Chapter 2
Cole
Frustration with everything is the only way I can describe how I’m feeling.
Timothy warned me that branching out on my own isn’t easy but I was up for the challenge.
I needed to find my own peace of mind and not have my entire identity be wrapped up in being a Heywood.
My departure isn’t as devastating as Timothy’s for two reasons.
One, he was the first to do it so our dad isn’t as frazzled by it any longer.
Two, we all have an understanding that we are all there for the Heywood Empire.
My problem is deciding to launch two ventures at once. I could blame my ADHD but maybe just maybe it’s my ambition. Both projects are special to me yet I couldn’t decide which was more important to start. Luckily, both of my businesses are something that I can use to promote the other.
Just like anyone who has battled anxiety, the thoughts and overthinking start to distract me and the need to move outweighs everything.
I’m up on my feet and moving around the desk in my penthouse.
As I’m still getting stuff going, I don’t feel the need to get a traditional office yet since I’m one person with multiple rooms. It does, however, require my assistant to spend an obscene amount of time at my house.
“Cole,” Kacy starts as she holds her stylus in her dainty hand to the corner of her mouth as she prepares to unload all of her thoughts on me.
“Kacy,” I warn, as I walk around her just as she uses that same stylus to push her glasses back up her nose.
It used to be the cutest thing to me five years ago when I considered her a romantic interest. We collided fast and fizzled out just as quickly, yet when I decided to launch this venture, I couldn’t think of anyone else to have by my side.
Her interest in business and psychology makes her the perfect person to spend countless hours with me. We may not see each other romantically anymore but I still adore her. I often joke around and call her my emotional support human.
“So here’s a list of…” she begins, not yet in tune with my current state.
“Kacy, Kacy.” I say twice as I head to the door.
I didn’t notice it was a habit until she pointed it out some time ago. When I'm anxious, I say her name twice as a warning to leave me alone with whatever puzzle she’s trying to solve.
Her chocolate curls bounce as she snaps her head up and she blinks her big blue eyes a few times to focus on the world outside of her table. Switching gears she kicks off her pumps and steps into her tennis shoes.
“Okay, Cole.” She places the tablet on the table and follows me out of the door. "We're walking.” We’re silent on the elevator until it deposits us on the level with the indoor walking trail. Taking off, I start walking at a faster pace but not too fast to leave her behind. “Talk me through it.”
“I’m starting to think I’m crazy for starting two things at once.”
“Okay, and what is causing the thoughts?”
“It’s been 8 months since I opted not to go with the rapper and although his career is blowing up, I don’t feel regret but wondering if I should. Then I start to wonder if other decisions I’ve made may be questionable.”
“Do you want to ask him?”
I shake my head as we finish our first lap. “Hell no. I don’t like how he deals with personal business.”
The woman I still don’t know flashes in my head, I get a warm feeling that I can’t decipher.
More frustration filters into my current state because I still don’t know who she is or how to find her.
By the time I remembered to check Adán’s social media, there wasn’t any sign of her. I should have asked for her name.
I’d taken it for granted thinking everyone is easy to find.
“Who do you want to be your spokesperson?” I blink a few times as I realize I’d forgotten about Kacy for a moment.
I want her.
“Um…” I respond, trying to get on task. “I have to look at possible candidates again. I want someone health conscious.”
“Okay so I’ll get you a list of health influencers. What is your worst case scenario?”
“What if both ventures are a big flop? Then I’m broke. What if I am the youngest and the least successful?”
“And how would your family feel about it?”
I slow my steps as I consider her question. “Well, if I had to run back to the corporation, Dad would accept me.”
“So your worst case scenario is quite as scary, is it?”
I stop and turn to look at her. “I don’t want to be a failure.”
Kacy, rubs my bicep with a comforting smile. “An unsuccessful venture doesn’t mean you’re a failure.”
I take a deep breath because I know what’s coming next. The entire reason behind my breakdown in college.
“Repeat after me. I’m not Timothy and Timothy is not me.”
“I’m not TImothy and Timothy isn’t me.”
She nods and moves to the next part. “I’m not Ambrose and Ambrose is not me.”
I pinch my nose as my breathing slows. “I’m not Ambrose and Ambrose is not me.”
