ve had a busy day,” I said.
“I know it’s still early, but can I just… can I go lay down?”
Jesus. Did she even have to ask?
“Of course you can, babygirl,” I said.
Her fingers squeezed me just a touch harder than before. “Will you come with me?”
I smiled. “I’m right behind you,” I said.
I helped her off the couch and to the stairs. Yukiko caught my eye as I passed the kitchen and nodded, then returned her attention back to her planning with Mona. Heather and Eva climbed into each other’s laps and passed out on the couch. Lakshmi and Yui were drinking tea.
The last thing I saw as my babygirl and I disappeared upstairs was Caroline, standing by the window with a cup of coffee, staring out onto the quiet suburban street as the sun dipped below the horizon.
She’s watching the road, I thought. I wonder why.
Then Samantha’s hand slipped into mine and the only thing I was thinking about was bed.