Kacy smiles. “Very good. Their paths aren’t yours and yours aren’t theirs. You each are entitled to your own successes. You don’t have to be like them and no one is expecting you to be.”
I pull her into my grateful hug as my emotions level out. She is always good for talking me out of an occasional freak out.
“I’ve been looking at the renovation pictures and the resort looks beautiful,” Kacy says, switching back into business mode.
“Good, I’m glad some of our decisions are coming into fruition.”
I purchased a failing hotel just outside of Dallas, Texas.
The thought of the 200 acres of nature is calming.
My dream was to turn it into a wellness retreat where overstimulated people can escape and unplug from everything.
One really helped me at the pinnacle of my stress and I want to provide a safe space for others.
We’ll provide different levels of participation.
People can do anything from checking in and opting to not be disturbed all the way to a full mental health and wellness program.
In college, I’d put so much stress on myself to try to be the next perfect son, career oriented and ambitious like Ambrose, but my reach for my idea of perfection drove me up the wall.
When earning a B on an assignment sent me into an anxiety attack, I knew I’d gone too far.
I took off a semester just to recalibrate.
Now, I make sure to check in with myself mentally and refrain from over reaching.
I’ve maintained a good work life balance in the seven years post college but there can’t be passion projects without stress especially since I’m my biggest investor.
“I know the chef you wanted didn’t come on board as planned but I have some very promising leads,” Kacy boasts as we head back to my penthouse.
“Oh yeah?” I ask as I land fully back into work mode. “Do you have any tastings lined up?”
Kacy, ever the foodie, smiles so hard that her cheeks take on a rosy hue. “That’s the exciting part.”
“Good because our projected grand opening date is in a few months and we needed a chef yesterday.”
“Understood. And we will do our trial stay a month before the opening.”
“Great, I can’t wait to test all the amenities and programs.”
A fall opening was important to me because I think fall is a great time for nature. It’s the calm before winter. Plus depression seems to rise in the winter. I want my retreat available for anyone needing time to reset.
My only hope is that what I envisioned fully translates into reality. Pushing my personal thoughts aside, we dive back into the details necessary to bring my dream to life.
∞∞∞
We fell into such a strong work vibe that I failed to notice it was evening until my stomach growled.
I shoot Kacy an apologetic look. “I’m ordering dinner now.”
She waves me off. “You don’t need to do that. I can just grab something on the way.”
“No, I insist,” I say as I swipe through my phone to the food apps. “It’s the least I can do for holding you hostage.”
Standing, I stretch a little before walking over to her. She looks up expectantly as I pass her my phone.
“Lady’s choice.”
Kacy blushes a little but I know it has nothing to do with me.
“Why are you shy all of a sudden?”
She looks away, embarrassed as the pink still tints her cheek. “It’s nothing.”
I sigh and sit next to her. “It’s something, so what is it?”
“It’s…It’s…stupid,” she mumbles with a self-conscious laugh.
I sit across from her, stretch my legs, and fold my arms with a smile. “Now I must hear it.”
Kacy shakes her head and squares her shoulders. “Okay. I’ll just own up to it. I love this new reality television show. It’s one of those dating shows,” I withhold the eyeroll as she speaks. “I know how you feel about The Bachelor and all that jazz.”
I chuckle at the memory of our very heated debate when she once had the audacity to suggest that I sign up for it. I’d rather really spend the time getting to know a woman instead of going on a million mini dates.
“Hate the idea but continue.”
“Well, this is one of those multiple couples love and games type of shows. Where we can vote on our favorites or who we want to leave the show,” her eyes light up as she speaks about the nonsense.
“Each season takes place in a different location but this season takes place on a private island and they dress accordingly. The new host is gorgeous. I look forward to her appearances. All of the tropical colors look great on her brown skin.”
“And eating dinner here will mean I’m signing up to watch tonight’s episode with you.”
She nods happily. “And you pay for the commercial free version of all the streaming services.”
A surprised laugh breaks out of me. “I’d like to think I pay you enough to have commercial free services as well.”
“One,” she says, holding up a finger. “But not all.”
My skeptical huff brings another giggle out of her. Slowly, I nod since I don’t have anything else to do anyway.